


The Redemption of Ben Skywalker

by AngelofTartarus



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:34:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 58,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22080415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelofTartarus/pseuds/AngelofTartarus
Summary: Reylo AU after the events of Episode IX.While the fight against Palpatine is over, the war is not finished. The First Order has regrouped and its generals have seized power in the absence of Kylo Ren. They are waging war against planets supporting the resistance and continuing their mission to conquer the galaxy. Rey, Ben, Poe, and Finn must overcome their differences to defeat the First Order once and for all.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey/Ben Solo
Comments: 7
Kudos: 37





	1. Save the Galaxy

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars.
> 
> A/N: This story is my take on the events following Episode IX (so there are mild spoilers for the movie in this first chapter). This story is AU, so I have taken some liberties with some of the character's backstories. With that, enjoy! :)

Ben slammed into the rocky cliff, the force of it knocking the breath out of him. He wished he could say being thrown into a bottomless chasm was the worst thing that had happened to him today, but it barely grazed the top ten. Being stabbed by Rey and having their bond energy ruthlessly sucked out by Palpatine had won the top spots. Gravel shifted underneath him and he slid towards another drop-off. He scrambled for a handhold as he flew off the edge of the slope. He barely managed to grab onto a ledge, leaving the rest of his body unsupported. He glanced down and immediately regretted it. The dark void beneath him had no end, just endless rows of black icicles rising out of the darkness like teeth in the maw of some ancient creature. Icy winds blasted out of nowhere and threatened his hold on the ledge. With his flagging strength, Ben didn't know if he would be able to hang on. This was the end for him. Fitting, really. Dropping to his death on the lost planet of the Sith. Even if he had tried to redeem himself by switching to the rebel's side – no, Rey's side – no one would miss him.

A high-pitched cry echoed down the crevasse, filled with pain. Blue and white streaks of Force-lightning lit up the sky impossibly high above him. No! Palpatine was using the Force-lightning to torture Rey. Determination like nothing he'd ever experienced overcame Ben. Not even his need to destroy Luke, find Rey during the early days of the war, or to take over the galaxy came close. Newfound energy filled him to the brim and he lunged up with his other hand to catch the ledge. He pulled himself up, his muscles screaming at him. He ran up the slope, avoiding the patches of loose gravel. He pulled himself up the walls of the chasm, ignoring the jagged edges that sliced open his hands and knees. Rey needed him. He wouldn't fail, he could not fail. Minutes passed as he climbed, the crackle of lightning above him motivating him to keep pressing on. As he neared the top, the outcropping of rocks he had his hands on broke free and he fell downwards. He desperately reached out for a new handhold and found one. Agony raced through him as his leg was pierced by a transparent icicle. Bracing his other foot on a sturdy shelf, Ben jerked his leg free with a loud shout. He brought a trembling hand down to the gaping hole in his leg. How had Rey healed the saber wound in his abdomen? It'd felt like she'd channeled her life energy into it. Ben tried to do the same, diverting his energy to closing the huge hole. The pain lessened as arteries and veins healed and tissues knitted back together. It wasn't completely healed as Ben had little energy left and no idea what he was doing, but it was serviceable. He continued the climb, wincing every time he used his injured leg.

Suddenly, the rocks around him vibrated with the force of a thousand fathiers stampeding across an open field. Stone and icicles shattered around him as he tried to maintain a grip on the chasm walls. Bright white light illuminated every inch of space, so luminescent that Ben had to shut his eyes. A horrible screaming rent the air, drowning out the forceful crackle of lightning. Ben took solace in the fact it did not sound feminine. The light eventually died away, as did the screaming. An eerie silence took its place; not even the light taps of footsteps came from above. Ben quickened his movements as much as he could. The vibrations had rendered most of the handholds unusable, so Ben had to jump from section to section using the Force. He almost blacked out and lost his grip after one such jump; he breathed in deep and waited for the spots to clear from his vision. His muscles screamed at the brutal tension he was subjecting them to. He reached out and prayed for whoever he hadn't alienated to hear him and help him.

_I have you, son._

His father's voice echoed in his ears and it seemed like helping hands were aiding him as he continued his climb. He reached the top of the chasm and dragged himself over the edge, finally setting foot on solid flat rock.

He looked up and fear enveloped him as he saw Rey lying unmoving on the ground in front of the throne. He couldn't feel her life force. He forced himself to his feet and stumbled his way towards her, panting as his lungs protested. His injured leg gave out midway and he crashed to the ground; he refused to give up and stood, resting his weight on his good leg. He hopped his way to Rey, dragging his useless leg behind him. He finally made it and slumped to the floor next to Rey. Her white tunic was now ashen gray and her face matched that shade. Several brown strands of her hair had escaped her buns and were strewn across her face, lightly covering several bright red lacerations. Ben gathered her into his arms, supporting her weight with his legs. He felt for a pulse, but there was none. His heart broke into a million pieces. He pulled her close and buried his face in her hair as tears fell.

He was too late; he had failed Rey. Was this his destiny? To fail every single person he cared about? He'd failed his father, mother, Chewie, and countless others… even Uncle Luke. And now Rey was the newest addition to the list. No. He refused to accept this. He leaned back from Rey and looked down at her prone, pale face. If there was one person he refused to let suffer because of his actions, it would be Rey, the woman who had stood up to the evils of the galaxy like him, the First Order, and Palpatine, and had won. The woman who had wormed her way into his heart and changed him for the better.

He evened out his breathing and placed a hand on her abdomen. He closed his eyes and reached deep within him, searching for the energy than ran throughout him, that gave him life. Finally finding it, he pushed it into Rey, willing it to bring her back from death. The energy resisted, fighting to stay within him, to fulfill its purpose to keep him alive. But his resolve was stronger and he pushed it all into Rey. Nothing mattered except her.

He opened his eyes, hoping to see those beautiful hazel eyes gazing back at him. But nothing had changed. Rey was still deathly pale and unresponsive. It hadn't worked. Ben closed his eyes again as his strength flagged; he waited for death to claim him.

A small hand brushed over his hand on Rey's abdomen, barely there, yet extremely solid. Ben's eyes snapped open and his heart skipped a beat.

"Ben," Rey smiled up at him and raised a hand to caress his cheek and wipe away a tear.

Color was returning to her face and the red cuts were slowly closing. He'd done it. Rey sat up and brought up her other hand to cup his cheek. He leaned into the touch greedily.

"You saved me," Rey said, gazing at him wonderingly. "Again."

"Always," Ben smiled, truly smiled for the first time in years.

Rey beamed and pressed her lips to his. Ben wrapped his arm around her waist and drew her in closer. Their tongues tangled as they explored each other's mouths slowly in a sweet kiss. Ben wished this moment could last forever. Rey leaned back a little, her nose touching his. Their breath mingled together in the air in little white puffs.

Ben opened his mouth to say something, but the world suddenly whirled around him. The black stone blurred into an endless void and Rey's silhouette turned fuzzy. He realized his energy was deserting him at an alarmingly fast rate.

"Ben?" Rey's expression turned from happy to worried in the blink of an eye as he swayed.

He fought it; he needed to tell Rey how much he loved her. But it was not to be. He collapsed onto his back, the world slowing down around him.

"Ben!" Rey's desperate shout seemed to come from a distance.

The armada of exploding star destroyers was suspended in the sky like a macabre display of fireworks, surrounded by the tiny dots of resistance starfighters. Rey's face appeared above him, yelling soundlessly. His vision speckled into a field of white and he knew no more.

-oOoOoOo-

"BEN!" Rey yelled, shaking Ben's shoulders forcefully.

They'd been sharing a magical kiss – her first one, actually – and now Ben was lying unresponsive on the cold ground. He stared unseeing at the sky, turning paler by the second. She reached out with the Force, but she could barely feel his life force. No, she couldn't lose him now! It couldn't end like this. She pushed her healing energy into him, dragging him back from the brink of death, almost at the cost of her own health. Ben started breathing again, but Rey felt dizzy and had to cut off the transfer before she depleted her own dangerously low energy reserves. She realized Ben must have given her all his energy to save her, uncaring what it would mean for him. That made her love him all the more, yet at the same time she cursed his stupid gallantry. She opened herself again and pushed tiny amounts of energy to Ben, just enough to keep him alive and her conscious.

A huge crash sounded above and shards of icicles and stones rained down around them, cutting into their exposed skin. Rey covered Ben protectively to shield him from the barrage. When it lessened, Rey looked up. Chunks of obliterated star destroyers were falling from the sky and crashing into the Sith fortress. She had to get them out of here before they were buried by the falling rocks. She made sure the two lightsabers were clipped to her belt before standing and gathering Ben's tall figure into her arms with strength she didn't know she possessed and headed for the exit. She stumbled through the dark corridors, struggling to keep a grip on him and avoid the falling rocks and metal. Rey screamed as debris pummeled her from above. She pushed on, using the Force to navigate out.

Eventually, daylight breached the dark paths, lighting the way to the exit. They barely cleared the threshold of the fortress when the remnants of a destroyer smashed down close by, propelling glass towards them. Rey bit back a yelp as sharp pieces of glass burrowed into her back and shoulders, making her fall to her knees. Several large shards had also hit Ben in the leg. Rey compelled herself to push on, climbing back onto her feet and readjusting her grip on Ben. He seemed to get heavier with each step she took. Her X-wing was still parked where she'd left it. Alongside it was a TIE-fighter that Ben must have arrived in. She made her way towards the latter ship as its cockpit seemed larger. Ben was in no condition to fly, so she was going to have to be the pilot. The tip of a star destroyer appeared out of nowhere and smashed into the TIE-fighter, utterly destroying it. The X-wing it was then. Rey Force-leaped onto the wing and gasped in pain as the movement aggravated her back. She sat down in the small seat and draped Ben across her lap; his head was pushed up against the glass and his long legs were scrunched up by the seat once the cockpit was closed. The two of them barely fit in the one-pilot starfighter and it was a struggle for her to reach the controls. She winced in sympathy as the wounds on his legs bled more, but she couldn't address that at the moment.

Vibrations shook the small starfighter as the battalion of star destroyers rained down upon Exogol's surface, splitting the surface and causing craters. She inputted a take-off sequence and swerved out of the path of the flaming wreckages. She flew towards the fleet of resistance fighters, who were finished destroying the Sith star destroyers and were entering the minefield surrounding Exogol. She followed them in, barely able to maintain enough focus to avoid the spiky obstacles in the red clouds. She took in deep breaths and called on what energy surrounded the ship. Tiny wisps of energy answered her call and she distributed them between her and Ben as she flew through the miles of interlocked stone within the red nebula. His lips were turning blue and it was alarming her, but she couldn't tend to him any more than she was, otherwise she'd crash. They wouldn't be able to jump to hyperspace until they exited the nebula.

Minutes later, she finally navigated them out of the nebula with minimum damage to the X-wing. With a press of a few buttons and a quick flip of a switch, they were launched into hyperspace towards Ajan Kloss, the jungle planet the resistance base was currently located on. Now able to marginally relax, Rey tugged the shards of glass and stone from her back and shoulders, letting them plink to the floor of the starfighter. Then she did the same for Ben, gently easing the debris from his skin. She transferred extra energy to him now that she could focus more; the blue receded from his lips and his wounds stopped bleeding and knitted back together. She traced the jagged edges of a hole in his pants; there was a half-healed wound there. Ben must have sustained it earlier in the fight against Palpatine and had tried to heal it himself. It seemed fine, so she left it be.

Rey moved Ben's head to her shoulder so he wasn't smashed against the cockpit glass. She smiled down at his serene features. He looked so calm and peaceful when he was unconscious, so unlike the guarded expressions he wore during most of their encounters.

"Don't worry. I won't let anything happen to you," Rey whispered, moving a strand of that dark hair out of his face. "We've come so far and been through so much together. I'd be lost without you."

Even before she'd been sucked into this war, when she was scavenging for rusted parts on Jakku, she'd always felt like a part of her was missing. She'd thought it had been her parents, but that had all changed when she met a small astromech droid with a bent antenna and a defected stormtrooper. After being captured and meeting Ben for the first time, she'd been revolted by her attraction and immediate sense of connection to a member of the First Order, an organization wreaking havoc across the galaxy in their efforts to rule over it. The empty chasm inside her had reached out to the masked man, telling her he was the one who was missing from her life. She now knew that she'd been subconsciously reaching out to Ben Solo, not Kylo Ren. Their destinies were intertwined, for better or worse; the dyad bond they shared was only a part of it.

A button on console beeped, signaling they were approaching the Cademimu Sector. Rey took hold of the controls as the X-wing exited hyperspace and the green moon blinked into existence. She followed the myriad of resistance starfighters down onto the planet surface. She was so exhausted, she had trouble keeping the X-wing and almost crashed into a B-wing upon landing. Sounds of cheering and jubilation filled the air as Rey opened the cockpit. She wished nothing more to join them; Emperor Palpatine and his fleet of Sith star destroyers were no more and the First Order was in disarray without a leader. But she and Ben might still die from the injuries they'd sustained in the final battle against Palpatine. Ben was in worse shape than she was; he was barely clinging to life as she was no longer able to heal him without falling unconscious herself. She climbed out of the X-wing with Ben and jumped onto the green vegetation and headed for the main encampment where the medical supplies were kept.

"Make way!" Rey yelled over the cheers. She pushed through the throngs of people hugging and kissing each other, keeping a steel grip on Ben. "I need a medic and bacta patches!"

People turned to look at her and they smiled as they recognized her. But then they registered who was in her arms and panic spread through the crowd. Screams of terror filled the air and the resistance fighters around them pulled out their blasters.

"No, wait! He's harmless," Rey insisted. "Stand down."

But her assurances weren't enough for them and they opened fire on them. Rey drunkenly dodged the first blasts, stumbling and dropping Ben onto the mossy ground. She snatched a lightsaber from her belt and activated it; she hunched low to the ground and deflected the energy blasts, but her concentration was dipping. Several blasts managed to hit her and Ben and she screamed as she was hit in the hand and the lightsaber was thrown from her grasp. She collapsed to the ground, exhausted, trying to cover Ben as the shots continued.

"STOP FIRING!" A familiar voice shouted. "That's an order!"

The assault blessedly ended and Rey shuddered as she looked up, her body wracked with pain from the burns from the blasters. There were even a few holes in her arm. Ben wasn't much better. Footsteps pattered over the grass and knelt next to them. Rey looked up to see Finn and Poe. Thank goodness her friends were here.

"Rey, are you okay?" Finn desperately asked, holding her steady as she moved off Ben. He turned in the direction of the medical tents. "Medic! We need a medic over here!" He twisted back and paled as he saw Ben beneath her.

"Help us," Rey pleaded. She could do no more to save Ben, or herself for that matter. She was too weak.

"That's Kylo Ren," Poe breathed in disbelief. "What were you thinking, Rey? Bringing our enemy to the resistance base?"

"Not the enemy anymore," Rey muttered, barely able to stay conscious. "Need help. Please."

Medics ran up with brown rucksacks, but backed away in fright at the sight of the former Supreme Leader.

"We can't…" Poe shook his head, looking scared. "He's one of them."

"Poe, Finn, please," Rey pleaded as she felt Ben's life force flicker. "Please help him."

A blue glow surrounded her and Ben, shocking the resistance fighters into taking several steps back. The glow brightened and coalesced into several beings, their presence echoing throughout the Force. Tears filled her eyes as she recognized Leia and Han at Ben's side. They placed their hands on his chest and the wounds and burns knitted together; his life force stabilized and he breathed easier. Another couple stood behind them, lending their energy to Ben as well. The man was tall like Ben with a wicked scar running down his cheek and dressed in traditional Jedi garb. There was a strange energy to him; incredible power radiated from him, yet it felt dangerous and safe at the same time. Rey thought the gorgeous woman at his side was brave to be holding hands with him. She stood proud and tall, her brown curls falling in waves to rest gently on her embroidered dress.

Rey wavered and swayed as her wounds started to register again. Hands gently landed on Rey's shoulders and steadied her; she looked up behind her to see Luke. He smiled reassuringly and she sighed in relief as the pain ebbed away. Another couple knelt on either side of her and her heart ached as she recognized her parents from her recently recovered memories. Her father shared the same blue eye color as Palpatine, yet they carried so much love and pride, something the fallen emperor could never experience. He drew her into a hug, enveloping her in strong arms. Her mother smiled lovingly and wiped the tears streaming down her face.

"We're so proud of you, Rey," She said, brushing her disheveled hair out of her face. "We love you so much."

She joined the embrace and Rey tucked her face into her mother's neck, sobbing her heart out, unable to contain the influx of sad and happy emotions. This is what she'd wanted for so long, something Palpatine had stolen from her until this moment. Warmth encircled her and entered her veins, racing through her and wiping away her injuries. She sensed several other presences in the vicinity, lending their support; they were people she didn't know, yet somehow they were familiar.

An extreme amount of fatigue gripped Rey, weighing down her limbs. She couldn't open her eyes, let alone move anywhere. She was gently laid down to rest upon the soft ground. The blue glow faded away, as did the presence of the Force ghosts. Solid hands slid under her back and lifted her up.

"Get her to the infirmary," Poe said.

"What about _him_?" Finn said, clutching her more firmly to his chest.

"I'll take care of him." Poe said.

That sounded ominous, but Rey barely registered it. She was far too exhausted. She was jostled as Finn walked quickly through the camp, but Rey was unbothered by it as she fell into a deep, healing sleep.

-oOoOoOo-

Ben frowned in his sleep. There was an annoying buzzing at his ear. He swatted at it, but it refused to go away. He rose through the layers of sleep and lashed out again. His eyes flew open as he successfully punched the buzzing monitor, sending it crashing to the ground. He sat up and groaned as bones cracked and popped. He pressed a palm to his forehead as a spike of pain rushed through his brain. What in Sith hells had happened? Where was he? The last thing he remembered was facing Palpatine and then climbing up the chasm to save Rey and then… blacking out.

He whirled about, searching for Rey, but she wasn't anywhere in the room. From the shabbiness and lack of up-to-date equipment, this was a resistance dwelling. Rey must have gotten them safely off Exogol and back to the resistance base. But where was she? Was she alright? He wouldn't believe she was okay until he saw her with his own eyes. He shunted himself off the lumpy bed and dragged on his shirt and tucked the tails into his pants. He hurriedly tugged on the boots someone had left at the bedside before stumbling to the exit. The flap opened before he got there and Poe Dameron frantically rushed in, a hand on his blaster. Mixed emotions raced through Ben as he looked at the resistance pilot who had once been his best friend.

"You're awake," Poe said, blocking the exit.

"Where's Rey?" Ben asked curtly. "Is she okay?"

"She's fine," Poe replied just as brusquely. He looked down at his boots. "Going somewhere?"

"I need to see Rey," Ben insisted, moving forward.

Poe pulled out his blaster and aimed it at Ben's stomach.

"I can't let you leave this room," Poe said. "Not until the resistance leadership has decided what to do about you."

"Get out of my way," Ben said angrily.

No one was going to stop him from going to Rey's side. He thrust out a hand and shoved hard with the Force. Poe should have been thrown out of the tent, but he merely flinched. Ben was confused; he still felt the Force and he'd wielded it like he'd done a thousand times before. Black metal glinted on his wrist, Ben noticing it for the first time. A matching band was locked onto his other wrist too.

"You dare!" He growled, marching forward, uncaring of the weapon pointed at him.

Suppressor cuffs were extremely rare. They blocked a person's ability to harness the Force. He and Poe had come across them as children when they'd been fooling around and knocked his mother's belongings to the floor. A lockbox had opened and scattered several items onto the floor, including the twin bands. The black metal had felt alive and sucked gently at his energy as he picked them up; he'd just been sharing his observations with Poe when his mother caught them. That had been the only time Ben had seen his mother be truly angry. It seemed Poe had remembered that and knew where Leia had kept the cuffs.

"Did you expect anything less?" Poe shouted back, maintaining his ground. His hand holding the blaster shook a little, betraying his true emotions. "You're the enemy, Kylo. We can't trust you."

"Rey trusts me," Ben fired back. "That should be enough for you."

"Yeah, well it's not," Poe said. "Now step back."

"Or what? You'll shoot me?" Ben snapped back sarcastically.

He bet the trigger-happy moron was just waiting for such an opportunity. Ben might as well get it over with. He lunged forward and twisted to avoid the blast Poe fired at him. He knocked the blaster out of Poe's hand and grabbed his throat. He pushed the other man back until he hit a post and lifted him until Poe choked and thrashed under his grip.

"No one stands between me and Rey," Ben growled up at Poe. "That includes you."

A commotion sounded outside, no doubt summoned by the blaster discharge. Several people ran in the tent, blasters raised and pointed at him. Ben gritted his teeth as he recognized the traitorous stormtrooper leading them.

"Let him go!" FN-2187 commanded.

"Get out of my way and I'll consider it," Ben said, eyeing each resistance fighter pensively. Most of them seemed relatively inexperienced; he doubted they could shoot a target if it was five feet in front of them. He'd get past them easily.

"You can't fight all of us," Poe wheezed in his grip.

"Of course I can," Ben smiled viciously. He'd been through worse odds.

"Not without the Force," Poe returned, struggling in Ben's grip as his lips turned blue.

"You underestimate my abilities," Ben said. Next to Snoke's praetorian guard and the Knights of Ren, the resistance fighters were no challenge.

"Rey won't be happy if you hurt us," Poe coughed out as he scratched at Ben's hand.

Ben's eyes narrowed. That was true, unfortunately. Rey had bonded with the resistance fighters as if they were her own family. He loosened his grip on Poe's neck and he dropped to the floor, coughing furiously. FN-2187 rushed to help Poe back onto his feet, supporting him and glaring at Ben.

"I'm fine, Finn," Poe assured the man.

"Take me to see Rey," Ben ordered again.

"No," Poe said roughly. "She's not awake yet anyway."

Ben gnashed his teeth. He disliked not being listened to. But at the same time, he grew worried for Rey. Why hadn't she woken up yet? Was she more injured than he remembered?

"I want three guards posted outside this door at all times," Poe ordered at the resistance fighters. He stared at Ben. "Don't try and escape, or I'll stun you."

Ben leveled what he hoped was a menacing glare at him. A twinge of fear entered the fighter's eyes and the group left the room without lowering their blasters. Ben growled and paced the short length of the room, angry to be stuck here without any answers. His short temper snapping, he grabbed the stand next to the bed and threw it against a post in the tent wall. Wood snapped and splintered and supplies flew everywhere. How was he supposed to see Rey now? Even if she was asleep, he needed to see her, just to be sure that she was alive. He sucked in deep breaths and reached out with the Force. The suppressor cuffs may inhibit his ability to wield the Force, but he could still use it to find Rey.

Her presence washed over him, soothing his frayed emotions like a soft blanket. It vibrated in his mind like ocean waves lapping against the shore as she breathed in and out. He sat on the floor, cross-legged, as an idea came over him; he'd tried many times before to initiate a connection before, to no avail, but maybe this time would be different. He focused on her presence, willing their unique bond to obey his will. A slight shimmer materialized in the air and Ben smiled. He opened his eyes and his frazzled nerves finally calmed.

Rey was sleeping peacefully on her back, her chest rising and falling evenly. Her hair had been brushed out and it was fanned out around her head. Someone had also taken the time to redress her in a clean, loose-fitting white tunic and pants. Ben huffed; they certainly hadn't been that kind to him. He'd been left with the same grimy, semi-blood-soaked clothes he'd been wearing during the battle on Exogol.

He heard his guards muttering outside, unnerved by the sudden, eerie calm. He ignored them as insignificant. He had what he wanted. He sat there for who knows how long, content to just watch Rey sleep. Against all odds, they had both made it out of Exogol alive. He'd fully intended to give his life in exchange for hers, but it seems like the galaxy had different plans for him. He jumped as Rey let out a loud snore. He chuckled lightly and settled down again. It didn't matter why he was still alive. As long as he and Rey were together, he would be happy and be able to weather anything.


	2. Fuck Everything Up

Rey blinked her eyes open and immediately shut them against the bright light. She gingerly sat up, majorly disoriented. Where was Ben? She had to get him to a healer and protect him from the resistance’s ire.

“Hey,” A deep voice said softly.

Rey turned to the bed next to her, only a foot away. Ben was sitting cross-legged and staring at her with those soulful brown eyes. He looked perfectly healthy and amazingly calm for a former member of the First Order in the middle of the resistance base.

“Take it easy,” He urged her, glancing over her form with worried eyes. “We’ve been through a lot in the past couple of days.”

“I know,” Rey sighed, rubbing her sore shoulder. “How long have we been unconscious?”

“I don’t know,” Ben shrugged. “Your friends won’t answer my questions.”

“Have they hurt you?” Rey asked in alarm. The memory of her friends firing at her and Ben haunted her. She wouldn’t have thought them capable of doing something like it.

“Aren’t you more worried about me hurting them?” Ben raised an eyebrow.

“Not right now,” Rey admitted. “They tried to kill you when we arrived.”

“They did what?” Ben asked calmly, though sparks flew in his eyes.

“It’s alright now,” Rey said urgently, trying to derail a rampage before it started. “We were badly injured; our dyad was drained, so I barely had any resources left to heal you. I managed to get us here, but we were waylaid on the way to the medic tents. When they saw you, they just…” She sighed heavily.

“They didn’t just fire at me, did they?” Ben asked seriously as he looked at her bare arms, which were covered in faint red circles. He swallowed hard, his hands clenching into fists.

“Poe stopped them just in time,” Rey covered the faint remnants of the injuries. “I’m really alright, Ben.”

“I can’t say I’m shocked they took their chance to shoot me, but I’m surprised your friends are capable of firing on you,” Ben’s eyes took on a red tinge as his face hardened into an expression that was more Kylo Ren than Ben Solo. “Aren’t you supposed to be their Jedi hero?”

“Everyone makes mistakes, including me,” Rey said. “I shouldn’t have tried to carry you through the camp, but I wasn’t thinking. They were just frightened.”

Ben said nothing to that. His eyes flicked to the tent exit, where people were walking to and fro.

“Maybe it’s just as well that they attacked us,” Rey leaned forward, gaining Ben’s full attention again. She couldn’t let him leave the tent with murder in mind. It would destroy any progress they’d made with the rebels. “If that hadn’t happened, then your parents wouldn’t have appeared and saved you.”

“My parents are dead, Rey,” Ben said curtly.

“They appeared through the Force and healed you,” Rey said, smiling at the memory. “My parents were there and so was Luke. There were other presences there too. I don’t know who they were, but they were there to support us. The resistance may not like you, but they revered Han, Leia, and Luke. They won’t push you away now, not without hearing your side of the story, at least.”

“I can already tell you what their judgment will be,” Ben said sourly, but without his usual bite. He looked shocked that his family had come to his aid, even his uncle.

“Ben, please,” Rey pleaded. This was something she couldn’t let him sabotage. “Please don’t do anything to antagonize the resistance any further. I think we have a real chance of getting them to let you stay. Please? For me?”

Rey waited with bated breath. They could go out on their own, find a nice planet to settle on and get on with their lives. But Rey didn’t know if she could be completely happy doing that, knowing she’d left her friends behind. Poe and Finn were her best friends, their friendship forged through the battles they’d fought side by side together and strengthened by the many hours they’d spent on the Falcon for missions. She’d be devastated if she had to leave them behind. But she’d do it if it meant Ben would be safe. She prayed she wouldn’t be forced to make that decision.

Ben stared at her, heavy doubt in his eyes. Whatever he saw in her expression must have changed his mind, because he marginally relaxed and sighed heavily.

“I would do anything for you, Rey,” He said softly. “You know that.”

“Thank you,” Rey beamed at him. “I know it will be hard, but everything is going to be okay, so long as we have each other.”

She leaned forward to put a comforting hand on his knee and yelped as her hand passed through him and landed on the cot. She glanced up at him in shock.

“Yeah, I’m not really here,” Ben said apologetically. “They wouldn’t let me come see you, so I found another way.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t force your way through them,” Rey said, settling back on the cot.

Why couldn’t they touch each other? They’d been able to in the past. Maybe it was due to their weakened states. Their dyad must be really drained.

“I considered it,” Ben said, grinning wryly.

He pushed his long hair back behind an ear and the light glinted off something on his wrist.

“What’s that on your wrists?” Rey leaned forward curiously to examine the bands. “You didn’t have those before.”

The material was like nothing she’d ever seen before, even when she’d worked as a scavenger. The black metal was unnaturally smooth and continuous; now that she’d noticed it, she could feel a faint tugging from it. Chills ran down Rey’s spine as a dark expression flitted across Ben’s face. It was gone as quickly as it had arrived.

“Nothing you need to worry about right now,” Ben said smoothly, but there was an underlying tone to his words. He was utterly pissed off about something. He continued as Rey was about to push for a more cogent answer. “I’ll explain later.”

His gaze darted to the tent entrance. “It looks like I have visitors.”

“Be nice,” Rey warned him. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“I make no promises,” Ben gave her a cheeky wink and he faded away like a mirage in the desert.

Rey rolled her eyes and snorted in amusement at Ben’s antics. She stood up ungracefully, pressing a hand to her back and channeling minute bits of energy to wash away the aches and pains. She didn’t dare try to use more energy until she recovered more, lest she’d relapse and likely fall into a coma. She slid on her boots and wound the beige gauze-like wrap around her torso that someone had been kind enough to wash and stitch for her; there were barely any tears in the material. She secured the fabric with a belt and attached her lightsabers to it. She was tying up her hair into her preferred three-bun style when the tent flap opened and Larma D’Acy walked in.

“Rey!” The resistance commander looked a little surprised to see her awake but mostly pleased. “Thank the stars. Everyone has been so worried about you.”

“I feel great,” Rey said, spreading her arms. “Not even a scratch left.” She moved towards the exit. “If you’ll excuse me, I have somewhere to be.”

“Not so fast, young lady,” Larma reprimanded her, gently guiding her back to the bed. She took out a medical scanner. “I’ll be the judge of your health.”

Rey shifted restlessly as Larma moved the scanner over her, earning several pointed stares. She couldn’t help it; she was practically vibrating with the need to go to Ben’s side, to protect him if need be.

“I know you’re worried about Ben,” Larma said gently as she grabbed a second device and checked Rey’s eyes.

“You do?” Rey asked, dumbfounded the commander knew her thoughts.

“It’s clear to me you have a bond with the boy,” Larma said.

“The Force bonded us together,” Rey said slowly. “I don’t know why. It just happened one day.”

“I see,” Larma nodded.

The commander calmly put the devices away and tapped away on a reader, presumably clearing Rey with a clean bill of health.

“And… you’re okay with that?” Rey asked curiously. Everyone else had been revolted at her defense of Ben or had tried to convince her of his evilness. So why wasn’t Larma doing the same?

Larma sighed and sat down next to Rey and grasped her hands. “Most of the resistance you see today joined long after the fall of the empire and the destruction of the new Jedi Order. They only know of Kylo Ren and the atrocities he’s committed as a leader of the First Order,” She explained. “But I knew Ben as a child. I taught him how to patch wounds and work a command console. I was the first to witness him use his abilities with the Force; he levitated a distraught Loth-cat out of a hole it was trapped in,” Larma’s warm, reminiscent smile turned sad. “When he turned to the dark side and joined the First Order, I was devastated. I knew it had to be some sort of mistake. The sweet child I knew couldn’t be the monster I kept hearing about in the resistance reports,” Larma took in a shuddering breath and squeezed Rey’s hands. “But then you came along and everything changed. Leia had hope in her eyes again, as did Han when he returned with you. I knew you would be the one to bring Ben back into the light.”

“You don’t mind that we’re… together?” Rey asked. Larma may be happy that she’d separated Ben from his Kylo Ren persona, but that didn’t mean she approved of any budding relationship between the two of them.

“As long as you both are happy, tell everyone who doesn’t approve to fuck off,” Larma said strongly.

Rey hugged her, almost unreasonably unhappy that someone was on her side in this matter. Larma chuckled and patted her back.

“It seems you’ve recovered nicely,” The commander stood up and beckoned Rey to follow her. “Come. We have a meeting to attend. The resistance leadership has reached a verdict regarding Ben’s presence at this base.”

“They’ve already decided?” Rey asked worriedly. She’d missed that meeting? Fear and panic enveloped her. She’d hoped to get a word in on Ben’s behalf. What if they’d already sent him away?

“Yes, we have,” Larma said, heading out the tent. “The general and the rest of the commanders have already discussed it. We couldn’t wait for you to wake up.”

Rey followed on her heels, multiple scenarios cropping up in her mind. Dread permeated every molecule of her being as they reached the command center.

-oOoOoOo-

“Who were you talking to?” The resistance fighter asked.

Ben raised an eyebrow at the man, refusing to answer. He didn’t know him and he certainly wasn’t privy to his conversations with Rey. The guard gulped and pointed his blaster at Ben.

“The general and commanders are ready to see you,” He gestured for him to stand up.

“It’s about time,” Ben muttered, standing up and dusting off his battered trousers.

“Just shut up and move,” The man growled, jamming his blaster into his back and shoving him forward out the tent.

Ben swallowed his rage and the urge to shove the man into a stack of boxes nearby. The two other guards pointed their weapons at him as he moved into the sunlight.

“Move,” The guard at his back said again, digging the weapon deeper into his spine.

Quick as a flash, Ben turned and tugged the blaster from his grip. The man stumbled back, turning white as a sheet.

“Order me again and I’ll break your back,” Ben snarled and tossed the weapon to one of the other guards. She was older than the other two and seemed to be in charge.

“Cut it out, Win,” The woman directed at her subordinate and returned the blaster with a warning glance.

“But he-“ Win protested, turning an interesting shade of red.

“You antagonized him. What did you expect to happen?” She said calmly. “You lead the way to the command center. Jecob, take the rear.”

Win grumbled but did at the woman directed. Ben smirked slightly; it seemed someone had their head on straight here. They walked through the base, seemingly taking the long way around. Ben watched as people went about their daily tasks: fixing water reclaimers, refueling starfighters, working with droids to repair engines. A few of them noticed his passage and stopped their work to stare at him. Quite a few of them were looking at him like they’d love to tear his head off. Ben was unaffected by it. Such looks had ceased to bother him long ago.

They stopped outside a larger tent draped in thick bolts of tan cloth, presumably the command center. The two male guards opened the flap and Ben was marched in by the lead guard.

“Kylo Ren for you, general, commanders,” She said, nudging him forward towards the resistance leaders.

Ben recognized most of them. Poe looked like he hadn’t slept in days and his neck was covered in purple finger-shaped bruises. That traitorous stormtrooper stood next to him, glaring at Ben. What was his name again? He was wearing that brown jacket with the red accents; Ben didn’t think he’d ever seen him wear anything else. Chewie stood near the control panels of a comm system, growling softly to a woman nearly half his size. Light flashed off of a crescent-shaped pendant around her neck as she turned. The only person Ben didn’t recognize was the humanoid woman who was crossing her arms and putting her hands on her waist simultaneously with her four limbs. She had two large incisor fangs that gently rested on her bottom lip; her eyes were pitch-black and seemed to stare directly into his soul.

“Thank you, Captain Gser,” Poe said, dismissing the guard with a nod.

“So you’re leading the resistance now?” Ben said with disbelief as she left the room. The idea of Poe being in charge of anyone, let alone the resistance, was absurd. “Is the resistance really that lacking in leaders?”

“We’ve had to do a lot of restructuring,” Poe said calmly, though his fists curled into tight balls, revealing his true feelings. “Our original leadership was killed during the chase to Crait. But you remember that.”

Ben swallowed hard. Yes, he remembered perfectly. He’d been sent to fire on the small fleet of resistance ships before they went out of range of the larger star destroyers and he’d had a chance to destroy the bridge of the main resistance ship, but he’d hesitated when he felt his mother’s presence. Ultimately, he hadn’t been able to push the button to fire, but two other TIE-fighter pilots hadn’t had that problem. He still remembered the way his stomach dropped when the bridge had exploded into flames. He’d shot down those two pilots of course.

“The resistance made me their general and Leia agreed with them,” Poe continued. “So yes, you have to deal with me whether you like it or not.”

The tent flap opened again and an older woman with curly blonde hair stepped in. Ben recognized her immediately; Larma had been as close to him as his own mother.

“I’m sorry we’re late, general,” She apologized, calm and collected as always.

Rey stepped in after her, those beautiful hazel eyes flitting around the room to land on him. She smiled and relaxed as if a great weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She smiled at him and Ben returned it as she came to him and grasped his hand.

“Don’t worry about it, Commander D’Acy,” Poe said, not taking his eyes off Ben. “He just got here.”

“So what have you decided to do with me, _general_?” Ben asked sarcastically. “So far you’ve confined me in a room and locked away my powers. I can’t wait to see what you’ll do next.”

Rey squeezed his hand, warning him to behave.

“I want to throw you into the lake and let the carnivorous fish eat you,” Poe said grimly. “And Finn agrees with me.”

“Yes, I do,” Finn said, the leather jacket creaking a little as he crossed his arms. Ben supposed he hadn’t been forgiven for slicing his back open on Ilum.

A guttural roar reverberated through the tent and Chewie stood and howled at Poe. Ben fought to keep the smirk off his face as the Wookiee berated Poe.

“But the rest of my commanders don’t agree with me,” Poe continued with a stony face. “Considering your former position in the First Order and General Leia’s last orders, we’ve decided to let you stay at our base on a probationary basis. You’ll be given quarters and be allowed to walk freely through the base. In return, you’ll provide us with intel on the First Order and participate in daily maintenance tasks.”

“Three guards will be assigned to protect you,” The four-armed commander said, her black eyes staring steadfastly at him. He couldn’t even see her pupils. “They will be a permanent fixture for the foreseeable future.

“I can protect myself just fine, even with suppressor cuffs on,” Ben thrust his hands forward to show off the bands. “You just want to make sure someone can shoot me down if I do something you don’t like.”

“Wait, what are those cuffs for?” Rey asked, glancing at Poe.

“They inhibit my ability to wield the Force,” Ben supplied before Poe could explain.

“Poe, how could you!” Rey shouted, horror strewn across her features. “Would you accept it if I stopped you from being a pilot?”

Ben knew Rey would understand, especially as she was Force-sensitive. None of the other resistance fighters could possibly understand what kind of toll this was taking on him. He’d grown accustomed to using the Force for everything from reading people to predicting events on the battlefield; it was a part of him. To be cut off from wielding it was frightening. They thought they were just inhibiting his ability to push them around, but Ben would liken it more to lopping a limb off.

“It’s necessary, Rey,” Finn said. “We can’t trust him.”

“He saved my life on Exogol! He helped defeat Palpatine!” Rey argued passionately, refusing to let them vilify him further. Ben loved her for that. “Without him, we would be lost!”

“It won’t be for forever, Rey,” The small woman with the pendant said. “Just until we can be certain he won’t betray or hurt us.”

“We can be certain of that now,” Rey gritted her teeth.

The tent dissolved into silence with Rey locked in a glaring contest with the other resistance leaders.

“Enough,” Larma said decisively, stepping forward to break the tension. “We’ll discuss this further in one month’s time. Until then, we treat Ben as one of our own.”

Rey opened her mouth to argue more, but Ben gripped her hand and pulled her back. There was no point in arguing. The resistance leaders had already made up their mind and they were giving him more leeway than he thought they would. Besides, Poe was the only one capable of deactivating the cuffs and he sure wasn’t going to do that anytime soon. He’d find another way to remove the damn cuffs.

A bell tolled outside, signaling something.

“Perfect timing,” Larma said brightly, trying to lighten the mood. “Mid-day meal commences soon. We should all get something to eat.”

“Great,” Poe mumbled, exiting the tent.

Rey gave Ben a reassuring smile and gently tugged him out the threshold. They were followed by the three guards from before. Ben didn’t feel as confident as Rey. He was being thrown to the sharks without his greatest weapon to defend himself. He knew the resistant fighters weren’t going to receive him well. The question was just how intense was their reaction going to be?

They entered a small clearing filled with plastic tables and benches. Some resistance fighters were already eating and some were in line, gathering their portions of vegetables, fruits, and what looked like fried native bird. A low murmuring filled the outdoor canteen as they noticed him.

“A warm welcome, just like I predicted,” Ben muttered under his breath.

“Don’t be so pessimistic,” Rey encouraged him. “They just need time to get to know you. Let’s get something to eat.”

Ben let go of her hand as she tried to tug him forward to join the line.

“I’m not sure I’d trust your friends not to poison me,” He said, noticing the not-so-friendly glares coming from the people serving the food.

“You need to eat, Ben,” Rey urged him. “It’s been days since we last ate something.”

“I’ll grab some of those,” Ben nodded to the bright red fruits dangling from the branches above them. Those were the same fruits the resistance fighters were eating. He could climb up and eat to his heart’s content.

Rey reached up with a hand, her brow crinkling in concentration. Several round fruits shivered and fell. Rey gently guided them to an empty table. Up close, the fruits were more of a reddish-purple color with slightly raised bumps; a faint aroma of sweetness radiated from it, making Ben’s mouth water. They sat down and grabbed a fruit each; they were about to bite into them when Poe and Finn walked up.

“Rey, we need to talk,” Poe said curtly.

“Not now,” Rey returned, not glancing up at them.

“This isn’t about him,” Finn’s eyes darted to Ben and then back to Rey. “It’s about something else.”

There was something solemn yet urgent about their demeanors, but Ben couldn’t place it. Rey obviously sensed it too because she put down her fruit and looked to him apologetically.

“I’ll be fine,” Ben assured her. He’d dealt with worse than ruffled resistance fighters before.

“Okay, I’ll be back soon,” Rey kissed his cheek and stood up to go with her friends.

Ben couldn’t hold back a blush, so he tried to hide it by biting into the fruit. It was crunchy and tart, yet it had a very sweet aftertaste. He devoured it and moved onto another, ignoring the guards at his back. Captain Gser was very professional, but another guard was just oozing animosity in his direction; he was the one who’d try to crack his spine with a blaster.

A tray plunked down on the table and Ben glanced up, wondering who was brave enough to sit next to the infamous Kylo Ren. Curious brown eyes met his gaze, examining him; it was one of the commanders.

“I’ll take it from here, Captain,” She said, dismissing his guard. “You and your men go get something to eat.”

“Yes, Commander Tico,” Gser said, holstering her blaster and gesturing for the other two guards to do the same. They headed off to join the line, interacting easily with the people around them.

“Are you sure you don’t want to keep them around?” Ben asked as he bit into another fruit. “I might make a run for it.”

“If you were going to try to escape, you would have done it by now,” She said confidently. “In any case, you should know I’m quite good with an electro-shock prod,” She patted the stunning device on her waist. “Poe asked me to keep an eye on you until he’s done briefing your guards.”

“I don’t need babysitters if I can’t use the Force,” Ben muttered around a mouthful of fruit.

“I’m sorry about the cuffs,” She said as she used her cutlery to cut up her food. “But we all feel safer knowing you can’t shove us around or choke us.”

“That’s not what the Force is used for,” Ben retorted. The resistance had a bunch of Jedi on their side for many years. How could they be so ignorant?

“That’s what you use the Force for,” She said evenly, biting into a piece of fried bird.

Ben had no good answer to that, so he stared off into the jungle. She was right; he’d mostly used the Force to intimidate and coerce the people who stood up to him, especially his enemies. His stomach growled a little as the scent of crispy bird wafted over him in full force. A handful of fruits wasn’t going to be enough to satisfy his hunger, but he wasn’t about to beg his former enemies for food.

“So what’s your story?” The commander asked curiously.

“I’m surprised you don’t already know,” Ben said sarcastically. He’s sure she already knows the tale of Kylo Ren and his fall to the dark side. Who didn’t?

“I’ve heard a lot of stories,” She nodded, sipping some water. “But not from your lips.”

“Why do you care?” Ben shot back.

“I didn’t,” She said earnestly. “You were a monster in charge of the organization who killed my parents and my sister. You couldn’t have cared less if the resistance was obliterated from existence; after all, you led the attack on Crait which almost finished us off. But after the Battle of Exogol, Rey carried you into this base and shielded you with her own body when our people panicked and fired on you. Then your parents and other Force-ghosts appeared and healed you from those injuries. Why would they do that if you haven’t changed? So what’s your story?”

“I doubt it’ll differ from anything you’ve heard,” Ben said dispassionately.

“Humor me,” She insisted.

“Everything you think you know about me is probably true,” Ben shrugged nonchalantly. “I destroyed the new Jedi Order, joined the First Order, and led a ruthless crusade to rule the galaxy.”

“Yes, but why?” She asked.

“Why what?” Ben asked, confused at this line of questioning.

“Why did you turn to the dark side?” She clarified. “You’re the son of Leia Organa and Han Solo, the most revered resistance leaders in our history. Your uncle was Luke Skywalker, the first Jedi in the galaxy after the eradication of the first Jedi Order. You grew up with heroes who fought to destroy the Galactic Empire and free the galaxy of Palpatine and Vader’s tyrannical rule. I know you turned your back on all of it, but I just don’t understand why.”

“I grew up with a great many expectations thrust upon me,” Ben said. Why was he confiding in this woman? He barely knew her, but there was something about her. She was easy to talk to. “I was expected to be a great pilot, leader, Jedi, and much more. And I was fine with that. It was easy. I loved learning how to pilot a starfighter with my father. My mother and other generals of the Rebel Alliance taught me how to be a leader. When Luke expressed interest in training me to be a Jedi, I was ecstatic. He was my idol, a role model of what I wanted to become as an adult. I threw myself into my studies, determined to be the best Jedi Knight possible.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad,” The commander said, tilting her head in confusion.

“It wasn’t. I had everything I’d ever dreamed about,” Ben’s mood turned dark as he remembered what had sent his world crashing down around him. “But then my uncle tried to murder me in my sleep.”

The memory of his beloved uncle standing over him with an ignited lightsaber haunted him to this day. In fact, that betrayal was what he’d used to fuel his anger whenever he felt the slightest bit of calling to the light.

“Luke Skywalker?” She said with disbelief. “He would never do something like that.”

“I thought so too, once upon a time,” Ben huffed. Of course she would believe the great Luke Skywalker had no faults. “But he did. I saw my world for what it was in that moment. Everyone had put on a façade around me, pretending to support me when in reality they were waiting for me to turn to the dark side.” Looking back on his childhood memories, Ben had seen how cautious everyone had been around him, how they’d whispered behind his back. “They didn’t accept me as one of their own and they never would.”

“You can’t know that,” She said. “It might have just been your mind warping your memories.”

“I know what I saw,” Ben said grimly. “In any case, it’s too late now. With my reputation as the Jedi Killer and leader of the First Order, your resistance will always see me as the enemy.”

“But you helped defeat Palpatine. You have a chance to change our perception of you,” She said, reaching out to touch his hand. She quickly retreated as he trained an icy glare on her.

“Why should I bother when I know it won’t do any good?” He asked darkly. He knew how the resistance fighters operated. They’d never forgive him for his misdeeds.

“You won’t know unless you try,” She said.

Ben didn’t reply. It would be a waste of breath. She would soon learn that her persistence was futile. His stomach growled a little louder this time, but Ben gamely ignored it.

“Here.”

A bread roll was thrust in his direction and Ben looked up at the commander in surprise. Why was she offering him food? He’d all but said he wasn’t going to help the resistance. He took the offering cautiously. From what he could garner from the Force, it didn’t seem like she was being disingenuous. He scarfed down the roll in two bites; it was flaky and a bit chewy and still warm from the oven.

“I’m Rose, by the way,” She said, smiling at him. “Can I call you Kylo?”

“I’d prefer Ben,” He grunted, still not sure why he was being so friendly to this woman.

“Okay, Ben,” Rose said cheerily. “Let’s go meet your guards and then I’ll show you around the base.”

They left the canteen and walked towards a dense grouping of tents.

“This is where everyone sleeps,” Rose indicated. “We’ll set up a tent for you tonight.”

They walked to the edge of the base into an arena of sorts. There were targets set up in the distance and an assortment of blasters and staffs in storage containers. Three individuals were speaking with each other next to the bins.

“This is where our fighters train,” Rose explained. “Though Rey has her own training course that runs through the jungle.” She waved over the people. “These three have agreed to be your guards. Captain Mixa Ivin, Sertali Hils, and Aarzio Tam.”

Ben raised an eyebrow at the unique group. He had to give Poe some credit for his choice of guards. Appointing a Zeltron was smart; the captain had the ability to experience the emotions of people around them. It was even rumored that they could control a person’s emotions. One of the guards was a Selonian; she was taller than all of them and struck a formidable figure with her glossy brown fur, fangs, and curled claws. Her whiskers bristled at the end of her pointed face as she stared at him with angled black eyes. The last guard was a human with generic features, but his demeanor labeled him as anything but ordinary; he had the look of someone who had seen many battles and would give no quarter.

“Well then,” Rose clapped her hands as the silence stretched on. “Why don’t we take a tour of the base.”

The guards fell into line behind Ben as Rose showed him around the base. Many hours passed as she showed him everything from where the mechanics fixed the base equipment to the starfighter landing spaces to the food storage and prep areas and, of course, the location of the latrines.

Ben got a bad feeling as they passed by a large stack of storage bins Rose was saying held medical supplies like bacta and gauze strips. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up and he could swear he felt someone watching him. He registered a swishing motion through the Force, just barely recognizing what it signified in time to react.

He grabbed the collar of Rose’s tunic and dragged her backwards with him; there was no time to be cordial about it. His guards shouted in surprise and drew their weapons on him, but Ben ignored them. He’d reacted in time to save his and Rose’s heads from being bashed in. The dull silver staff collided with a storage bin, the clang echoing through the area.

“Win! What are you doing?” One of his guards exclaimed.

“Step away from him, Aarzio,” Win ordered, murder in his eyes. “This doesn’t concern you.”

“Our orders are clear,” Captain Ivin said, stepping in front of Ben. “The general and his commanders have decreed Kylo Ren is not to be harmed. Lay down your weapon and leave peacefully.”

“Poe has lost his mind, letting this piece of scum into the base,” Win snarled. “As have all of you if you’re guarding this murderer. Have you forgotten so easily what he’s done? He’s not even sorry about it. How much are you being paid to turn a blind eye?”

The captain’s red skin turned a deeper shade of red and his tone became angry. “We have not forgotten, but that has no bearing on the matter at hand. We are loyal to the resistance. General Dameron has his reasons for letting him stay and we trust him completely.”

“Yeah, well, we don’t,” Win said. Five others stepped out from behind the maze of storage containers, each brandishing a weapon.

“Enough!” Rose barked out. “You may not like the general’s decision, but you have to live with it. I know you’re upset, but this is not the way to deal with your anger.”

“Actually, I think this is the perfect way,” Win said. He brandished his staff and swung it at Ben with a shout.

Ben watched him approach with amusement. He wasn’t attacking with any semblance of speed and his form was completely off. This would be almost too easy. But before he could wrestle the staff from Win, the violent hum of electricity filled the air. Win’s shout morphed into a high-pitched squeal as Rose zapped him with an electro-shock prod; he flew backward and landed on the hard-packed earth with a thud. 

“Stand down,” Rose ordered the rest of his friends.

“I wish we could, Rose,” One woman said regretfully.

As one, the remaining four adversaries attacked. Ben’s guards were slow to pull out their blasters. Even then, they hesitated to fire, probably unwilling to shoot their friends. They resorted to using their fists instead, bringing one fighter down together. Ben pushed Rose out of the way and easily dodged a blow and grabbed a staff from a baby-faced resistance fighter. With a quick snap, Ben knocked him out with a strike to the temple. He’d be fine, but he’d wake up with a hell of a headache. Ben whirled around, easily blocking strikes. If he was being honest, he was rather enjoying himself. Fighting was something he understood very well. The fight drew attention and a crowd formed around them, consisting of what seemed like the entire base, some cheering Ben’s opponents on.

“What the hell is going on here!” Poe shouted, shoving his way through the crowd. Ben’s assailants stopped and moved back, resentful looks taking over their faces at the appearance of their general.

“We’re doing what you don’t have the balls to do!” Win shouted. One of his friends was supporting him as the electro-shock prod had immobilized him. The crowd shouted in agreement.

“He’s a murderer! Why are we protecting him?”

“We can’t just act like he didn’t do anything!”

“Murderer!”

“Monster!”

“Kill him!”

Ben growled loudly and took a lunging step towards the angry mob, anger and rage boiling inside of him. Did they think he chose to be here? If he’d had a choice, he would have chosen to live anywhere else but with the resistance. The crowd stepped back in fright, properly cowed. Good.

“Do you think I’m happy about this?” Poe shot back. “I know better than all of you what he’s capable of and what he’s done. I wouldn’t allow him to stay on this base unless it was crucial to our survival.”

The crowd protested again, shouting insults and asking what could possibly be so important to warrant letting an enemy walk among them. Poe whistled loudly, cutting through the noise.

“The First Order is still a threat to the galaxy!” Poe shouted.

The mob quieted and fear filled the air, almost tangible.

“But… we destroyed them,” A confused Nothoiin said. Her red eyes widened in fear as the bad news hit her. “Didn’t we?”

“We destroyed Palpatine’s fleet of star destroyers, yes,” Poe nodded, lowering his voice. “But we’ve received intel that the bulk of the First Order’s generals survived the battle; some of them weren’t even present at Exogol. They’ve regrouped and taken command of the First Order. They’ve already attacked Thrantin, annihilating the colonies there, and are targeting the Venjagga system next.”

Horrified mumbles permeated through the people, becoming more and more panicked. Ben was more pissed off than scared. His subordinates had taken over _his_ army. Of course, it wasn’t his anymore as he’d renounced his role as Supreme Leader, but still. It seemed without his presence to cull their lust for power, they’d banded together to take control of the First Order forces and continue their mission to seize control of the galaxy and create a new empire. He bet Rokrisa Kandia was the one to persuade the others. He’d always sensed something power-hungry lurking behind the general’s stoic expressions and iron control; she’d been wise enough not to express it until now.

“It’s not all bad news,” Poe said urgently to calm the worried resistance fighters. “Our victory at Exogol inspired thousands of stormtroopers to leave the First Order; they no longer have the might they used to. The resistance finally has the advantage. This is our chance to finish them off once and for all!” He jabbed a finger at Ben. “And as you all know, Kylo Ren was a part of the First Order for over a decade. He knows how they operate and what their weaknesses are.”

“What makes you think he’ll help _us_?” Win shouted, stumbling forward; he’d finally regained use of his legs.

“Because he can’t go back to the First Order. He betrayed them and helped Rey defeat Palpatine,” Poe said with certainty. Several pairs of shocked eyes flicked to Ben. They hadn’t known what part he’d played in Palpatine’s demise. “As part of the deal for granting him asylum with us, Ren has agreed to help us take down the First Order.

Ben glared at Poe. They hadn’t made any such deal. But unease spread through Ben at the rest of his words. It was true he couldn’t return to the First Order. He also couldn’t go to any other planet or star system in the galaxy; his reputation preceded him, one which a planet’s inhabitants would find disagreeable, to say the least. He’d burned all his bridges. He had to depend on the resistance for a safe place to stay and that put a sour taste in his mouth. Ben shivered as the feeling of being caged in crept up on him.

“If anyone has any more complaints, you can voice it after we’ve destroyed the First Order,” Poe glared at the crowd, especially Win, as it seemed they wanted to protest some more. “We need to stay ahead of them while we can and predict where they’ll attack next. We can do this, but we need to stay united and use every advantage we have.”

The resistance fighters grumbled to each other and sent hateful glares at Ben, but they dissipated peacefully. They were too distracted and scared by the news the First Order was regaining their power to be mad at Ben.

After everyone left, Poe stalked up to him, getting right in his face. Ben’s hackles immediately rose in preparation to attack; he was already inflamed by the rebel’s pointless attack on him today and the increasing feeling of helplessness.

“You need to be more amiable,” Poe hissed. “Or I’ll order your guards to make sure you don’t leave your tent.”

“I’m not the one who started it,” Ben snarled. Of course Poe thought he’d started it. “And I don’t recall agreeing to help you fight the First Order.”

Sparks flew in Poe’s eyes and he swallowed hard, clearing pushing back what he really wanted to say. He glanced at the guards and Rose.

“Captain, why don’t you and your fighters go and make sure we’re not disturbed? Ren and I need to talk.” Poe asked politely, but every word was laced with venom.

The guards hesitated but ultimately obeyed their general’s orders.

“Poe, are you sure-“ Rose asked, glancing worriedly between the two of them.

“I’m sure, Rose,” Poe cut her off. “Go.”

Rose gulped and ran off, following the guards.

“Afraid of making a scene, _general_?” Ben asked mockingly.

“I don’t want an audience for this,” Poe said. “Morale is low enough as it is with the news of the First Order making a comeback so quickly.”

“I’m still not going to help you,” Ben crossed his arms, gazing defiantly at the resistance general.

“You will or I’ll fly you into space and jettison you and watch you explode,” Poe threatened.

“I’d like to see you try,” Ben huffed. Poe didn’t have the balls to do anything to him.

“Stop being an asshole and do something right for once in your life!” Poe spat at him.

Ben shoved him back roughly and wiped the spittle off his face. “You think I care about the resistance? Why should I help when I know it won’t change how you see me? I’ll always be the Jedi Killer in your eyes, responsible for hundreds upon thousands of deaths, including your precious General Leia Organa and Han Solo.”

“Do you want to be responsible for even more deaths?” Poe yelled. “You must have been a great Supreme Leader if that’s the mentality you used to command your forces. Rey should have left you on Exogol so you could return to the First Order and resume your command. They would die out without us having to lift a finger.”

“You’re the last one who should be preaching about being a responsible leader,” Ben returned sharply. “Or have you already forgotten about D’Qar?”

“What about D’Qar?” Poe asked through gritted teeth, a warning flashing in his eyes.

“I was there,” Ben pressed forward, uncaring of Poe’s reaction. “I watched as you led sixty-three people to their deaths. And for what? To destroy a single dreadnought?”

“How did you…?” Poe turned pale.

“I felt their passage into the Force. They believed in their mission, every single last one of them,” Ben revealed. “But do you think it was worth it, sacrificing their lives? Do you think that validates killing the crew of 250,000 people?”

Poe breathed harder, growing red in the face.

“Don’t you dare call me a heartless killer when you’re guilty of the same crime,” Ben said. He smiled grimly and couldn’t resist rubbing salt in the wound. “It must have been your idea to bomb the Fulminatrix. My mother knew better than to sacrifice her people for a pointless cause.”

Poe shouted in fury and threw a punch. Ben couldn’t move back in time to avoid it; his ability to predict his opponent’s movements through the Force was off-kilter. His jaw exploded in pain and stars burst behind his eyes at the force of the punch. He dodged the next blow and clouted Poe in the stomach, following it with an uppercut to his chin when he doubled over.

“I did what needed to be done to give the resistance time to escape,” Poe spat out a mouthful of blood onto the grass and glared at Ben hatefully. “And saved countless others in the process! How many innocent lives would that dreadnought have taken if I hadn’t led my forces to destroy it? Millions!”

“Do your friends see it the same way?” Ben asked, his jaw aching with every word. “They lost friends and family members that day. I’m sure they don’t think about the faceless millions who were spared, only their loved ones. Can you really say it was worth it and still look them in the eye?”

“They understood the risks when they joined the resistance,” Poe kicked him in the shin and then boxed his ear. Ben stumbled back, his ear ringing painfully. “I didn’t lie to them. I’m not a monster who recruits children and brainwashes them into being soldiers for an evil cause! I’m not the one who tortured my best friend for information!”

“I may be a monster, but at least I’ve acknowledged it!” Ben growled and rushed at Poe.

The pilot backed up but stumbled over a staff left on the ground. Ben took advantage of that to kick him in the balls and punch him; he got lucky and his fist landed squarely on Poe’s eye. Poe let out a squeak and fell to the ground.

“You’re just like me, Poe,” Ben said, dragging him up by the collar. He stared down at the pilot, daring him to contradict him. “Admit it.”

“I’m not anything like you,” Poe said gruffly and kicked him square in the groin, returning the favor.

Ben lost his grip on Poe’s collar as sharp pain enveloped his senses. He bent over, instinctively trying to protect his lower half from another attack. The pain doubled as hands interlocked behind his head and a knee smashed into his nose. Blood spurted everywhere as cartilage broke. Ben coughed up blood as Poe pushed him hard into the metal storage containers. His hand got snagged between a couple of the containers and broke a few of his fingers. Ben howled in pain and headbutted him forcefully. Poe stumbled backward and Ben punched him again, this time landing on his lip, splitting it. He took hold of the pilot’s arm and jerked it; Poe yelled in agony as the larger bones snapped.

All of a sudden, an invisible force gripped them and dragged them apart. They landed painfully on their backs, winded from the impact and their fight.

“What the kriff is going on here!?” A deep voice shouted.

Ben and Poe looked up to see Rey and Finn standing over them. Rose and Larma were running up behind them with Captain Ivin and the other guards. Finn rushed over to Poe, helping him up by his good arm; he glared at Ben in full force as he took in the extent of damage to Poe’s body. Rey stood still with her hand outstretched, staring at both of them in abject horror. Ben imagined they looked rather terrible; they were covered in blood. His fingers on his right hand were bent in unnatural angles and his nose was spasming in pain. Poe didn’t look that much better; he clutched at his broken arm with white-knuckled fingers and his eye was steadily turning black.

“Why weren’t you here to stop them?” Larma demanded at the guards.

“General Dameron commanded us to give them a private moment,” Captain Ivin explained.

“And that struck you as a good idea?” Larma asked in disbelief, waving a hand at Ben and Poe. “Considering the history between them, you didn’t foresee this outcome?”

“That’s why I went to go get Rey and Finn,” Rose explained to her. “I didn’t think anyone else would be able to get between them if they fought.”

“You should have just tased them both,” Finn argued, helping Poe to sit down on a container.

“What were you boys thinking?” Larma shook her head in displeasure. “We can’t afford to fight amongst ourselves.”

“Well, he’s not one of us anymore, is he?” Poe said tightly. “And Kylo has made it perfectly clear he’s not going to help us.”

“Stop calling me that!” Ben hissed, advancing on the wounded general. Blood was flowing down his face, but he didn’t care. He only felt the incandescent rage racing through him, urging him to eradicate the person who was making him feel that way. “My name is Ben Solo, not Kylo Ren!”

“Do you really think you can change your name from Kylo Ren back to Ben Solo? You’re not worthy of the name Solo!” Poe shouted at him, stopping him in his tracks.

“Poe!” Rey yelled at him, but he soldiered on.

“You’re not even worthy of Leia’s name. Not after the way you killed them,” Poe pushed on brutally. “Do you think taking their names will make us forget who you really are? I have news for you, it won’t. You can’t go back to being Ben Solo and pretend nothing happened.”

“Shut up,” Ben whispered.

Poe’s words shouldn’t be affecting him, but they were. He’d thought he could return to being Ben Solo and grind Kylo Ren into dust, but it just wasn’t so. Poe was right. He had no right claiming the Solo name for himself. He’d killed his defenseless father and drove his mother to her death; it didn’t matter they’d forgiven him, the guilt was eating him alive.

“Does the truth hurt, _Ben_?” Poe glared at him hatefully. “I hope it does. You’ll never be one of us.”

“Shut up, Poe,” Rey stalked over to him and grabbed his arm.

Poe howled as his bone breaks cracked back into place. His split lip healed and the dark bruise receded from his eye. Ben swallowed and he despaired that Rey had gone to attend her friend first. The tang of iron was heavy on his tongue; his broken nose hadn’t stopped bleeding. A huge wave of exhaustion overcame him, undercut a little by his broken limbs and aching body. He just wanted to sleep and escape this nightmare. He hadn’t realized until this moment that he was so tired of being on the defensive.

Ben tried to funnel energy towards his broken fingers, but he couldn’t grasp onto the energy long enough to control it; the cuffs prevented him. He glowered down at his fingers, feeling utterly helpless. Gentle fingers took his hand and Ben looked up in surprise. A flood of healing energy poured from Rey into him, healing his injuries faster than he ever could have. He gently flexed his fingers so they wouldn’t heal crooked. She laid her palm over his nose and it burned and itched as it straightened and snapped back into place, making his eyes water. Rey gazed at him with stern, unhappy eyes, not unlike the early days of their acquaintance. But Ben could feel anxiety and worry emanating from her. More guilt piled on him for subjecting her to this.

“I’m very disappointed in both of you,” Larma said, anger lacing her usually gentle voice as she glanced between Ben and Poe. “If you weren’t grown men, I would spank you both and send you to bed without supper.”

“We needed to hash things out,” Poe said. He swung his arm in circles to get feeling back into it. Finn hovered over him protectively, making sure he didn’t overextend himself.

“Not in this fashion, you didn’t,” Larma said with finality, her blue eyes flashing in anger. “But I trust you’ve said what you needed to say to each other and can move on to establish a working relationship.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Poe said, looking down.

Larma trained a stern gaze on Ben and he grunted and nodded his assent.

“Good. I know you boys have bad history, but the time has come to move on,” She insisted. “I need you to have clear heads to deal with the First Order. They’ll take every weakness we have and turn it against us. I will not allow the resistance to crumble because you boys can’t get along!”

Steely silence filled the clearing, everyone unwilling to speak up against the irate commander. Even Ben was cowed by Larma’s demeanor; she was usually a sweet and understanding woman who avoided conflict.

A bell tolled again, breaking the silence and signaling the last meal of the day. The group glanced and saw the sun had indeed disappeared into the trees and the sky had darkened.

“Everyone go eat and get a good night’s rest,” Larma ordered. “I expect you all to behave yourselves tomorrow and have your primary concern be defeating the First Order.”

She turned around and headed off, not waiting to see if they would follow her orders. Poe sent another glare at Ben and headed off after her, Finn on his heels. Ben and Rey followed at a more sedate pace, the three guards at his back.

“What happened?” Rey asked quietly.

“We had a talk,” Ben said as he wiped the blood off his face; he might have only succeeded in smearing it around.

“A talk which elevated into a massive fight?” Rey said with disbelief, snapping her head towards him. “If Rose hadn’t fetched me, you two would have torn each other apart.”

“I have a feeling that’s what the majority of the resistance base wants anyway,” Ben shrugged. “Besides, we wouldn’t have gone that far.”

“Don’t try to downplay this, Ben,” Rey said furiously. “If you and Poe have a problem, then we need to fix it now.”

“It can’t be fixed,” Ben muttered and stalked ahead in long strides. That friendship had crumbled to ash years ago.

“Just like you couldn’t redeem yourself?” Rey asked, almost running to keep up with him.

Ben scoffed at the ridiculousness at that question. He hadn’t redeemed himself. He’d just let go of the deep-rooted hatred he’d held within himself for so many years and decided to throw his lot in with Rey. His return to the light side had nothing to do with nobility or justice. He’d faced Palpatine and the Knights of Ren because he wanted to make sure Rey would be safe. 

“You can be one of us,” Rey said with determination. “You just need to try harder.”

“Really? What exactly should I try to be?” Ben asked in exasperation. “A resistance fighter? A Jedi? A better prisoner?”

“You don’t need to choose anything,” Rey said, grabbing a hold of his hand and tugging him to a stop. “Just be Ben Solo.”

“Ben Solo died over a decade ago,” Ben said solemnly. “I just didn’t realize it until now. I don’t know who I am anymore.”

“You’re my friend,” Rey said simply.

The turmoil in Ben died down a little and he smiled gratefully at her. After everything he’d put her through, Rey still stuck by his side and had faith in him. He didn’t deserve it.

They continued walking to the canteen, Ben’s guard following them like silent wraiths. Doubts kept surfacing in Ben’s mind if he really wanted to stay here with the resistance. Star knew, he would get no peace; every day would be a battle. Could he really stay here and not be haunted by the ghosts of his past? He couldn’t get rid of the feeling of being trapped. Trapped by the guards, the cuffs, Rey’s expectations… even his own thoughts.

They entered the clearing and the happy and boisterous conversations faltered and silence descended as everyone turned to stare at Ben. Rey gripped his hand tighter as she sensed his unease, but it didn’t help one bit. Rey murmured to Captain Ivin that she’d guard him while he and the others ate. The guards hesitated for a moment before complying with the command; they didn’t stray far though. The resistance fighters started talking again, but their voices were muffled and low and their gazes were trained on Ben.

“I can’t take this anymore,” Ben said as everything slipped further and further from his control.

“I’m right here, Ben,” Rey said in a comforting tone, turning him to face her. “What’s wrong?”

“What isn’t wrong?” Ben huffed, briefly amused. “I don’t belong here.”

“Of course you do, Ben,” Rey raised a palm to cup his cheek, her lovely hazel eyes entreating him to see things her way.

“I don’t, not anymore,” Ben disagreed. “Everywhere I go, everyone I meet, I’m reminded of the mistakes I’ve made. You only saw my fight with Poe, but there’s more to it.”

“Tell me,” Rey pleaded.

“We used to be best friends,” Ben nodded at Poe. The pilot was talking with his friends and laughing. Their gazes happened to meet and Poe’s eyes hardened and he turned his back on him. The pit in Ben’s stomach grew. “We were inseparable and did everything together. We would have died for each other.”

But that was over now and there was no going back.

“Take Larma,” Ben nodded at the golden-haired commander. “When I was a kid, she read me bed-time stories when my mother was away on business. She was as close to me as my own mother.”

“She still cares for you, Ben,” Rey insisted.

“Even if she does, our relationship will never be the same,” Ben shook his head with regret. “She carries herself differently around me now. She’s tense and she’s always ready to reach for her blaster. When I look her in the eye, all I see is disappointment and fear.”

He jabbed a finger at the tables full of resistance fighters. “That’s only a few examples of the changes I’ve noticed in the people I once knew. I haven’t even mentioned Chewie or Wedge. The rest are either dead because of me or they’re new like most of the people here, and they hate me because of what I’ve done. And rightly so, I might add.”

“If you show them you’re willing to change, they’ll accept you,” Rey said with certainty.

Her eyes were filled with unshed tears as she felt his pain over their bond. Ben didn’t want her pity. He’d had enough of that to last a lifetime.

“I’m not sure if I even want to stay here, Rey,” Ben said.

“Why?” Rey growled out. “Why are you so afraid to try? You go through one bad day and you decide to quit?”

“Because I know I’ll never fit in here!” Ben said forcefully.

“You don’t know that!” Rey argued.

“Don’t I?” Ben’s eyes traveled down to Rey’s belt where she kept her two lightsabers.

Ben snatched one from her belt and activated it. The bright blue beam shot into existence and the buzzing hum filled the air. As one, the resistance fighters drew their blasters and pointed them at him. Some pushed their unarmed friends behind them for protection. They shouted curses and insults at him.

“I knew we couldn’t trust him!” A high voice shouted.

“Shoot him before he can kill us!” Another panicked voice yelled.

“I told you he was still evil!” Win shouted from a nearby table; he was being restrained by his friends to stop him from charging at Ben.

Even though Ben knew they would react this way, it still hurt to see it and know he was right. He would never be a resistance fighter. He would never be one of them.

“Stand down!” Poe shouted, stalking forward through the mass of blasters, shoving down the weapons as he passed. “I’ll take care of this.”

Poe grabbed the lightsaber from him and deactivated it. The fighters muttered amongst themselves, holstering their weapons but keeping a close eye on him.

“What are you thinking?” Poe growled.

“I’m thinking I don’t belong here and I never will.” Ben retorted.

“Well, you got that right,” Poe shot back.

“Ben, you’re not thinking straight,” Rey said. “You just need to clear your head. Let’s go for a walk.”

“It’s going to take a lot more than a walk to change my mind,” Ben said.

“Are you joking?” Poe asked incredulously. “He’s not going anywhere but his tent after that display.”

“If you think I’m going to follow your orders, you’re sadly mistaken,” Ben said dangerously. He turned to Rey and tried to smile, but it came out more menacing than reassuring. “I think a walk is a perfect idea. I’ll try to be back before sunrise.”

“What?” Poe asked dumbfounded.

Ben bolted off towards the tree-line before anyone could stop him. The resistance fighters shouted in panic as he dashed away. Blaster shots fried the trees behind him, carving small holes into the bark.

“Sertali!” Poe shouted above the din.

Ben ran through the jungle, easily avoiding fallen tree branches and debris. He smiled as he ran further away. He felt better already, away from the judging gazes and hateful remarks. He’d always done better on his own. His ears picked up footsteps behind him, gaining fast. He chanced a look behind him and saw one of his guards, the Selonian, chasing after him. Her claws were extended and her powerful tail swished behind her as she chased him; her black eyes glinted with determination and excitement at the prospect of a hunt. This was probably why Poe had chosen her to be one of his guards.

Ben pushed himself faster, running towards the sound of rushing water. He made a hairpin turn around some trees and Sertali cursed behind him. The roar of water crashing down sounded louder and Ben ran towards it. The trees thinned and they burst out onto an outcropping of rocks leading up to a large waterfall. Sertali’s tail swung out of nowhere and hit him in the side. Ben was knocked sideways; he rolled as he landed and hopped back onto his feet. The guard approached him with talons outstretched, blocking the way back into the jungle.

“You’re under arrest, Ben,” Sertali said calmly. She shifted her body weight away from the drop-off, eyeing it nervously. “Come peacefully. There’s nowhere to run.”

Ben smirked and ran to the edge of the waterfall. Claws ripped through his shirt, barely missing skin. Water droplets raced past his bare skin and soaked his clothes as he descended. Sertali’s frustrated shout was drowned out by the crashing water. Ben entered the water feet-first and the current dragged him under and along the river. He surfaced with a gasp and swam towards a bank. He looked back and smiled as he saw the guard standing at the lip of the waterfall. He’d judged her correctly. Selonians may love the water, but this one was deathly afraid of heights. He laughed and ran off into the dense trees, leaving the river far behind.

“Ben!”

Ben skittered to a stop as Rey shimmered into existence in front of him. He felt her anger and disbelief clearly through their bond.

“What the fuck are you doing?” She asked crossly.

“I just need to get away for a while,” Ben explained, hoping she would understand. “I have to regain some semblance of control over my life.”

“By running away?” Rey asked in a heart-breaking tone.

“I’m sorry, Rey,” Ben apologized, his insides twisting in agony at how much pain he was causing her.

“Please come back and let’s talk,” Rey pleaded softly.

“We’ll talk in the morning,” Ben said decisively. “I promise.”

He ran on, letting what little he could sense from the Force guide him. Rey shouted something behind him, but he couldn’t discern what she said. He must have run for at least thirty minutes before he stopped to catch his breath and wait for the black spots to disappear from his vision. His stomach growled, demanding food. He remembered that he hadn’t eaten since mid-day and that had been a paltry amount.

Tiny rustling sounded in the brush and a couple of rabbit-like creatures emerged from the leaves. They squeaked as he pounced on them and quickly snapped their necks. He gathered some dry branches and rocks and kicked away leaves to bare the ground; soon a fire was flickering strongly. He quickly skinned the rabbits with a jagged rock he found and assembled a rig.

Rumbling filled the air and large air currents brushed against the tree-tops. It sounded like Poe had assembled his pilots to take to the skies to search for him. It was a useless endeavor considering how dense the jungle was; even if they passed directly over him, they wouldn’t see him. If they wanted to find him, they would have to track him on foot.

A delicious scent rose into the air as he turned the creatures on the skewer over the flames. A tired, nostalgic smile rose to Ben’s lips as he remembered the camping trips he’d done with his parents. His mother had hated how many critters tried to bite her and suck her blood, but a quick kiss from his dad had always placated her til the next attempt.

He missed them. Ben’s heart ached with how much he wished his parents were still alive; he wished he’d made different decisions. He needed their advice, now more than ever. But they were gone because of his mistakes. He wished there was someone he could talk to, someone who understood exactly what he was going through. Ha! As if anyone could identify with him.

“Hello.”

Ben’s heart jumped and he shot up, grabbing a rock and crouching in a defensive position. A dark figure stood near the trees, somewhat obscured by the shadows. How had this person managed to sneak up on him? It should be next to impossible with how on edge Ben was. The figure stepped into the firelight, revealing a young man in his twenties dressed in a dark brown tunic and black pants and boots. His eyes were a brilliant blue that distracted from the scar running down his cheek. He moved as gracefully as a dancer or a highly trained warrior as he sat down by the fire. Strangely enough, Ben didn’t recognize him from the base.

“Aren’t you going to try and arrest me?” Ben asked cautiously.

“Would you come quietly?” The man asked as he fed the fire some more branches. His voice was deeper than Ben expected.

“No,” Ben said.

“Then no, I’m not here to drag you back to the base,” He gestured for Ben to sit down, which he slowly did.

“Then why are you here?” Ben asked. He couldn’t place it, but there was something strangely familiar about him. But how could that be?

Bright blue eyes met his gaze and the man smiled.

“We need to talk.”


	3. Who Am I?

“What is there to talk about?” Ben asked balefully.

He turned his focus the rabbits on the spit, ensuring they would cook evenly, but mostly so he wouldn’t have to maintain eye contact with the man. His brilliant blues eyes were too intense, as if they saw straight into his soul. Who the hell was this guy?

“Let’s start with something simple,” The man leaned back and tilted his head. “Why did you run away?”

“I’m not telling you anything,” Ben resisted. “I don’t even know who you are.”

“My name is Anakin,” The man said in an expectant tone.

Silence filled the air, save for the crackling of the fire and night noises from creatures coming to investigate the disturbance in their midst.

“Is that supposed to mean something to me?” Ben asked, uncomfortable with the lingering silence.

“Evidently not,” Anakin said with a sigh. “So why did you run away, Ben?”

There was no reason for Ben to confide in this stranger, yet there was something about the man that made him want to spill his secrets. What the hell, why not? He’d already told Rey and Rose pieces of his tragic backstory, so why not continue the streak?

“I don’t belong with the resistance,” Ben muttered. “With everything I’ve done, they’ll never accept me, no matter how hard I try to fit in.”

“That’s going to be a given no matter where you go,” Anakin said dismissively with a wave of his hand. “You will always be the villain in some people’s eyes, but that doesn’t mean you have to see _yourself_ as a villain. So you might as well stay and give this a shot.”

“More than likely, I’ll be shot,” Ben said darkly. He stamped out an ember as it flew out of the pit and landed on a leaf and set it aflame.

“You can handle that,” Anakin insisted. “You know how to defend yourself in a fight.”

“I know that,” Ben grumbled.

“So what’s the problem?” Anakin pushed.

“I don’t know how to defend myself against their hate and fear, okay?! It’s not something I can solve with the wave of my hand!” Ben shouted, kicking a stone into a tree and knocking off a branch. “At least, not anymore. It’s never bothered me before, but now, I feel so damn guilty every time I look at one of them!”

“That’s a good thing, Ben,” Anakin said reassuringly.

“How the fuck is that a good thing?!” Ben shouted, standing up.

“It means you’ve uprooted the darkness within you and turned away from the temptation that is the dark side,” Anakin said, turning the rig again. The rabbits were getting a little toasty on the underside. “You’ve learned how to care for people other than yourself again.”

“What the hell do you know?” Ben roared at him. “You’ve never experienced what I have! You probably grew up safe and happy on some grassy-green planet and joined the resistance because it was the noble thing to do. What do you know of hardship and strife?”

“I grew up as a slave on Tatooine, working my hands to the bone building podracers. My master forced me to race them in the local podraces. He had a massive gambling problem which he solved by betting against me,” Anakin said calmly, not even twitching at Ben’s diatribe. “When I was eight, some travelers passing through the area won my freedom and took me with them. I left behind my mother, my friends, and everything I’d ever known for the chance of a better life.” He sighed and added another branch to the pit. The firelight flickered in his eyes, which had turned serious and sad. “I joined an ancient order, which molded me into a fearless warrior, the best the galaxy has ever seen.”

“Then why haven’t I heard of you?” Ben muttered as he sat back down, feeling a little guilty at profiling the man.

“I got overshadowed by somebody else,” Anakin chuckled at some secret he decided to keep to himself. “Anyway, I fought for the Republic and saved a lot of people and star systems, and I fell in love with the most singular woman I’ve ever met in my life.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad,” Ben argued. In fact, his story reminded him of him and Rey.

“It doesn’t sound bad, does it?” Anakin smiled darkly. “My life wasn’t perfect, but it was damn near close. I had an amazing and loving wife and friends who were more like family. But I had fears, fears and doubts that I allowed to push me towards the dark side. I was too weak and I gave into temptation. I believed the lies I was told. I thought I would be able to use the dark side’s power for good, to save the people I loved, to stop the Sith from taking over the galaxy. Instead, it swallowed me up and spit me out as the very being I’d fought all my life against, a Sith.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Ben growled.

Anakin was clearly no Sith lord. He was far too young and he wasn’t radiating any sort of energy or power. Even with the cuffs on, Ben would be able to sense if Anakin was Force-sensitive and he wasn’t. Why was this delusional man spouting these falsehoods?

“You don’t believe me?” Anakin grinned, very amused at the rising color in Ben’s cheeks.

“Of course I don’t believe you!” Ben wanted to laugh, but he was far too angry. “You’re no Sith lord or great warrior. But that was a very entertaining story. Thanks so much for wasting my time. Feel free to jump off the nearest cliff.”

“I haven’t finished my story yet,” Anakin said calmly, not moving a muscle.

“Let me guess, you redeem yourself and return to the resistance as a hero and they welcomed you with open arms,” Ben predicted sarcastically.

“No, of course not. What kind of fairytale are you living in?” Anakin scoffed and rolled his eyes. “I turned against my evil master and threw him down a reactor shaft. I expired from electrical wounds and the bastard didn’t even die. I just postponed his return to power.”

“You liar,” Ben grunted. He stood up, not wanting to listen anymore.

“It’s the truth,” Anakin said. “But my point is that you’ve done far less than I have and _you_ managed to survive your battle with Palpatine. You have a chance to fully redeem yourself whereas I never did.”

“I don’t have to listen to this,” Ben said, stalking off. His stomach growled, reminding him of his food roasting on the spit. He consoled himself; he could find other rabbits to eat.

“Really, Ben?” Anakin said in disbelief, following him. “Now that you can finally see me, you don’t want to hear what I have to say?”

“You’re a crazy lunatic!” Ben shouted over his shoulder. “Why should I believe anything you say?”

He shouted in surprise as he was hoisted up against a tree. Anakin held him there easily with surprising strength, giving Ben a clear view of the man. The firelight framed Anakin’s figure and gave him a dangerous look; his blue eyes were alight with rage and his lips were raised in a snarl.

“Because I know you better than anyone else in this galaxy, Ben Solo!” Anakin shouted in his face. “You’re living the same life that I did and you have the opportunity to right your wrongs. I’ll be damned if I let you walk away from that.”

“Who the fuck _are_ you?” Ben fought against his tight grip.

“Who the fuck am I?” Anakin smirked. “I’m Anakin Skywalker.”

The air around him shimmered and Ben gasped as he felt a surge of energy through the Force. It was as if a dam had broken; raw power was pouring out from the man. It hit Ben like a shock wave and he instinctively shrank from it. Somehow, Anakin had hidden his immense power, but it was in full view now and clearly marking him as someone not to be trifled with.

“That’s… that’s impossible,” Ben protested, trying to overcome his awe at the sheer amount of power coming from the man. “I’m an only child.”

This man couldn’t be a Skywalker. His parents had split up after he’d turned to the dark side and Uncle Luke hadn’t had a special someone.

“Still don’t recognize me?” Anakin laughed and let Ben down. “I’m not surprised Luke and Leia never talked about me. I’m not exactly a family-friendly subject.”

“Well then who the hell…” Ben stuttered to a stop.

Now that he thought about it, the vast energy radiating from Anakin felt very familiar. Anakin had also spoken as if he knew every aspect of his life. And what was that bit about Ben finally being able to see him? The realization of who Anakin was crashed into him.

“You’re…” Ben swallowed hard, barely able to believe his eyes. “You’re my grandfather. Darth Vader.”

Anakin’s visage darkened at the mention of his alternate name.

“Yes,” Anakin confirmed. “But I don’t answer to that name anymore.”

“You’re here,” Ben blinked. Disbelief filled him as the shock faded away, turning quickly to anger. “Where the hell have you been the past ten years? I’ve called on you so many times! Where were you when I needed you the most?!”

“I was right there, next to you,” Anakin answered easily.

“No, you weren’t!” Ben argued. “I was alone, with only Snoke and the Knights of Ren to turn to. I could have used your guidance to resist the strong pull of the light.”

“Who did you think it was pulling you towards the light?” Anakin cut in.

Ben gaped, his mouth opening and closing like a fish. He’d never considered that possibility before. But then again, why would Darth Vader encourage someone to embrace the light?

The scent of burning flesh filled the air, prompting both men to look towards the fire pit. The rabbits were aflame and rapidly turning black.

“Fuck!” Ben snarled and ran over.

He snatched the spits from the flames, but it was too late. The rabbits were charred and completely inedible. Would nothing go right today?

“Give it to me,” Anakin gently tugged the spits from his grasp.

A warm wave of energy rippled from him and the black, hardened skin flaked off, leaving behind browned flesh. Ben blinked. He didn’t know that was possible.

“Here,” Anakin handed the spits back to Ben and nudged him towards the ground. “Sit and eat, before you keel over.”

Ben plopped down and bit into a rabbit. The meat was tender and juicy and perfect for his starving stomach. He tore into the meat fiercely as Anakin took a seat again.

“As you know, the empire fell approximately thirty-five years ago. Luke and Leia were the catalysts that brought about its downfall,” Anakin smiled proudly. “Leia was instrumental in turning the rebellion from a ragtag group of misfits into an organized resistance.”

“Yeah, she was really good at inspiring people,” Ben agreed.

“She got that from her mother. Stars know how I managed to get anyone to listen to me,” Anakin chuckled fondly. “Luke was the one who saw the sliver of good still left in me and led me back into the light. Without his influence, I dread to think of how the final battle above Endor would have played out.”

“He must have changed since then,” Ben muttered darkly as he tossed a finished spit and bones into the fire and bit into the next rabbit.

“You’re referring to the night you think he tried to kill you,” Anakin stated.

“I don’t think, I know he tried to kill me,” Ben argued. “I woke up to him standing over me with a lit lightsaber, staring at me as if I were every Sith lord he’d ever faced combined into one person.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Ben,” Anakin consoled him. “You did nothing wrong.”

“Obviously, I did,” Ben said morosely, kicking a rock. “I don’t know what it was, though. I did everything he ever asked of me and more. I ignored the dark whispers in my mind because I knew they were wrong. I was determined to be the best Jedi Knight. I wanted to make Luke and my parents proud.”

“I know, Ben,” Anakin stared at him sadly. “Truth be told, this is all my fault.”

“How do you figure that?” Ben gave a short laugh. Anakin had been dead for thirty-plus years.

“I was a Jedi Knight in the time of the Republic, the old Republic. I should have seen Palpatine for the Sith lord he was and taken care of him before he could rise to power,” Anakin stared unblinking into the flames. “If I hadn’t fallen to the dark side, Luke and Leia would have grown up in a peaceful galaxy, untouched by the corrosive rule of the Galactic Empire. Luke would never have had to face me as Darth Vader. But he did, and he came to know the power of the dark side and the soul-sucking effect it has. Even the slightest acceptance of the dark has a lasting effect on a person; Luke had first-hand experience of this. You may have been able to resist the whispers and false promises from Snoke and Palpatine, but Luke felt those dark threads winding around you and he acted to preempt what he could see coming. He just had no idea his actions would thrust that future into reality.”

“How does that help me now?” Ben asked quietly, throwing the finished spit into the fire. Wood popped and cracked as the flames engulfed the remains of his meal.

“I suppose it doesn’t help with your situation,” Anakin shrugged. “But I hope now you can make peace with your uncle. I know you always put Luke on a pedestal and looked up to him as the epitome of what a hero is. Learning that he was just a mortal man with faults like any person was a swift kick in the face. Luke was a good man, but he wasn’t perfect. It’s time to accept that and move on.”

“I’ll… I’ll try,” Ben hung his head and sighed.

His hatred for his uncle had been the only thing grounding him for years. His anger over the events of that night had given him purpose and meaning for his actions. Without it, what was he supposed to do?

“I know it’s scary, but you have to let go of your anger,” Anakin told him.

“It’s been a part of me for so long,” Ben confided in him. “I don’t know if I can.”

“You have to, Ben. It’s the only thing preventing you from committing to your new life,” Anakin said. “I understand why you’re resisting.”

“I’m not!” Ben glared at him.

“Yes, you are. It’s why you’re here in the jungle with me instead of at the camp with Rey,” Anakin waved his hand around at the jungle. “You’ve reached a crossroads and you’re having trouble coming to terms with your choices. You’re holding on to an identity that you’re familiar with and attempting to make it fit who you are now, like trying to shove a square into a circular hole. But you’ve changed; you’re not Kylo Ren anymore.”

“I’m not Ben Solo, either,” Ben breathed deeply, trying to stem the rising panic threatening to constrict his chest. “I don’t know who I am.”

Anakin was right. He was struggling with his identity. He wasn’t a carefree teenager who wanted to excel at everything and make his heroes proud. But neither was he the jaded, ruthless warrior who’d commanded legions of the First Order. He wasn’t anything anymore. And that scared him.

“I’d rather be Kylo Ren than be no one at all,” Ben admitted.

“You already have a new identity. You just have to accept it,” Anakin said matter-of-factly. “But you haven’t because you’re scared of where it will lead you. Everyone is scared of the unknown, but it will be good for you. Trust in that and let the past die, Ben.”

Ben gave a short laugh at the familiar phrase. It seemed like a lifetime ago that he’d uttered those words to Rey in a ransacked throne room aboard Snoke’s dreadnought. Could he really let it all go and embrace the unknown?

Yes, yes he could. A knot came loose inside him and faded away, releasing its constricting hold on him. A new lightness spread through him and he was almost giddy from it. He thought about his uncle Luke, bracing for the onslaught of anger and anxiety, but none came; he only felt acceptance and sadness. Perhaps he really was ready to move on.

Anakin smiled proudly at him, his blue eyes shimmering with wetness. An odd expression came over his face, as if he couldn’t believe Ben had chosen to move on.

“What would you have done if I couldn’t decide to let my past die?” Ben asked curiously.

“Probably would have called in my backup,” Anakin chuckled and wiped at his eyes.

“Backup?” Ben raised his eyebrows.

“We all agreed I should talk with you first,” Anakin said. “My wife, Padmé, wanted to go next if I couldn’t knock some sense into you.”

“I’d still like to talk with her,” Ben requested, interested in knowing his grandmother. His mother had often told him about the one fuzzy memory she had of her, which hadn’t been much.

“Maybe one day, kid, when she’s calmed down a bit,” Anakin winked at him. “She’s still worked up about how the Skywalker line keeps fucking up the galaxy’s order.”

“I guess that’s a family tradition now,” Ben huffed.

“With any luck, one you can break,” Anakin said hopefully.

“So what do I do now?” Ben asked. There were so many possibilities available to him now that he was free of his past.

“Right now? You get some sleep and then in the morning, you go back to camp and tell Poe what you’ve decided to do with your life.” Anakin advised. “I’ll watch over you until then.”

Ben’s eyelids drooped as a sudden wave of fatigue came over him. It’s been a long day.

“Will I be able to talk with you from now on?” Ben asked curiously.

“Yes, but I wouldn’t expect another heart-to-heart so soon,” Anakin nodded. “It takes a lot of energy to project myself into the physical plane, you know.”

Ben was disheartened to hear that, but at least he’d finally gotten to chance to talk with his grandfather. Granted, it wasn’t the conversation he’d thought it would be, but it had been the one he needed to set him on the right path.

“Thanks for not giving up on me,” Ben said earnestly as he fought the urge to nod off. “I don’t know where I’d be without you.”

“Of course I won’t abandon you. You’re a Skywalker and I’ll always be here for you,” Anakin said as he guided Ben to a mossy patch on the ground near the fire. “Sleep now and know that I’m watching over you.”

As soon as his head hit the springy bed of moss, Ben drifted off, smiling as he felt lighter than he had in years.

-oOoOoOo-

Ben woke up in stages, gradually achieving consciousness. Tiny wisps of light filtered through the tree canopy and tendrils of smoke rose in lazy patterns from the remains of the fire pit. Ben sat up and stretched and looked around for traces of Anakin. Had it all been a dream? Anakin was nowhere to be seen and the only set of footprints in the clearing were his own. Did Force ghosts even leave footprints?

Well, whether it had been real or not, Ben’s resolve to stay and help the resistance was real. He was finally ready to move on from his lives as Ben Solo and Kylo Ren and tackle whatever came his way. Ben stood up and looked around to get his bearings. Which way was the resistance camp? He hadn’t really been paying attention as he ran away. Damn, he really wished he could lose the suppressor cuffs. He hadn’t realized how much he’d depended on the Force on a day-to-day basis.

A slight tugging echoed across his mind, marking a tree with gray bark and gnarled branches. Ben smirked and headed towards it. Once he exited the clearing, he shivered as a gust of cool air wafted over him. It had been rather warm in the clearing where he’d spent the night. His guardian angels must have exerted what power they had on the physical plane to keep him safe and warm. Wind rustled through the trees, shaking the leaves and sounding faintly like voices agreeing with that assessment. Ben smiled and ran forward, trusting they would guide him. Minutes passed and Ben stopped shivering as he gradually warmed up. The crash of the waterfall he’d jumped from sounded in the distance; he headed towards it, the ground becoming covered in a light layer of crunchy frost as he drew closer. The roar of the falls was almost deafening without the dense cover of trees to mask it. Ben gazed up the length of the falls, marveling that he’d jumped it; it’d certainly looked much smaller up there. He glanced around, searching for a path to get back up the falls; he was in no shape to be climbing the rocky drop-off. He’d already done that once this week. Again, he was nudged forward, this time towards a small opening in the cliff. He walked through it and smiled as he saw a more manageable path back to the camp. He climbed up the slope interspersed with large boulders and came out to the side of the lip of the waterfall. The view was spectacular from here. He could see across the top of the canopy to the mountain ranges in the distance. Large birds soared over the land near the horizon, swooping down every now and then. Ben took in a deep breath of the clean, crisp air. Unlike the last time he’d passed through, he had a purpose now; he knew what he had to do.

Ben headed back towards the camp, slowing down as he neared the perimeter. It was still very early in the morning, so no one was awake yet, save the sentry who Ben spotted in a scouting tower. He looked bored and was dozing off. It was almost too easy to sneak past him. Ben wandered through the shipyard as he made his way back to the tent he’d been kept prisoner in. He’d stay there until sunrise and then hope Poe wouldn’t lose his shit when he made his reappearance.

He was walking around a bulky F-class starship when a large gray-hulled ship came into his view. Ben stopped and swallowed hard as he gazed upon the familiar curves of the Millennium Falcon. He had the strongest urge to board it. It’d been so long since he’d walked its corridors and sat in the pilot’s chair. Before he could think too much about the ramifications of boarding a starship while he was still at odds with the resistance, he entered the sequence to lower the ramparts. The ramp whooshed down and he boarded the ship and closed it before anyone could notice.

White lights flickered on, illuminating the worn down flooring and graying walls. Various storage containers were spread haphazardly in a corner. Ben wandered through the silent corridors, just drinking everything in. The Falcon was still a piece of junk, but it’s like he’s come home. He ran his fingers lightly against the panels; he could swear he felt his father’s spirit in the ship’s walls. He smiled as his eyes naturally flicked to all the smuggling compartments as he walked past them. He remembered the games of hide-and-seek he and his father used to play aboard the Falcon. Han had always managed to find him, no matter how secret he thought his hiding place was.

He made his way into the cockpit and sat down in the pilot’s chair. A reminiscent smile rose to his lips as he recalled all the hours he’d spent behind the controls during his childhood and teen years. Some of the best memories he had were of piloting this ship, from his dad and Chewie teaching him how to fly to sneaking off with Poe to test their piloting skills. He wished he could go back to those times, when things had been easier and he hadn’t fucked everything up.

A floor panel creaked behind him and Ben shot out of the seat to confront the person who’d snuck up on him. He howled in pain as his head struck the panels above the pilot’s seat. He’d grown quite a bit since the last time he’d been in here. He rubbed the sore spot as he looked to the cockpit entrance and froze as he saw the intruder was Chewie. The Wookiee stood motionless, merely gazing at him with emotionless yellow eyes. Ben braced himself for a fight or accusatory remarks about how he was trying to escape or that he was the reason Han was dead. He deserved no less.

Chewie walked forward and wrapped his arms around him. Ben resigned himself to death by constriction. But Chewie just hugged him tightly and let out a chain of grunts and growls. Ben’s eyes teared up as the Wookiee expressed his relief that he was okay and that he’d been really worried that Ben would choose not to come back.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Ben pressed his face into Chewie’s warm fur to hide his tears. “Provided Poe will still let me stay and doesn’t keep his promise to shoot me into space.”

Chewie growled fiercely, promising to take Poe in hand if things got out of control. Ben chuckled, almost wishing Poe would make a scene so he could watch Chewie dangle him upside-down by his feet. Ben couldn’t believe Chewie could so easily forgive him and welcome him back into the fold; surely, after the events of the past ten years, the Wookiee would have grown to hate him. It’d certainly felt like it when he’d shot him on Starkiller Base. But the trained marksman had aimed for his stomach instead of his head; Chewie could have easily killed him, but he hadn’t. Maybe… maybe Chewie really did still care for him. But how could he, after Ben had murdered his best friend?

“Chewie, please forgive me-“ Ben started, intending for everything he’d ever done wrong, starting with murdering his father.

Chewie barked sharply, cutting him off. There was no need to apologize. Han went to Starkiller Base to bring Ben back into the light. And now Ben has returned to the light. That’s all there is to it.

“How can you forgive me so easily?” Ben asked in frustration. “I’ve barely begun to forgive myself.”

Chewie wrapped a comforting arm around him and gently guided him out of the cockpit. They walked into the main hold and Chewie pushed him into a seat near the dejarik table. The Wookiee knelt down above a smuggling compartment and accessed the secret latch and pried the covering open. He dropped into the space and rummaged around, growling a little as things fell and scattered around him. A large metal chest was deposited outside the compartment with a heavy clunk and Chewie climbed back out and closed it. He grunted, explaining Han had left it for him. Ben knelt next to the hefty chest examined the security lock as Chewie left the room.

It was an old-fashioned one that smugglers used during the days of the Galactic Empire to thwart imperial stormtroopers; the only way to open it _was_ to pick it. The padlock was blaster-proof and there was a secondary hidden lock that needed to be picked. If he had access to the Force, he’d just direct his energy at the lock and it would spring open. He sighed and looked around for some tool he could use. He spotted a pair of lock picks taped under the dejarik table, probably placed there by his father. He pried them loose with a smile and sat cross-legged in front of the chest as he got to work on the first lock. Chewie came back into the room with a small box and sat down beside him, asking how long it’d been since he’d taken care of himself. Like his hair, for instance.

“My hair?” Ben tugged at his long locks. “What’s wrong with my hair?”

Sure, it was a little longer than he normally kept it, but he hadn’t had time for hair maintenance besides shearing it off with his lightsaber when it grew past his shoulders. He normally didn’t notice it because it’d been bunched up in his helmet.

Chewie grumbled in exasperation about Ben not taking proper care of himself and produced a razor from the box. He gestured for Ben to keep on picking the lock while he cut his hair to a more manageable length.

“Okay, I guess,” Ben shrugged, his heart warmed that Chewie still cared about his health and well-being.

Ben continued manipulating the lock as Chewie used the buzzing razor to snip away at his hair, sawing off several inches. He was taking off a lot, but Ben didn’t mind. It was only hair and it would grow back; besides, it had been a long time since any parental figure in his life had actually given a damn about him.

Ben cursed under his breath as he accidentally moved a pin too far and the entire lock reset. Chewie grunted softly, encouraging him to try again. He started over, making his movements smaller and taking his time. He picked the first lock with no trouble and the device whirred, giving the impression that it was opening. But that was a false sign, designed to throw people off and think the device was faulty when they couldn’t open it. Ben removed one pick and inserted it into the second lock’s secret opening; this one was trickier than the first and had less room for error. After several tense minutes, Ben managed to maneuver the pins into the correct orientation to trigger the unlocking sequence. The internal mechanisms of the lock uncoiled and released its grip on the chest. Chewie huffed proudly and ruffled Ben’s shorn hair as he put the hair-cutting tools back into the box.

Ben opened the chest’s heavy lid and swallowed hard as he saw its contents. The chest was full of his father’s things. There silver and gold medals, faded pictures, and other memorabilia from a bygone era. Emotions filled Ben as he picked up a worn dice pair that he’d loved playing with as a child; he’d been especially attached to these because he could tell they’d meant a lot to his father. There was also a set of black clothes complete with a leather jacket as well as a dark brown hip harness and pair of unused blasters. On top of it all was a holovid card addressed to him. The date and time were marked the day Starkiller Base had been destroyed.

Ben took it with shaking hands and walked to the dejarik table and inserted it into a dusty slot. He and Chewie sat down as a hologram popped up. The view was shaky and slanted and seemed to be pointed up at a blinking control panel.

“Damn it, Chewie. It’s not going to do much good if he can’t see my face,” Han’s voice came over the speakers, his tone laced with amusement.

Chewie’s growls and barks crackled over the sound system, telling Han to give him a moment. He wasn’t familiar with this type of holovid recorder.

The view shifted down, bringing Han Solo’s face into view. Even though the holovid was colored in blue, Ben could see his father’s compassionate brown eyes. Ben swallowed hard against the lump in his throat.

“Hey there, kid. I’m on my way to stop the First Order from using their Starkiller Base, or whatever pretentious name they’re calling it. I know I’m going to run into you so I don’t know why I’m recording a message to you right now.” Han said with a shrug. His expression turned sad, yet determined. “I just can’t shake this feeling that this is my last mission.”

Ben clutched the dice pair in his hand, the edges carving lines into his skin. His father’s intuition had been right; they really hadn’t gotten a chance to speak more than a few sentences before Ben had thrust his lightsaber through him.

“Don’t feel bad if it is,” Han forged ahead, thrumming his fingers against the pilot’s console. “If I cared about my own life over yours, I’d be flying towards the other side of the galaxy right now. I’ve tried to run from my past, to forget how badly I failed my wife and son, but I just can’t run from myself. So I’m doing what I should have done ten years ago. I’m coming to find you and I’m going to turn you back towards the light, no matter what it takes.”

Ben’s breath hitched and he felt like breaking down. This was too much for him to handle.

“If I’m right and I don’t make it, I’ve given Chewie instructions to give you this chest the next time he sees you. I want you to have it. By the time you see this message, I hope you’re once again on the side of the light.” Han said with a hopeful smile. “I have a feeling you will be. Give my love to your mother.”

A racket was raised in the background of the holovid and Han looked over his shoulder as a female voice called out to him. It sounded like Rey.

“Sounds like they’re finally ready,” Han said in amusement, his eyes once again lively. “By the way, I really like that girl. I want Rey to be my daughter-in-law.”

Ben gave a short, choked-off laugh. Even his obstinate father hadn’t been able to resist Rey’s sunny, upbeat personality.

“I better get going,” Han leaned forward slightly and trained his gaze back on him. “Here’s a bit of advice from your old man. Coming back to the light side is going to be tough; the resistance isn’t going to make it easy for you. Just remember, you’re a Solo and a Skywalker; you can handle anything they throw at you,” His lips turned up in a loving smirk. “I love you, Ben, now and always.”

The holovid cut off and the card popped out of the slot. Ben broke down into tears, weighed down from the knowledge of the damage he’d wrought on his family. His father had sacrificed himself to save him, and his mother had soon followed in his footsteps. Why? Why did this have to happen? He cursed himself for not staying to face Luke that fateful night. Perhaps then, all of this could have been avoided.

Chewie consoled him, wrapping him in his huge, furry arms and just holding him as Ben let out all the emotions he’d kept bottled up over the past week. His shoulders shook and he couldn’t hold back the wounded cries that left his mouth. Chewie held him tighter, as if that would stop Ben from shattering into a million pieces.

Eventually, the weight of the world lifted slightly and Ben felt strong enough to lift his head up. Chewie barked softly, saying Han had known what he was doing and hadn’t regretted it for an instant. He rested peacefully now with Leia.

Ben moved back and wiped his face. His eyes were burning, as if he’d cried a whole ocean of tears. He probably had. Chewie rumbled compassionately and chucked him gently under the chin.

“Yeah, I’m okay,” Ben gave him a weak grin.

“SQUEEEEE!”

Ben and Chewie jumped as the high-pitched squeal sounded from the doorway. They looked over to see an orange and white droid rolling away as fast as it could and squalling at its peak pitch.

Chewie grumbled menacingly about annoying droids spying on people. If he got his hands on _that_ one, it was going straight in the lake; it was worse than C3PO.

“I don’t think Poe would be too happy if you did that,” Ben chuckled. “Besides, you’ll never catch it; it’s too fast and wily.”

Chewie huffed and barked softly, telling Ben to get dressed in the new clothes while he confronts Poe and whoever else the droid would bring. He walked away, grabbing his crossbow as he left.

Ben put the holovid card back in the chest and held the clothes up, measuring them. He couldn’t remember his father ever wearing these; in fact, judging by the size, his father had gotten these with him in mind. He donned the new pants and shirt quickly as he heard angry shouts. He marveled at how grimy and disgusting his old clothes were; and damn, that was a lot of holes.

Raised voices carried through the ship to him and he cast a worried glance towards it. It sounded like it was going to be bad. He eyed the brown weapons harness and blasters and decided being armed was better than walking into that confrontation defenseless. He strapped the stiff harness over his right leg and buckled it tight across his hips. He slid one of the blasters into the holster; he didn’t plan on using it, but he wanted it available to him. He tucked the dice pair into his pocket so he wouldn’t lose it. He tossed everything back into the chest except for his old clothes and closed the lid; he shoved it back into the smuggling space, but hesitated in climbing out. He opened the chest again and brushed his fingers over the leather jacket, unable to resist.

He remembered when his father had gotten this jacket. His parents had taken him with them on a diplomatic mission and they’d passed through the market afterwards. Han had been sidetracked by a certain stall featuring high-end leather garments that boasted its goods would last until the last star in this galaxy burned out. Han had gravitated towards this black jacket and insisted on buying it. Leia had been exasperated, saying it wasn’t his style and not even his size! Han had shrugged and kissed her, saying he just had a feeling he needed to buy it. Ben had never seen him wear it for some reason. He pulled it on and it settled over his shoulders nicely. It was a perfect fit; he bet it was his style too.

The shouting escalated and Ben sighed. He supposed he should make an appearance before weapons were drawn. He shut the chest, leaving it unlocked, and hopped out of the space. He re-latched the cover and snatched up his grimy clothes, if they even deserved to be called clothes anymore, and chucked them into the incinerator. Flames engulfed the ruined garments, burning away the last remnants tying him to his past life. He headed to the Falcon’s ramparts, stopping just shy of the threshold so he could hear what the heated discussion was about. He could see Chewie’s form guarding the ramp and Poe’s bottom half.

“He’s not a child, so stop treating him like one!” Poe was shouting at the top of his lungs.

Chewbacca grumbled back, saying they were all acting like children, Poe included. They all need to grow up before he lost his patience.

“What’s going on, Poe? Chewie?”

Ben’s heart clenched as he heard Rey’s voice; she sounded tired and extremely worried. He had a lot of groveling to do to get back in her good graces.

“BB-8 saw movement coming from the Falcon and went to investigate,” Poe informed her.

BB-8 piped up, agreeing with the statement. Chewie growled at it and the droid squeaked and rolled behind Poe’s legs. It peeked out to check if the coast was clear and looked up, going still as it saw him. Ben glared at it, silently warning the droid to be quiet; BB-8 let out a whimper and hid again.

“He saw Ben and came to tell me,” Poe continued. “And now Chewie won’t let me on board to arrest his sorry ass.”

“Because Chewie knows you both will just get into another pissing match, trying to one-up each other,” Rey said and Chewie huffed in agreement. “Is it true, Chewie? Is he back?”

The cautious hope in her voice tore at Ben’s heart. He resolved to never let her down again.

“It’s true. I’m back,” Ben answered and walked down the ramparts.

His vision was obscured by Rey’s form burrowing into him; she clutched at him tightly and she let out a sigh of relief.

“I’m so glad you’re safe,” Rey said into his chest. “Please don’t ever do that again.”

“I promise,” Ben said, wrapping his arms securely around Rey, enjoying the feel of her.

“What the hell happened to you?” Poe asked without bite.

Ben raised an eyebrow and Poe waved his hand, gesturing to his entire person.

“I found some stuff Han left for me,” Ben said simply.

Rey backed out of his hug slightly and her mouth went ajar as she actually processed his appearance.

“You cut your hair?” She sounded aghast at that.

Chewie barked and grunted, saying it was necessary and an improvement.

“I don’t know about improvement,” Ben rebutted, running his hand through the short locks. “But I definitely needed a haircut. It’ll grow back.”

“Well, it does suit you,” Rey said with slightly pink cheeks. She patted his chest lightly. “The new clothes look nice too. You said Han left them for you?”

“Yeah, thankfully my dad’s fashion taste hasn’t devolved over the past decade,” Ben said.

“You found him!” A relieved voice rang out.

Rose and Finn jogged up to join them under the Falcon.

“We thought we’d never find you,” Rose beamed up at him, clearly happy to see him for some reason.

“I decided it was worth coming back and giving this another shot,” Ben admitted.

“That quickly?” Poe said with obvious misgivings.

“I may have talked with someone who persuaded me to come back,” Ben said shortly, not willing to say who that person was. The resistance might not take kindly to the tale of the second-most infamous villain in the cosmos giving his grandson some hard-hitting advice.

“I see…” Poe said, inferring the person was likely a Force ghost. “And?”

“And I’ve decided to stay and…” Ben shuffled in discomfort and forced the unfamiliar words out of his mouth. “Help the resistance defeat the First Order.”

“Just like that?” Poe said in disbelief. “It took you one night to go from ‘I’ll see you in hell’ to ‘I’ll help you’?”

“Don’t push it,” Ben warned him, annoyance rising in him. “I’m really making an effort to be nice here.”

“And we appreciate your willingness to help us,” Rose stepped in before Poe could respond. “Right?” She nudged Poe in the ribs.

“We are going to need all the help we can get to defeat the First Order,” Finn said hesitantly, glancing between Poe and Ben.

Poe gnashed his teeth, biting back something. His gaze flitted between Finn, Rose, and Rey as they all gave him pointed glances. They must have had a talk after he’d run into the jungle. Poe sighed and stepped forward.

“Truce?” Poe proposed, extending a hand to Ben.

“Does this mean you’re not going to shoot me into space or lock me up?” Ben asked. “Because I can guarantee that will make me lash out.”

“I guess not,” Poe pursed his lips. “But you’ll have all three guards on you at all times from now on.”

“One,” Ben countered. He didn’t want three guards breathing down his neck. It would drive him nuts.

“Fine,” Poe breathed out harshly. “Either Captain Ivin, Hils, or Tam will be with you every moment of every day to make sure you don’t make any trouble and complete your tasks on time. And if you try another stunt like yesterday, I’ll make you regret it.”

“Fair enough,” Ben said drily. He reached out and took Poe’s offered hand. “Yes, I agree to a truce.”

“Then welcome to the resistance, Ben Solo,” Poe said.

Ben blinked at the sound of his name. It didn’t sound right. It wasn’t his anymore. In fact… another suited him very well now. Both Anakin and his father had indirectly pointed out the solution to his identity dilemma.

“Skywalker. Call me Ben Skywalker,” Ben insisted.

It was the perfect name to adopt for his new life. Now all he had to do was not mess it up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thanks for reading! What do you think about Anakin's and Han's advice? Will Ben settle down in his new role? Will the resistance fighters give him a hard time? Let me know what you think in the comments! :)
> 
> Also, never fear! I haven't abandoned this fic! I've just been really behind in updating it. I plan to get the next chapter out in a more timely fashion. :)


	4. Fish Out of Water

Ben tried to compose his thoughts as he and Rey walked through the base towards the main clearing which was dominated by the outdoor canteen. Poe had ordered them to wait there until he could rally Ben's guards. Ben's thoughts were racing a mile a minute as he tried to determine the best way to ask for Rey's forgiveness for running off into the jungle. It had been bad form on his part, no matter how much he'd felt the need to be alone. They entered the clearing and sat down on a long wooden bench.

"Rey, I'm sorry I-"

"Ben, I need to-"

Ben paused in his apology as Rey started speaking at the same time.

"Go ahead," Ben urged her.

"No, you go ahead." Rey shook her head.

Ben took in a deep breath. He hoped she would understand.

"I wanted to… apologize for running off," He started, interlinking his fingers in his lap as he spoke. "It's not that I don't want to try to fit in here, I do, but it's one thing to say I'll try and another to actually do it. I expected everyone to hate me and try to harm me, but I didn't expect it to affect me so much. And with the cuffs on, I'm powerless in ways I haven't been before... ever. I couldn't handle it, so I ran."

"I understand, Ben," Rey laid her hands on his, meeting his gaze strongly. "And you're not the one who needs to apologize, I am."

Ben noticed for the first time that Rey looked extremely guilty and ashamed.

"I should have noticed how you felt, being among your former enemies," Rey shook her head sadly. "I've spent little over a year with these people and we've grown close through all the struggles and strife. We're more like family than friends. I can almost forget the years I spent scavenging desert wastelands for worthless junk and competing for resources with the other scavengers. But that's clearly not the case for you."

"No, I knew quite a few of them before I turned to the dark side," Ben acknowledged, still stunned that she was feeling more guilty about this than him.

"Right, so it must be so hard for you to be here among them again. I should have predicted how you would feel, but I've been so blindsided by my happiness to be with my friends again after Exogol," Rey gazed up at him with remorse in her eyes. "Can you ever forgive me?"

"There's nothing to forgive," Ben said, though he was touched by her concern for him.

Rey breathed a huge sigh of relief and the tension she'd been holding in her shoulders bled away.

"How are you feeling today?" Rey asked, looking over him critically.

"Better," Ben admitted. "None-the-worse for spending the night in the jungle. I'm ready to help the resistance any way I can."

"Did you really change your mind overnight?" Rey asked with a doubtful expression.

"I almost didn't," Ben said. "But after a pep talk from the ghost of my grandfather, I've gained a new perspective on things."

"Your grandfather?" Rey's eyebrows turned downward as she processed his statement. "You mean... Darth Vader?"

"Yes. Anakin really has a way of convincing people," Ben smirked in remembrance. "I can see where my mother got her fiery spirit. Chewie also gave me a holovid my dad made before... well, that also convinced me I need to stay. I really am resolved to helping the resistance destroy what's left of the First Order. It will keep you safe... and help atone for my past actions."

"I'm glad to hear that, Ben," Rey smiled happily. "Just know that you're not alone in this. I'll be by your side every step of the way."

"Thanks for not giving up on me," Ben whispered.

"I'll never give up on you," Rey vowed, leaning in close. "I should think everything I've done in the last year proves that."

She pressed her lips to his, her hands coming up to embrace him. Ben went stiff in her arms, overcome with shock at the gesture. Rey pulled back a little, a questioning look in her bright hazel eyes.

"What is it?"

"I'm just... I'm just a little shocked," Ben stuttered out, his brain still short-circuiting from having her so close to him. "First kiss and all."

"What do you mean?" Rey frowned, tilting her head to the side. "We kissed on Exogol after you saved me."

"Did we?"

Ben cast his mind back, but no such memory came forth. He remembered the grueling climb out of the pit and scrambling to Rey to save her. Nothing but a blank after that until he woke up here.

"You must have bumped your head or maybe it was an effect of the drain on your life force from saving me," Rey said with concern.

She ran her fingers through his hair, searching for bumps she might have missed while healing him. It was very distracting and causing all sorts of interesting reactions in him. His gaze focused on her pale, pink lips, which were turned downward in an adorable frown.

"Well, since I don't remember our first kiss, maybe we should recreate it," Ben suggested, his heart beating faster in anticipation.

"Okay," Rey smiled shyly, her cheeks turning red.

She laid her palms on his cheeks and tugged him close. Their lips met in a sweet kiss. Ben was lightheaded with the pleasure of having her so close to him. They pulled back, the puffs of air they were exhaling visible in the cold, morning air.

"What do you think?" Rey smiled mischievously.

"It's nice," Ben smiled as a balloon of happiness welled within him. "Do it again."

Rey chuckled and smashed their mouths together again. The kiss started out slow, just a firm press of the lips, but quickly turned hungry and exploratory. She nibbled at his lips and he gave her access; their tongues danced as they explored each other's mouths and Rey pressed herself closer, molding their bodies together. Ben groaned in pleasure as Rey's hands ventured down his back, exploring his muscles.

"Ahem," Poe's unamused voice cut into their bubble.

Rey squeaked and jumped off his lap; she glared at Poe for startling her. Ben composed himself, pushing away all emotions. He couldn't believe he'd let himself be so vulnerable in public, and in front of Poe, no less.

"If you're quite done, I've smoothed things over with Captain Ivin."

Poe was standing there with an impassive Captain Ivin and the two other guards.

"I thought we agreed you would only post one guard on me at a time," Ben grumbled, pissed off that Poe was already violating their agreement.

"That's still the agreement," Poe affirmed, though he didn't look happy about it. "But I want all three by your side for mealtimes. I don't want a situation like yesterday happening again."

"Fine." Ben grunted. As much as he wanted to forget, he was more defenseless now.

"After first meal, you're going to spend the first half of the day at the medical tent, sorting supplies. After mid-day meal, you'll spend the rest of the day helping our mechanics with the starships. If you don't mess up again, I'll consider asking you for information we can use to harm the First Order. Is that clear?"

"Crystal." Ben muttered.

"Great," Poe replied. "Rey, can I speak with you?"

"Of course," Rey said.

Poe nodded and stalked away, obviously not wanting to be in Ben's presence any longer than necessary. Not that Ben blamed him; he felt the same too.

"Don't worry. Today will be different," Rey assured him with a hopeful smile. "Just call me if you need me. Despite the cuffs, our bond is still active."

Ben was grateful that their bond hadn't been completely muted; it was still very much intact, if slightly dampened.

"I will," He promised, though he didn't expect any problems today. He wasn't doubting his ability to stay with the resistance anymore.

"Okay, I'll see you at mid-day meal."

Rey leaned forward and pecked him on the lips, bringing a smile to Ben's face. She nodded to Captain Ivin and the guards and bounded off after Poe.

Ben and the guards eyed each other silently, waiting for the other to break the silence. Captain Ivin eventually relented.

"I trust we aren't going to have any more problems?" He asked delicately with a warning glance in his eyes.

"What would you do if I did run off again or steal a starship?" Ben challenged him.

The Selonian guard growled at him, baring her teeth as her fur spiked up.

"Sertali," Ivin motioned for her to stand down.

The other guard remained silent, but gripped the blaster in his holster tightly. His solemn brown eyes were trained on him, just waiting for him to make another stupid mistake.

Ben sighed. They were off to a great start. He couldn't wait to see how the rest of the day panned out.

-oOoOoOo-

Captain Ivin escorted Ben to the medical tents after they ate. He was miffed that the captain had confiscated his blaster, but it was probably for the best. He was on high-alert after all the stink-eyes and mumbled threats he'd gotten; where the hell did they get off on threatening him? Was he really that despicable? Suddenly, his emotions took a lighter turn, becoming calmer. Ben spun around and glared at Ivin. The Zeltron had just used his abilities to influence his emotions! Ivin gazed back with an eyebrow raised, his blue eyes unrepentant.

"Never. Do. That. Again," Ben snarled. If he didn't have these blasted cuffs on, he would have been able to prevent the Zeltron from manipulating his emotions.

"Oh, so you wanted to continue that spiraling downturn into anger and self-pity?" Ivin replied, not at all sorry. "We all saw what happened the last time your emotions took a turn to the negative side. I won't let that happen again. The next time, you might actually hurt someone. You don't want that on your conscience and neither do I."

"You have no idea what you're talking about," Ben said, although he knew Ivin was probably right.

"Keep telling yourself that, Ben."

Ivin started walking again and Ben fell in beside him, still mildly angry at the man.

They walked into the infirmary, which was empty save for Larma and a few medics Ben didn't know. The medics fell silent, looking at Ben with apprehension as he stepped over the threshold.

"Greetings, Commander D'Acy," Ivin greeted Larma with a slight bow. "Mr. Skywalker and I are reporting for duty."

"Mixa, how many times do I have to tell you to call me Larma?" Larma smiled and shook her head good-naturedly as she came over to greet them.

"At least once more, commander," Ivin grinned at her, his red hair turning lighter and showing his happy state of mind.

"My protégé is incorrigible, even during informal occasions," Larma winked at Ben before turning serious, her eyes laced with concern. "How are you doing, Ben?"

"I'm fine," Ben replied curtly.

"Yes, well, I'm glad that you've returned," Larma said. “I was worried for you.”

An awkward silence filled the air. He was so out of practice doing small-talk.

"What task is assigned to us today, commander?" Ivin restarted the conversation.

"I need you both to take inventory of the medical supplies we currently have in stock and make note of what needs to be replenished," Larma explained readily. "I have no doubt we'll be heading into a skirmish with the First Order very soon. We need to be ready for it."

"We'll get right on it," Ivin nodded and headed for the cabinets and bins in an adjoining tent.

Larma caught Ben's arm as he made to follow.

"Let me know if you need anything, okay?" She said earnestly.

"Okay," Ben mumbled, still completely unused to adults caring for him.

He quickly headed over to the other tent where Ivin was already counting the gauze strip packages.

"Here, why don't you start with the laser suture kits?" Ivin handed him a holoreader with the information already pulled up. Ben searched around for the materials and knelt to count them. An hour passed in silence as they took inventory of the base's medical supplies. Ben was amazed at how much there was. They'd already accounted for hundreds of items and there were still many more boxes to go through. He'd already found a few items that needed to be restocked.

"Making a mess already, Kylo?" An obnoxious voice cut into their space.

They looked up from their work to see Winn standing over them with his arms crossed.

"That’s not my name," Ben said stiffly. What was it with this guy?

"Whatever, _Kylo_ ," Winn rolled his eyes. "Are you serious, Ivin? You're letting the traitor fiddle with our medical supplies? Has everyone lost their minds? He's probably sabotaged the whole batch by now."

Winn kicked a container with respirators, knocking it into another box with resuscitation devices, spilling the equipment all over the floor.

"Fuck off, Bris," Ivin returned evenly. "You're the one who's making a mess of things. Shouldn't you be over in the fleet yard, pissing Poe off?"

"I'm on my break," Winn said petulantly.

"Well, then go bother someone else," Ivin ordered him. "We're busy."

Winn grumbled and threw Ben a dark look and stalked out, but not before kicking over the container Ben was working on.

"I'm going to kill him," Ben snarled, dark emotions swirling inside him. He didn't even try to suppress it.

"No, you're not," Ivin said calmly, not even blinking at the overtly stated threat.

Ben's murderous rage transformed into calm indifference in the space of a few seconds. He turned to glare at Ivin.

"Stop that," He warned once more.

"Mhmm," Ivin started putting the scattered equipment back into their respective boxes.

After a few moments, Ben stooped to help him.

"You don't seem the type to cuss," Ben said, needing to break the silence yet also curious about Ivin's choice of words.

From what Ben had seen of him so far, Ivin had a firm lock on his emotions. He definitely wouldn't have gotten angry even to swear at Winn, as obnoxious as he was.

"In my experiences dealing with Winn, I've learned he only backs down to people who stand their ground and don't let him bully them," Ivin shrugged, organizing the resuscitation devices into neat rows. "And that usually means using unsavory language. This was a fairly simple custom to adapt to."

"Need some help?"

Ben's head shot up and he frowned as one his guards who was supposed to be off-duty, Azio or something like that, cleaned up the mess Winn had made near the tent entrance.

"Poe agreed to only give me one baby-sitter at a time," He growled.

"I like to think I’m more than that. Besides, I'm off-duty," The brown-eyed guard said with a carefree swipe of a hand. "I usually spend my free time down by the lake, but after I escorted Sertali here, I thought I should stick around. Larma is looking frazzled with all this work to be done, so I've volunteered my time."

"Really," Ben muttered in disbelief. That was the lamest fucking excuse he'd ever heard.

"What happened to Sertali, Aarzio?" Ivin asked, looking concerned.

"Nothing major, captain," Sertali said in a throaty voice. She stepped into the room, gingerly holding her tail at an uncharacteristically downward angle. "I think I've sprained my tail. Could you take a look at it? The commander’s tests were inconclusive."

"Of course," Ivin jumped up and helped her take a seat on a nearby table.

He gently prodded the furry length and cautiously flexed it a little. Ben eyed her suspiciously as she didn't even wince or cry out. Sertali was looking right at him, so he could tell she wasn't in any pain.

"Ouch," She said in a deadpanned tone.

Ben had to keep from rolling his eyes. And to think he'd thought Aarzio's excuse had been sub-par. The Selonian was clearly faking her injury.

"It looks like you'll be fine," Ivin said professionally, but Ben could detect a hint of laughter in his voice. "Keep the pressure off it for a few days."

"Yes, captain," Sertali nodded. She grabbed a holoreader from the table. "What box are we sorting next?"

"I can't believe this," Ben grumbled darkly. Was this their idea or Poe's?

"The captain has ordered me to stay still and heal," Sertali reasoned as she directed Aarzio to the next container. "There's no reason for me to go to my tent while I'm capable of being useful right here."

"Perfectly reasonable," Ivin nodded in all seriousness.

They stared at Ben, daring him to call them on their bluff. Ben muttered darkly to himself and pulled up another box, this one full of packaged bandage strips. Poe had probably put them up to this to circumvent their agreement; if he complained, Poe would just throw it back in his face that he wasn't technically violating his promise. There was only one guard on-duty, and the others had just ‘happened’ to be close by.

Hours passed as they worked their way through the containers. Ben remained silent and aloof as the others struck up conversations. He tuned it out as he didn't want to take part; he was still angry at them. A bell rang in the distance, signaling mid-day meal was ready.

"Thank goodness," Ben put the lid back on the containers and tossed his holoreader onto the table.

"Oh, good," Sertali said with a toothy smile. "I'm starving. What do you think they've prepared today?"

"You ask that every day, Sertali," Aarzio gave a long-suffering groan. "It's always the same: fried bird and random vegetation they find in the jungle."

"They do check the food we eat for toxins," Ivin said reassuringly as he neatly stacked the containers out of the way. "It's perfectly safe to ingest."

"Whatever," Aarzio griped as he led the way towards the clearing. "I just wish we could eat something else."

They joined the throng of people heading in the same direction. When the closest people noticed Ben's presence, they stepped away, giving him a wide berth. Ben couldn't help but feel sad or ashamed... or something to that effect. He brushed off the emotions before he could really process it. It didn't matter what he thought or felt about the resistance's reaction to him.

Aarzio turned out to be right about what they'd be served for mid-day meal: fried bird and some thick, crunchy orange leaves and a purple object that looked similar to a sweet pepper. The food servers had almost not given him anything, looking half-petrified when they saw him standing in line before them. One of the young ladies dishing out the vegetables almost passed out when he politely - at least, he'd thought he'd been - asked for a mix of the odd vegetation. His guards were waiting for him as he exited the line. Their trays were filled with different proportions of food. Aarzio's tray was a normal mix of meat and vegetables while Ivin's plate was heaped high with orange and purple. And Sertali... well, her plate was completely devoid of any vegetation; in fact, it looked like she had Ivin's helping of the fried bird and had given him all her vegetables in return.

"Vegetables do not agree with me," Sertali explained as she noticed his odd look at her plate.

Ben smirked before he could help himself. How many times had he used that excuse on his parents while trying to get out of eating some weird-looking vegetable?

"Let's eat," Ivin directed. "We need to report to the shipyard in thirty minutes."

"Oh, that's going to be fun," Aarzio chuckled as he sat down at a half-full table. "I always enjoy getting my ear torn off by the chief."

"Don't be rude," Sertali flicked his ear as she sat down, uncaring of her tail's position; apparently, it had miraculously recovered. "Baso is the best engineer the resistance has."

"I didn't say otherwise," Aarzio rubbed his ear soothingly.

Ivin sat down, giving Ben the end of the bench to sit on. He was sort of grateful for that. He didn't think he'd be welcome to sit next to the resistance fighters sitting opposite of Ivin. The people at the other end of the table eyed him wearily as he sat down and started eating. Ben tried not to notice their stares.

"I've lost my appetite," said one of the fighters, an older man with yellow-striped hair. He threw down his utensils and picked up his tray with his scarred hands. "I'm going to go somewhere my stomach won't turn while I eat."

He walked away without a backward glance. As one, the rest of the fighters grabbed their trays and followed him, giving Ben nasty looks as they did. Ben's stomach dropped and he felt slightly sick; he put his fork down and just stared at his plate. Damn these pesky emotions; if he still had access to the Force, he'd be able to closet them in the back of his mind and ignore them forever.

"I thought those dried-up sticks would never leave," Aarzio muttered and put his long legs up to rest on the open bench opposite him. "Don't take their actions to heart, Ben. They're just scared of the First Order."

"So they're scared of me," Ben said.

"Your face was what we pictured when we thought of the First Order," Ivin explained carefully, poking at the fleshy purple ball on his plate. "Among many others, of course, like Hux or Snoke. It'll take them a while, but they'll come around."

"Well, excuse me if I don't hold my breath," Ben muttered as he resumed stuffing pieces of fried bird in his mouth.

It tasted nice, but he barely noticed. He glowered as he ate his meal, cursing all the mistakes he'd made in his life that had led him here.

"Ben!" Rey's chipper voice sounded close by.

Ben put on a smile as she squeezed in between him and Ivin.

"How was your morning?" Rey kissed him on the cheek and looked at him expectantly.

Ben felt his anxiety fade away by the mere proximity of her sunny personality; his smile instantly became less fake.

"It was fine," Ben shrugged. "Sorted boxes."

"Mr. Bris did accost Ben again," Ivin supplied as he chowed down all his vegetables. "I would speak to Poe about it."

"Accost?" Rey's eyes widened in anxiety.

"Ivin is exaggerating," Ben said. "He was just being annoying, knocking over everything."

"I'll speak to Poe about Winn," Rey promised in earnest. "We warned him after he assaulted you and Rose yesterday, but he must think that only applies to physical attacks."

"It's nothing I can't handle," Ben assured her. He'd done it before and he could do it again.

"As much fun as the last time was, I don't think we should encourage another instance," Aarzio said as he polished off his plate. "We don't want everyone thinking they can attack you whenever they want."

Ben grunted and moodily kept eating.

"I'm going running after I check in with Rose about our communications network," Rey said. "Would you like to come along?"

Ben perked up at that; the jungle was peaceful and clear of antagonistic resistance fighters. It'd be the perfect way to unwind.

"I'm afraid not, commander," Ivin said politely as he checked his watch. "We have less than ten minutes to report to the shipyard. We'll be putting in a full shift and won't be done until final meal."

Ben sighed in disappointment. There was always something, wasn't there?

"Oh, well I can reschedule then," Rey said after a moment of consideration. "How about before final meal then, Ben?"

"Poe didn't say this was allowed in our briefing," Sertali frowned, her lips rising up and baring her sharp teeth. 

"Give the guy a break, Sertali," Aarzio huffed. "What's he going to do out there in the wild?"

Sertali growled in response and glared at Ben, evidently remembering how he'd outrun her.

"I'll clear it with the general," Ivin replied diplomatically.

"We're going regardless of what Poe says," Rey interjected vehemently. "If he disapproves, you can tell him he's being a moron."

"Yes, commander," Ivin nodded seriously. He stood up with his tray. "I'll go see him now. Aarzio, can you take Ben to the shipyard?"

"Sure thing, Mixa," Aarzio nodded in the affirmative. "You ready, Ben?"

"Yes," Ben tossed his fork and knife down onto the bird bones.

"I'll see you later," Rey promised, leaning up to give him a kiss.

Ben had to lean down a little to accommodate her. His heart felt lighter as she gave him a quick kiss on the lips. Even the groans of disgust and muttering around him couldn't dampen his rising spirits.

"Alright, let's get going," Aarzio said as he watched them in amusement. "Catch you later, Sertali."

The Selonian grunted at him as she continued devouring the bird meat, picking the bones clean, and cracking them open to suck out the marrow.

Ben followed him as they exited the clearing. He deftly avoided multiple people who tried to trip him as they wound their ways through the tables. Some glared at him while others avoided his gaze altogether and parents shielded their children from him. Ben snorted. He didn't have a problem with children unless they got in his way; it was the adults in his life who'd always wronged him.

They made it through the maze of tables, scraped their leftovers into a rubbish bin, and dropped their trays into a bucket of soapy, steaming water. Droids methodically picked up the dirty items and washed them thoroughly.

He quickened his pace to keep up with Aarzio as he walked through the base. Aarzio shoved someone out of the way when it looked like the man was coming to attack him; the guard put his hand on his blaster and glared at the person until they sidled away.

"Why are you so willing to defend me against your friends?" Ben wondered as they continued on their way.

"It's my job," Aarzio replied. "But let's be clear. If I'd met you on the battlefield before now, I would have blown your brains out."

"You would have tried," Ben shot back. With his full abilities, he could stop blaster shots in mid-air.

"And failed. I know," Aarzio rolled his eyes. "In all seriousness, I don't have a problem being on your side because I understand you."

"Really?" Ben said in disbelief. No one could understand him... except maybe Rey and Anakin.

"Really. I lost my family when I was a teenager. That's how the First Order got me to join them," Aarzio explained, his eyes turning sad yet angry at the same time. "I was a pilot for them. It was the only thing that made my life make sense anymore. I defected about a year ago and joined the resistance."

"Like Finn did," Ben noted. Aarzio's story did resonate with him. Being a leader in the First Order had given his own life some meaning. They had wanted him when his own family and friends hadn't.

"Yeah, but my exit was nothing flashy," Aarzio shrugged. "I was out on a mission and I never went back."

"I'm sure Poe had something to do with Finn's abrupt exit," Ben said with a smirk. "He always had a flair for the dramatics."

The two had taken off without clearance from the hangar with the TIE-fighter still attached to the harness. Ben had been too busy trying to process the stupidity of the pilot and they'd managed to escape.

"It makes for a good story," Aarzio shrugged as they stepped into an area filled with starships of all makes and sizes. "Welcome to the shipyard, also known as Baso's kingdom. The chief rules supreme here... no pun intended."

Ben grunted at the not-so-subtle jab, intentional or not.

"TAM! YOU'RE LATE!" A female voice bellowed across the shipyard. A short, stout woman dressed in rough-woven clothing covered with dirt and grease-stains stomped up to them. She got in Aarzio's face, dragging him down to her level to do so.

"Only by a few minutes, chief," Aarzio replied calmly, not fighting her grip.

"Try five, fly-boy," She retorted back. "That's time you'll spend making up at the end of the shift."

"Yes, ma'am," Aarzio quipped back.

"Stop calling me ma'am! I'm not that old," She ordered as she released him. She turned her gaze to Ben and examined him from head to toe. "Who's this and why is he in my shipyard?"

"This is Ben Skywalker. Poe has assigned him to work with the mechanics for the evening shifts," Aarzio introduced him. He gestured grandly to the woman. "Ben, this is Baso Jeps. She's the chief engineer and overlord of all those who step foot in her territory."

"Shut your trap, Tam," Baso snapped at him. She appraised Ben curiously. "Skywalker..." She muttered under her breath.

Ben could tell the moment she realized who he was. Her eyes hardened and her hands curled into fists.

"I see," Baso said. Her jaw shifted as she gritted her teeth.

Ben wondered how close she was to shooting him or ordering him to get out of her sight.

"You better not expect any special treatment here, Skywalker," Baso said curtly. "I don't waste my breath on time-wasters."

"I'm not here to-" Ben started to explain.

"Tam, show him to the engine deconstruction area," Baso cut him off, turning to face Aarzio. "I don't want to see or hear a peep from either of you until those parts are sparkling clean! Understood?"

"Aye-aye, chief," Aarzio nodded.

Baso hmphed and stomped away to yell at some mechanics working on a battered dual engine that looked like it'd seen better days.

"That went well," Aarzio exhaled in relief.

"We must have different definitions of well," Ben muttered.

"It counts as a win if she doesn't kill you right off the bat," Aarzio shrugged and tugged him towards the other end of the fleet.

He stopped when they reached boxes and boxes of engine parts packed with grime and covered in dust.

"Let's get to it," Aarzio said brightly. He handed Ben a pristine cloth and a spray bottle filled with amber liquid.

"We have to clean all of these?" Ben asked, aghast. "In just a few hours?"

"Yes, or Baso will have our balls," Aarzio nodded, completely serious.

He took a spiky gear out of the pile and sprayed it with the liquid; the dirt and grime came off the part as he wiped it with the cloth.

"We clean and sort at the same time. Put the good parts into one bin and the damaged parts into another," Aarzio explained, showing the damaged gear part to Ben before tossing it into a box marked 'Fix These'. "You might want to take off your jacket." He nodded towards Ben's top layer. "This job can get pretty messy."

Ben sighed and shrugged off the leather jacket. He placed on top of a nearby container they wouldn't be using and sat on the ground and got to cleaning. Minutes passed as they sprayed the different parts and sorted them. Soon, their rags turned black from all the grime they'd taken off. Some of the mess had even gotten on Ben's clothes as Aarzio had warned; thankfully, he was wearing mostly black so it didn't show up as much. At least the engine parts looked serviceable again afterward. Some of the items were entirely caked with rust, mostly the nuts and bolts; Aarzio directed him to toss those parts into a small bin filled with clear water. Ben dropped a bunch of them into the bin and yelped as the liquid splashed up and landed on him, burning and sizzling; that was definitely not water! His skin itched and red splotches formed all over his forearms.

"Careful," Aarzio snorted in amusement. "You don't want that stuff getting on you. It's good for metal, not so much for anything organic."

"You could have said something," Ben growled at him as he wiped the droplets off with a rag.

"None of the newbies believe the veteran mechanics when it's explained to them," Aarzio explained before Ben's temper could explode. "They usually dunk their hands in it or try to drink it. I'm just saving you the embarrassment of doing that in front of the chief."

"Thanks," Ben replied sarcastically.

"No problem," Aarzio smiled brightly and threw more rusted parts into the bin.

Ben jumped back as more droplets splattered everywhere. The grass beneath the container hissed as the liquid hit it. Ben muttered insults under his breath as he sat back down and continued cleaning and sorting through his pile.

"Introduce him to the sparkling water yet?" Ivin's even-toned voice asked as he stepped around a Z-95 Headhunter and came into view. 

"He discovered it himself, Mixa," Aarzio said innocently.

"Aarzio," Ivin sighed. "You're supposed to inform new recruits about the diluted acid mix we use to clean engine parts faster."

"And I did," Aarzio claimed.

"I'm sure," Ivin rolled his eyes. "How are you faring, Ben? Have you met Baso yet?"

"Yes," Ben said.

"She barely spoke a word to him," Aarzio reported as he placed some coiled wires into the 'Use These' bin. "Didn't raise her voice or order him around."

"I didn't expect anything less," Ivin stated, but he looked slightly worried. "I'm sure she'll come around. She usually does."

"It took her six months with me," Aarzio supplied. "What are you doing here, anyway?"

"I came to check up on you two before I went on my break," Ivin rolled up his sleeves and picked up a rag and a spray bottle; he sat down next to Ben and grabbed a fuel injection nozzle. "But I think I'll stick around and help out. Baso probably wants these engine parts cleaned before sundown."

"You guessed it right in one," Aarzio nodded.

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!"

Everyone jumped as Baso's voice rang throughout the fleet; even halfway across the shipyard, she was perfectly capable of making herself heard. Ben saw some mechanics maintaining a nearby starship scuttle away to take cover.

"DOES THAT LOOK LIKE THE FUCKING SPARK PLUG?!"

Sertali raced into the engine deconstruction area to join Ben and the two guards, her tail whipping back and forth.

"Who is she ripping into now?" Ivin asked the excited Selonian, not at all surprised to see her.

"One of the new recruits, Ayanin Yala," Sertali supplied. She reached into her belt and grabbed some small, rectangular bronze bars from a pouch. "I'll bet ten creds it goes on for another five minutes until the poor girl runs out of here crying."

"I DON'T CARE IF THAT'S WHAT YOU USED TO DO ON MANAAN!"

"I say it takes less than three minutes," Aarzio tossed his own ten credits onto the pile in the grass.

"Are you seriously betting on this?" Ben asked, incredulously.

"Baso does this almost every day," Ivin shrugged and placed his ten credits on top of the others. "I say three minutes, but Yala stands her ground."

"Bold choice," Aarzio complimented him as he tossed a rusted bowl-shaped disk into the acid. A white cloud spewed out of the bin as the part soaked in the liquid.

"ARE YOU FUCKING CHALLENGING MY ORDERS?!"

"Oooh, you might just be right, Mixa," Aarzio craned his head towards the loud confrontation, but the starships blocked everything from sight.

"I usually am," Ivin replied modestly, rubbing grime off of a particularly dirty nozzle.

"What usually happens when Baso starts yelling at someone like this?" Ben couldn't help joining in; the energy was intoxicating and the focus was off of him.

"Well, the last time Baso got this mad, she almost castrated the poor fellow. She actually grabbed some cable cutters and chased him around," Aarzio said, his lips pursing as he tried to recall the incident. "I think it was Bosh who fucked up, right?"

"No, it was one of the younger mechanics," Ivin corrected him.

"It was Jecob Wyan," Sertali remembered fondly. "He mixed up the hypermatter mixes and tried to put the unrefined batch into the engine tanks. He could have blown up the fleet."

"THIS IS MY SHIPYARD AND YOU'LL FOLLOW MY INSTRUCTIONS!"

"What's Baso's plan this time?" Ben asked, starting to smile at the friendly banter. "She can't exactly castrate Yala."

"You underestimate Baso's rage," Sertali said sagely. "Where there's a will, there's a way."

"Baso is capable of a lot of things when she's angry," Ivin agreed. "Though in this case, I believe it'd be more in a spiritual sense."

"GET BACK TO WORK AND DON'T LET IT HAPPEN AGAIN!"

"Oh, I think it's ended," Aarzio perked up and checked his watch. "Approximately three minutes. Sorry, Sertali. What about Yala?"

Sertali's ears shifted to point in the direction all the shouting had taken place. "I don't hear any crying or running. Yala survived."

"We should really stop betting against each other," Aarzio sighed, pushing the thirty creds over to the victorious captain. "Mixa always wins."

"That's because I always pick the most boring outcome," Ivin smiled as he slid the money into the pouch on his waist.

"Well, one can wish for a little excitement," Aarzio muttered.

Footsteps sounded outside their little bubble, loud stomping ones.

"Oh, fuck," Aarzio cursed and lunged for a bin. He took out a large cone flaked with black specks and furiously scrubbed at it.

Baso appeared between the starships with a murderous expression on her face. Her muscles rippled under her shirt as she clenched and unclenched her fists. Her gaze narrowed in on Sertali sitting with them.

"Hils! What are you doing?" Baso barked at the Selonian. "You're supposed to be reassembling the Kayzian interceptor cores, not cavorting with your friends!"

"I was just on my way back to it, chief," Sertali rose gracefully and ran off.

"Run faster!" Baso yelled after her as Sertali's tail disappeared around a starship. "It's not going to assemble itself!"

She grumbled to herself and turned back to grill new victims. Ben swallowed hard as she stomped over to stand above him. She was no Snoke or Palpatine, but she was formidable in her own right.

"WHAT'S THIS, SKYWALKER?" Baso bellowed in his ear, making it ring. She jabbed a finger at the half-clean gyroscope in his lap; he'd stopped working on it when she'd started yelling at Yala. "THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!"

"I'm still working on it," Ben clenched his fists, trying to keep his hackles down. He didn't want to start yelling at the woman. They might end up killing each other.

"WELL WORK HARDER!" Baso demanded. "I WAS SERIOUS WHEN I SAID I WANTED THIS ALL DONE TODAY!"

She walked off without waiting for a response, glaring at all of them as she disappeared between an X-wing and the Headhunter.

"Good job, Ben," Ivin complimented him.

Ben whipped his head around and stared at Ivin incredulously.

"For what?"

He couldn't fathom what he'd done to earn that.

"For not losing your temper with Baso," Ivin replied as he sedately cleaned another part. "You actively pushed away your impulse to rise to her taunting. That's progress."

"If you say so," Ben shrugged and chucked the newly cleaned part into the 'Fix These' bin.

He turned his gaze to the containers and almost groaned at the contents. They were still full of dirty engine parts. Had they cleaned anything? He looked in distaste at the black and brown sludge covering the lower layers.

"Can't we just dump all of this into the acid?" Ben pleaded with his guards.

"Sparkling water doesn't work on grime and dirt, just rust," Aarzio shook his head. He grabbed a part dripping with black sludge and waved it at Ben. "How do you think this got covered in guck? Some moron tossed a bunch of parts into the acid thinking it would help. And now we have to deal with it."

"It could be worse," Ivin said as he delicately picked out the small bolts, nuts, and washers and placed them on his rag. "You could be doing this alone."

Ben exhaled through his nostrils, pushing back words he knew he'd regret. He gamely grabbed a part and got to work, wrinkling his nose at the putrid odor emanating from it. Why had he agreed to this again?

-oOoOoOo-

The sun was low on the horizon and Ben was tired and getting pissed off. His hands were raw and sore from all the cleaning he'd done; the healing paste covering them helped a little, but not much. Ben wasn't used to doing manual labor anymore. He'd forgotten how much he hated it.

Baso had kept her promise and made them stay an extra five minutes after the shift ended, ignoring Aarzio's mock groans and complaints. She'd let them leave after exactly five minutes. Their stomachs were rumbling as they entered the cantina, which was bustling with resistance fighters catching up and laughing at each other’s jokes.

Ivin took the lead as they got in line to receive food and Aarzio stood behind him. Ben glared at the people who dared to jeer at him as he passed. It was becoming quite the norm. The food servers were the same ones from mid-day meal. The young woman from before didn't pass out, but it was a close call. She squeaked and her angelic green eyes grew huge as she swayed in place; her fellow server nudged her and told her to concentrate. She listened to him and carefully inched her ladle toward Ben to shakily give him a helping of some springy looking leaves drenched in cooking oil. He thanked her, ignoring the whimper, and walked on to get a serving of bird, roasted instead of fried this time; it must be the only thing they could catch here. He and Ivin waited for Aarzio, who was flirting with the male server. Ben stared at the guard, urging him to hurry up; he was starving.

"Tam, we're waiting for you," Ivin called, his voice uncharacteristically tense.

Ben gave him a side glance; Ivin's mouth was a straight line and his eyes glinted with something dark. Was that jealously? His red hair was turning steadily darker by the second.

Aarzio gave a pout and winked at the server before sashaying towards them. "I'm coming, captain."

He passed Ivin and Ben saw his lips upturn slightly and his eyes light up in triumph. Looks like they had a crush on each other.

The men sat down at a half-empty table and like earlier that day, the resistance fighters looked at Ben with fear and disgust and stood as one and walked to another table nearby. Ben picked at his food, determined to not let that affect him. He hadn't wanted to sit with them either. They ate their meals in silence, a juxtaposition to the dull roar of the resistance conversing with each other. A half-hour later, everyone had finished eating, but no one was leaving just yet. Then the loud din quieted and Ben looked around to see the cause. Everyone was staring at a young woman climbing atop a table. It was Rose.

"Hello, everyone," She greeted everyone cheerily. "I hope everyone had a productive day. I'll be leading the daily report today."

"Where's Poe?!" interrupted a brown-eyed young man with spiky hair.

Ben recognized him from somewhere; ah yes, he'd been one of his guards the first day. Captain Gser had called him Jecob. So this must be Jecob Wyan, the moron who'd almost blown up the resistance fleet.

"WYAN!" Baso's voice blasted through the air, confirming Ben's theory. "COMMANDER TICO IS SPEAKING! SHOW HER YOUR RESPECT BY SHUTTING YOUR TRAP!"

"Thank you, Baso," Rose said, giving the chief a slight smile. "To answer your question, Wyan, Poe is currently on a mission. He's directed me to lead the daily resistance report today."

Ben narrowed his eyes at that. Poe had gone on a mission. He scanned the assembled crowd and noticed Finn and Rey were missing too. Had Poe dragged them along?

"We've received reports confirming that the First Order will be attacking the Venjagga system by next week. One of their generals will be leading a single star destroyer in the attack, but we still don't know who that person is yet," Rose said clinically, as if reporting on the weather. "Our goal is to intercept the destroyer before it reaches Venjagga, keeping the fight contained while we evacuate the planets. We will be deploying half of the pilots from this base; they will join forces with pilots from our sister bases on Taris and Iridonia."

"Will Poe be leading us?" asked a middle-aged human. Her face was scarred on one side and her posture was textbook military.

"General Dameron has been tasked with heading another important mission," Rose explained, eliciting a mixture of disappointed groans and small cries of protest. "General Antilles will be leading our forces to stop this attack, along with Commander Chewbacca."

Chewie gave a short bark, confirming Rose's statement. Everyone quieted down, content for the most part.

"Commander Chewbacca will be compiling the roster of pilots and fighters who will be taking part," Rose continued on. "If you want to put your name forward beforehand, let him know by tomorrow," She turned to direct her next words to Baso. "Chief, what is the status of our starfighters? What do you need to be ready to deploy forty pilots in four days?" 

"We're repairing starfighters as fast as we can. We took a real hit at Exogol," Baso stood up so everyone could see her.

Ben stiffened his spine as the people surrounding him turned to glare at him. What the hell? He hadn't been controlling the First Order forces at Exogol.

"I can have thirty-five starfighters ready by then," Baso said. "But if you want bombers, we won't make that deadline."

"One of our sister bases will be supplying the bombers," Rose referenced her reader, nodding to herself that the information was correct. "What do you need to make an extra five starfighters battle-ready?"

"I need more manpower," Baso affirmed, crossing her arms. "There's work to be done, but few to tackle it."

"I'll rearrange the work rosters for the next week," Rose promised, making a note in her reader. "You'll have what you need to get the work done. Next order of business, medical supplies. Commander D'Acy, any updates?"

Larma stood, her blonde hair dancing along her shoulders. "We're taking inventory and as of now, we have a shortage of splints and bacta gels. I'll be able to give you more information within the next few days."

Rose nodded, typing that down. "Commander Trodun, what's the status on the comms systems?"

"We're 100% operational," Mosla Trodun reported; her eerily black eyes surveyed the gathered crowd, making some gulp nervously. "We have a transmission lock with our sister bases and we're getting consistent reports from our people about the First Order's movements. We do have equipment that needs to be updated, but none that are time-critical."

"Thank you, commander," Rose made another note in her reader, her eyebrows turning slightly downward.

Equipment that wasn't regularly updated and maintained could eventually fail, and one wouldn't know about it until it was too late.

"Captain Gser, do you have anything to report for your area?"

The woman sitting beside Larma stood up. Her black hair was pinned up into a strict bun and her demeanor screamed of professionalism.

"Yes, commander. I've spoken with Commander Finn and we’d like to re-institute a training schedule within the week," Gser said as she laced her fingers behind her back. "We need to keep up our skills as we're continuing our fight with the First Order. I believe our fighters would benefit from starting with target practice."

"I'll carve time out in the work rosters to accommodate that," Rose said. "Does anyone have anything they'd like to escalate?"

At the next table over from Ben, Winn Bris stood up angrily.

"Yeah, I have something I want to escalate!" Winn jabbed a finger in Ben's direction. "I want to know why we're allowing the traitor - FUCK, THAT HURT!" He shouted as Aarzio kicked him hard in the shin. Clutching the affected area, Winn collapsed back into his seat, muttering obscenities.

"I realize everyone has complaints about Ben's presence here at the base," Rose said and everyone mumbled in agreement. "And with good reason, but the resistance leadership has agreed that he's traded sides and they're willing to give him a chance to prove himself. If anyone has a legitimate complaint, we will hear it. Does anyone else have anything they'd like to escalate?"

The resistance fighter grumbled and some shot a side-eye glance at Ben, but no one else came forward.

"Alright, thank you for your attention," Rose said with a tense smile. "The days forward will be dark, but we will beat back the First Order again. As long as we trust each other and go at it together, we will prevail."

Chewbacca gave a loud roar of approval, causing the fighters to join with a cheer and claps of approval. Rose hopped off the table as everyone stood up; some people mingled while others headed off, likely to sleep after a long day of work. Rose's small figure wound through the throng of people, heading for Ben's table. She sat down across from him with an apologetic expression.

"Hello, Ben," She greeted him. "How was your day?"

"Busy," Ben returned curtly, wanting to get straight to the point. "Did Poe take Rey with him on the mission?"

"Yes. Rey and Finn joined him." Rose nodded. "We received intel at noon and we had to jump quickly on it."

"Where did they go?" Ben questioned. No doubt, it was somewhere incredibly dangerous.

"I can't go into details, but they won't be back until dawn at the earliest," Rose said, looking away. "Rey asked me to tell you that she's sorry she won't be able to go running with you tonight."

"I understand," Ben muttered, but he was helpless to stop the anger and disappointment from swelling up within him.

Rose's comm beeped at her; she looked at the transmission signature and stood.

"I need to take this," She explained. "I'll see you tomorrow, Ben."

"Goodbye," Ben said as she walked away.

Something dark simmered in him that he tried to shy away from, but it wasn't quite working.

"Come on, I have something I want to show you," Ivin said suddenly, hoisting Ben from the bench.

"Not interested," Ben muttered, wanting to be left alone.

"I think you'll like it," Ivin insisted, dragging him along and disposing their trays along the way.

Aarzio and Sertali followed close on their heels. At the edge of the cantina, Chewie intercepted them and let out a few soft barks, asking Ben how he was doing.

"Not too bad," Ben answered truthfully. He could contain himself; these dark urges weren't anything he hadn't handled before. But... he'd had his Force abilities then to suppress them.

Chewie eyed his stiff stance and clenched fists dubiously. The Wookiee stepped forward and tugged Ben into a firm hug. He warbled, saying that Rey was going to be fine and would be back soon; she'd gone on hundreds of missions like this before.

"I'm not worried about her." Ben tried to lie convincingly. It was partially true, but he was more worried about how he felt without her by his side.

Chewie huffed in laughter and barked a question at Ivin, asking where they were going. Ben's tent was in the opposite direction.

"I thought we could show Ben the lightning tree," Ivin said earnestly. "I think it will help in the long run."

Chewie grunted, saying that was a good idea. He ruffled Ben's shorn hair and told him to come to him if anyone gave him a hard time. He'd straighten them out.

"Thanks," Ben smiled, the stress easing a little.

Chewie watched them walk off towards the jungle tree-line. Ben wondered what this 'lightning tree' was and why it was important he sees it. As they passed through the weapons training area, Ivin grabbed a worn silver quarterstaff from a pile. Ben grew tense again as they entered the jungle and walked through the heavy underbrush. Were they planning on whacking him here and leaving him for the wildlife to devour?

"Stop worrying," Ivin reprimanded him with a frown. "You're making me feel antsy too."

"Well, you haven't told me what we're doing here," Ben retorted, unrepentant. If Ivin didn't like feeling his emotions, then he could piss off.

"Trust us, you'll like it," Aarzio said with a hint of a smile.

"Unlikely," Ben muttered under his breath as they continued their hike through the jungle.

The sun was still visible through the trees, but its light was waning; it would set in a couple of hours. Finally, they entered a small clearing; the area was starkly different from the surrounding jungle. The vegetation was half-dead and there were stumps of trees. The tree at the center of the clearing was still standing, though it was one-third the size of the surrounding trees. The top was jagged and the wood was burned as if the top two-thirds had been blown off. What was left of the ancient tree was its base, some ten feet tall and several feet wide; it was gray with black streaks and most of the bark had been sheared off. What was odd was the tree was battered with blaster rounds and indents.

"This is the lightning tree," Ivin explained, waving a hand at it. "Lightning struck this area a few months after we set up the base here. The proximity of it fried some of our equipment and knocked out the comms system; it took us a few weeks to fix the damage. The tree died when it got hit, leaving what you see before you. We come here when we need to let off some steam."

Ben raised an eyebrow at him. What was the point of showing him this?

Ivin sighed and looked him straight in the eye. "Ben, I'll be frank. I don't like what I'm sensing from you and I'm not confident in my abilities to suppress it. I’m not Force-sensitive and I don’t pretend to be. I think my messing around with your darker emotions would actually make it worse and you may end up hurting one of us. I want you to release those emotions in a slightly more healthy way."

The captain extended the quarterstaff, silently asking him to take it. Ben gingerly took the weapon and stared at the three guards, wondering if this was a trick.

"Hit the tree, Ben," Aarzio said with a long-suffering sigh. "I don't want to deal with you when you're in a funk."

"This is stupid," Ben protested as Sertali nudged him towards the dead tree. "I don't need this."

"I think you do," Ivin said honestly and crossed his arms.

Ben sighed and half-heartedly swung the quarterstaff at the tree base. It landed with a soft thunk and didn't even make a dent. He usually didn't try to destroy something until he was really mad, like when Rey had escaped his clutches or when Snoke had told him his mask was stupid. He swung a little harder at the dense wood and dark emotions welled within him. He tried to push it back like always, but thinking about all the verbal abuse and heated looks he'd sustained that day coupled with not being able to spend quality time with Rey tonight made the emotions boil over. He started taking true swings at the tree, channeling the darkness into it. He tried to focus his swings using the Force, but as he tried to clutch a mental hand around the energy, it slipped from his grasp. No matter how many times he tried, he failed. It was the cuffs; that made him angrier than anything else and he shouted in frustration as he snapped the quarterstaff into one section of the tree as hard as he could. The strong blows created slight welts. Ben redoubled his efforts, whacking the tree and letting his emotions rage; pieces of dead, gray bark broke off under his assault as he tried to hack his way through the tree.

Eventually, he had to stop to catch his breath; he heaved in huge gasps of air and suddenly registered the soreness in his muscles. His hands shook a little from holding the heavy quarterstaff and he felt extremely fatigued. The sunlight had decreased significantly, but he could still see the tree well enough to survey the deep welts he'd carved into the tree; he hadn't thought he'd been that angry, but apparently he had been. At least he wasn't feeling incandescently angry anymore though, so that was a plus.

"Stars above," Sertali said behind him.

Ben turned to face his guards and they were all sporting some mix of surprise and fear. Aarzio's mouth was hanging open as he looked at him in awe.

"Holy shit, Ben," Aarzio laughed shakily. "What do you do when you _are_ angry?"

Ben shrugged, willing his heart rate to come down. He shivered as wind raced through the trees, cooling the sweat on his skin.

"Well, I think this system will work in the future," Ivin said. "Why don't we head back?"

Ben nodded and stepped towards them; all three stiffened and Aarzio's hand made an aborted move for his blaster. Ben had to suppress the urge to roll his eyes. Of the people at the base, these three were low on the list of people he wanted to whack. He tossed the quarterstaff to Ivin and they all headed back into the camp.

The captain made a salute to the guard in the scout tower as they crossed the boundary. The man saluted back and gave them a nod. Ben hoped he wasn't the same person who'd dozed off while he'd snuck back into the base early that morning. Ivin escorted him to his tent and told him that they would be taking shifts to guard him throughout the night. Ben couldn't care less as long as they let him sleep. He ducked inside his tent and had to hunch so his head wouldn't hit the fabric roof. The tent had a standard mattress for field operations, that is to say, it was serviceable, but not exactly comfortable. There was also a worn brown blanket; it was thick and warm, but had scraggly threads on the edges. He took off his leather jacket and folded it in half to serve as a pillow. He wrapped the blanket around himself to block out the chill creeping into the camp and tried to put all thoughts of Rey and his worry for her safety out of his head. He needed his rest to face tomorrow; he had a feeling it was going to be a lot like today.

-oOoOoOo-

_"You're a disappointment, Ben," Luke stared down at him, his face contorted in disgust. "I trained you better than this."_

_"What do you mean, uncle?" Ben pleaded desperately. "I've done everything you've asked of me. Isn't that enough?"_

_"If you had done what I asked of you, I wouldn't be faced with your failure," Luke shook his head and walked away. “Training you is my biggest regret.”_

_"Please give me another chance! Tell me what I did wrong," Ben tried to keep pace with him, but the distance between him and Luke kept increasing. "I will be the best Jedi you've ever trained if you just give me a chance!"_

_"I wanted you to be good, but you never will be," Luke's voice grew distant._

_"But I am good!" Ben shouted, running to catch up. “Uncle, please!”_

_He reached his uncle and turned him around, but it wasn’t Luke he saw. The man was older and his face was heavily scarred and disfigured and his hair was almost entirely gray. It was his former mentor, Ren._

_“If you’re good, then why did I sense the dark side was so strong within you?” Ren asked. “Why did you destroy the Jedi Temple and join me?”_

_“I… I,” Ben stuttered as he stumbled backwards._

_“Snoke said you had potential and I believed that. I thought you would be a valuable asset to the Knights of Ren,” Ren stalked forward, drawing his lightsaber. “But we were both wrong. The events on Mimban proved that. You haven’t changed from that pathetic boy who followed Luke Skywalker blindly.”_

_“You’re wrong about that,” Ben shouted at him._

_“You’re trash and you will always be trash,” Ren snarled at him and ignited the lightsaber. The red blade glowed ominously as he pointed it at Ben. “I was born out of the flames,” Ren intoned gravely. “But you… you will die by the flames.”_

_Ren drew his hand back and threw the lightsaber at Ben. As it left his grip, the kill switch activated and it exploded in Ben’s face. Ben screamed as shards of metal were embedded in his skin and fire scorched his face._

_As he felt himself disintegrating, black smoke swirled up and enveloped him; he choked and fell to his knees as the blackness covered him. He tried to get a hold of himself; this was a dream, it had to be. Ren had been dead for years. And yet, Ren’s words were like daggers he could not avoid; they were echoes of doubts he’d had himself over the years._

_No! His former mentor was wrong; he had changed since his teenage years and become wiser. The path he’d taken had been more like a maze than a straight line, but he’d found what he was meant to do and a cause he truly wanted to fight for. He was good now._

_"Being good is for weaklings," said a hoarse, rough voice. "It requires you to give yourself and receive nothing in return."_

_Ben looked up to see Snoke gazing down at him atop an oversized throne. His disfigured face was filled with hatred and contempt as he pointed a long finger at Ben._

_"I tried to crush the weakness from your puny body, but I failed. You let her corrupt you and now you will pay the price."_

_Ben screamed as Snoke used his power to torture him. His insides screamed for mercy as they were twisted and stabbed. He felt like he was being pulled apart and then seamlessly put back together, only for the whole process to start over again. He stayed strong, determined to ride it out. Snoke was wrong; being good wasn't a weakness._

_"You are strong to resist," Snoke whispered, lowering his finger. "Yet foolish to do so."_

_Ben choked and coughed on the cold ground as Snoke curled his fingers together. He looked up at the man in resentment as he tried to sit up._

_"Perhaps a stronger lesson is needed," Snoke pondered the possibilities and then waved his hand._

_Ben whimpered as Rey materialized into existence, her body weighed down with glowing chains; she had black metallic bands around her wrists that were painfully digging into her skin._

_"Don't you dare touch her!" Ben gasped out as he forced himself to move his tortured limbs to help Rey._

_"Why shouldn't I punish the one who tried to engineer my demise?"_

_Snoke's hoarse voice shifted into a deep, silky baritone with a slight echo. Ben looked up in time to see the horrifying transformation of Snoke's figure melting into Palpatine. The Sith Lord stood strong and tall, his terrible face visible under the black hood. He raised his hands to Rey and white lightning snapped out and struck her._

_"NO!" Ben shouted as Rey started screaming incoherently._

_He reached out with the Force to help her but felt nothing. He couldn't feel the Force. That wasn't right! He'd always been able to connect to the vast energy before. The emptiness he felt was appalling. He moved to attack Palpatine, but the evil Sith merely laughed. Glowing chains sprang into existence and weighed Ben down, forcing him to crash into the floor._

_"I had plans for both of you," Palpatine said as he lowered his hands._

_Rey groaned as the lightning was lifted; smoke rose from her body and her eyes were rolled back in her head._

_"I foresaw a glorious future for us," Palpatine hissed as he approached Ben. Rey's body lifted into the air and followed him. "With the heir apparent to my old apprentice and my granddaughter at my side, we could have brought the empire to new heights. We could have shaped the cosmos to our will!"_

_Rey crashed in a heap a few feet away from Ben. He reached out to her, but he was held immobile by the chains. Rey's eyes rolled back into a normal position and regained their clarity; she reached out to Ben weakly._

_"Ben?" She whispered hoarsely, her hazel eyes filled with fear. "Help me."_

_"But you lacked the vision to bring that future into reality, choosing each other instead," Palpatine growled and shook his head in disgust. "You put your faith into each other and now you will know the price of defying me."_

_Lightning arced from his hands and struck the two of them. Ben screamed and writhed in agony as his organs felt like they were being lit on fire. His nerves protested at the amount of energy coursing through them. It could have lasted seconds or hours, he wouldn't of known. The lightning was lifted and Ben groaned in pain, and yet he still tried to reach Rey, who was lying unresponsive beside him. His heart stopped and filled with despair as he registered her face, locked in a glassy stare of death._

_"I cannot be killed. Death is only an illusion for one who can create life." Palpatine cackled viciously, sending chills down Ben's spine._

_The Sith stepped closer into Ben's field of vision and knelt down and wrapped his fingers around his throat. Every wrinkle and line in his face was starkly visible as the life was choked out of Ben. From this angle, he noticed Palpatine's sickly yellow eyes suddenly turn into a curious shade of blue, similar to a calm sea under full sunlight._

_"Did you really think I would forget you?" The emperor asked calmly. His voice had an undertone that belonged to someone else, someone female._

_Ben couldn't respond with Palpatine's fingers digging into his throat, but he was bewildered. Who was that?_

_"Never fear, my love. I will scour the galaxy until you're by my side again," The mysterious voice said, using Palpatine's figure as a conduit. "You belong with me, not them.”_

_Black spots filled Ben's vision and everything swirled into blackness._

-oOoOoOo-

Ben woke up screaming in horror. He was drenched in sweat and shaking hard. The tent's close walls seemed to close in on him, threatening to crush him in the confined space. The tent flap rustled as someone entered; the shadowy figure tried to grab him and he reacted in a panic, grabbing the hands hard and moving to break them. He was headbutted hard and he fell back, majorly disoriented.

"BEN!" Someone else shouted as they raced into the tent. "Ben, are you alright?"

"Stay back," warned the first person. They held a hand out to stop the second person from moving towards him. "He's not fully conscious yet."

Ben breathed hard as he tried to separate dream from reality. Slowly, the cobwebs fell away as the dream receded and he could comprehend his surroundings. Relief filled him as he saw Rey standing above him. She was being held back by Sertali; both were looking at him with worry, though the Selonian's posture was defensive.

"You're back," Ben stood up, not even trying to hide his relief. Rey's pale, dead face from his dream was at the forefront of his mind.

"Yes, I'm fine," Rey gently pushed Sertali away and rushed to Ben and pulled him into her arms.

Ben welcomed her embrace and relished the feel of her breath against his skin. It was okay. She was alive and well... and smelling of smoke and metal.

"What happened?" Rey pulled back and looked up at him seriously.

"Nothing," Ben said. Embarrassment welled up in him as he remembered why they were in his tent. He didn't want to elaborate on his moment of weakness.

"Something is wrong, Ben," Rey frowned at him. "You wouldn't scream like that for nothing."

"I don't want to talk about it," Ben muttered, looking away. Fuck, had the whole base heard him? "When did you get back?"

"About thirty minutes ago. It's early morning," Rey supplied; she was still sporting a frown due to his evasiveness, but she dropped the topic. "I'm sorry I didn't have time to tell you I was leaving. The situation needed to be dealt with immediately."

"It's alright. I can handle myself," Ben said petulantly. He didn't need a babysitter for every minute of every day. He shook himself, determined to change the topic. "Was the mission a success?"

"Yes," Rey beamed in pride. "We received a distress call from a neighboring planet; the First Order needed the resources they had and they were stripping the planet for it. We arrived in time to stem the damage."

"I'm glad," Ben said shortly.

"We have a few hours until first meal," Rey said as she gauged the amount of light coming into the tent, which wasn't that much. "Why don't we go on that run I promised yesterday?"

Ben perked up, very interested in that. "I'd like that."

"Let's go then," Rey grabbed his jacket off the floor and handed it to him. "You better dress warm. It gets rather chilly here in the mornings."

Ben shrugged on the jacket, noticing the irony of her statement as she was dressed in her usual light armless tunic and gauzy overwraps. Rey noticed his accusing look and smirked.

"My body temperature runs warm," Rey explained. "I rarely need extra clothing here."

They exited the tent and Ben breathed in the cold and crisp air deeply; it was very refreshing and served to wipe away the remnants of the terror he'd experienced in his nightmare. The base was silent and shrouded in shadows as the sun had yet to rise above the horizon. Sertali tailed them as Rey led the way into the jungle.

"Are your hands alright, Sertali?" Ben asked in a roundabout way of apologizing for almost breaking her limbs. She was a good person for putting up with him and he didn't want to alienate her, but words of apology were not second nature for him.

"I hit you in the head, so we are even," Sertali swished her tail as they walked through the grass. "It was my fault; I should not have approached you."

Ben nodded in acknowledgment, cursing that he was so terrible at this.

"Here we are," Rey gestured at a young tree covered with white bark. "This is where I start the course."

"I will wait here for your return," Sertali sat down on a flat rock and curled her tail around a leg; she draped her blaster rifle over her lap and drew out a comm.

"Are you sure you don't want to come with us?" Rey asked.

Ben gave her a pleading look as he stretched his muscles, begging her to rescind the invitation. He didn't want a guard tailing him the entire time.

"Poe gave permission for Ben to accompany you on the course," Sertali said as she pressed a button on her comm. "With the condition that you carry an open communications device."

The comm on Rey's belt gave a buzz and she switched it on.

"We can live with that," Rey said with disgruntlement. She put on a smile and looked at Ben. "Are you ready?"

"Yes," Ben nodded, feeling excited already.

"Ok, I'll lead for the first circuit so you can get a lay of the land," Rey directed as she quickly stretched; she was already limber from the mission.

Rey bounded off down a well-worn trail and Ben launched himself after her. The wind whipped through their hair as they raced through the vegetation. The path took them through groupings of ancient trees and along cliff edges. Ben wished he could access the Force because that would have been useful to determine where he was going; there was less light under the dense canopy. They'd been running for several minutes when they came to a large chasm, at least twenty feet across; Rey flung herself over it with a practiced leap, but Ben slowed to a stop as he considered how to get across it. The leap definitely required a Force-jump; he reached for the Force as he'd down a million times before, but the energy slipped from his grasp. Damn his wishful thinking.

"Oh!" Rey gasped from the other side. "I'm sorry. I didn't think..."

"It's alright," Ben assured her as he looked around; his gaze alighted on an inclined rocky ledge with moss in its cracks jutting out over the chasm.

"We'll take a different path, Ben," Rey said as he backed up several feet. "The ravine is less broad a few hundred meters to your left."

"I'll be there in a second," He said.

He took a deep breath and ran full-tilt at the ledge. As he reached the edge of the slight incline, he put all his strength into the last step and launched himself into the air. He soared over the ravine, getting a good view of the densely packed gnarly trees with pointy branches and a small river winding its way through it. He landed on the other side heavily and had barely taken another step when the ground fell away under his first step. He hopped quickly towards safety as the part of the ledge he’d been standing on crumbled and fell into the chasm.

"See? I made it," Ben smirked proudly.

"Don't scare me like that!" Rey thwacked his shoulder angrily, her eyes flashing with fear. "You could have gotten yourself killed! You can't take these kinds of risks now."

"I wouldn't have done it if I didn't think I could make it," He said, but privately acknowledged that she was right. He wasn't an all-powerful being anymore.

"You're just as bad as Poe," Rey sighed and shook her head as color came back to her cheeks. "No regard for your own safety."

"Don't compare me to him," Ben rolled his eyes.

"But it's true," Rey said in a sing-song voice.

Ben growled playfully at her and she laughed and ran towards a large bush with flat, circular leaves. He quickly caught up and they ran together towards the crashing sounds of a waterfall; they passed over the top of it and Ben noted that it was smaller than the other one he'd jumped from.

"There are steps going down!" Rey shouted to make herself heard over the roar of the falls.

Ben nodded and watched her for a few seconds as she traversed the hidden steps alongside the falls before following in her footsteps; the ledges were large enough to accommodate them safely and removed from the falls so they didn't get drenched, but they did get water droplets on their skin from the water mist. Ben grinned happily as he leaped from step to step; he hadn't done anything this fun in years.

They traveled along the riverbed for a mile and then curved left to enter the trees again. The dense grouping of trees thinned and opened up into a huge, flat space containing vegetation that came up to their ankles. Ben let himself run freely, just enjoying the feel of the firm ground under his feet and the wind blowing gently against his face; he felt free and exhilarated for the first time that week. Many minutes passed and soon they were entering the tree line again. The path curved to the side and Ben could hear the sound of starship engines humming.

"We're getting close to the starting point," Rey said, slowing down slightly to keep pace with him. "Want to go again?"

"Yes," Ben nodded eagerly. Anything to escape reality for a while. "But this time, don't hold back. I need to know if I can keep up with you when you're using the Force."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Rey asked dubiously.

"I need to know," Ben returned. He wouldn't know how much the cuffs were affecting him if he didn't test it out.

"Alright," Rey nodded. Tiny wisps of her hair had escaped her buns and were dancing in the wind. "But we're going to take a different path initially. I don't want to have a heart attack again when you jump a twenty-foot chasm."

"Whatever makes you comfortable," Ben said as they flew past Sertali.

The Selonian hadn't moved from her position and gazed at them impassively as they went by.

Rey increased her gait, moving more fluidly as she charged ahead. Ben pushed himself faster to keep up with her; as they neared the chasm, Rey changed their trajectory towards the left where the breadth of the gap was about half as wide. Both jumped it easily and ran for the waterfall. Ben knew the path, so he tried to forge ahead of Rey, pushing himself to the maximum. She managed to stay a few steps ahead of him as they crossed the lip of the waterfall and descended down the misty steps. As they came into the wide-open space again, Ben let loose, letting his legs churn at a fast pace; he blazed across the ground, but Rey was able to stay several feet ahead of him. She slowed down as she entered the tree line and he was able to catch up with her.

“Again,” He requested.

Rey nodded and they continued on. He pushed himself hard and was able to gain some ground, but Rey easily stayed ahead of him. By the fifth circuit, he was growing tired and had to admit defeat. As they finished crossing the clearing the final time, Ben slowed to a stop; he was panting heavily and hunching over from abdominal pain.

"Are you alright?" Rey asked as she backtracked. She was breathing slightly faster, but nowhere near as quickly as Ben was.

"Fine," Ben huffed out, a little put out she was able to move so much faster than him. He'd expected more of himself, even without access to the Force. "Were you using the Force?"

"Mostly," Rey admitted. "I didn't want to leave you behind."

"How much further ahead could you have gone?" Ben asked, wanting the truth.

"Maybe four times as far," Rey said in a small voice.

Ben huffed and tried to do his best to quell the anger rising in him; he couldn't believe the cuffs had this much effect on him. He could hardly wait to see how debilitated his weapons skills were, if they ever allowed him to pick one up.

"You're still faster than anyone else on the base," Rey patted his shoulder in encouragement.

"That's not what's bothering me," Ben straightened up and looked at her cherry red face flushed from the exercise.

It was such a sharp contrast to her pale features in his dream. How could he defend her, or himself, if he didn't have all his powers at his beck and call? He walked along the path that would lead them to the starting point; he didn't want to confide those troubles to her.

"Has someone been giving you trouble?" Rey asked in concern, jogging to catch up with him. "Ben?"

"Ivin and the others are good," Ben shrugged, avoiding the true topic and feeling a little guilty about that. "Everyone else I don't know is giving me crap, but they haven't tried to attack me again."

"That's not what's bothering you," Rey surmised after a few moments and pulled him to a stop. "I can sense it."

Ben stiffened as he realized she was reading his emotions. Damn it. She knew he was lying. He hated Poe.

"Please tell me, Ben," Rey pleaded. "Whatever it is, I can help."

Ben swayed between the options of telling her and keeping it to himself. He didn't want anyone to know about his nightmare. Rey stared at him and then pulled out her comm, which was still activated.

"Sertali? We're almost back to your position," Rey spoke into the device. "Do you mind if I cut off the comm?"

"Is everything alright?" Sertali's voice hissed over the comm.

"Everything's fine. Ben and I need a few minutes of privacy."

"Only a few minutes," Sertali commanded, not sounding pleased.

Rey turned off the comm and tucked it into her pocket. She looked up at Ben expectantly.

"Fine. I had a nightmare," Ben grunted and folded his arms. "It combined all my worst enemies and fears. You were in it, being tortured by Snoke and then Palpatine. He shocked you with lightning and... and killed you. I was powerless to stop him."

"Oh, Ben," Rey placed her hands on his interlocked arms. "It was just a nightmare. You saved me on Exogol."

"It's just..." Ben breathed in deeply as twinges of fear resurfaced. "Palpatine said something to me. He said that death is an illusion for someone who can create life and that he couldn't be killed. And then he said he would find me, no matter where I am in the galaxy."

"It must be your subconscious fears," Rey assured him. "We faced Palpatine together on Exogol. I killed him by blasting his own lightning back at him; he disintegrated and there was nothing left. I felt him pass on, I'm sure of it."

"I know you're right," Ben said, but he privately disagreed. "I just can't shake this feeling there's something or someone out there, still pulling the strings."

Was it Palpatine as his nightmare suggested? Force-sensitive beings were known to get visions. He'd had visions in the past, but nothing so definitive before. Or was it some other unknown entity, someone just as powerful as the Sith Lord? He shuddered to think of the possibility.

"Well, if it is Palpatine, we'll handle him together again," Rey said confidently. "Besides, given his track record, it would take him twenty years to regain his power."

"Hopefully, it's not him," Ben said as dread rose within him.

He looked down at the black metal cuffs; with these on, he'd never be able to face Palpatine. He needed to gain Poe's trust quickly so they'd be taken off; only then, would he be strong enough to face whatever was coming.

"Rey?" Sertali's voice echoed through the air.

The guard appeared around a bush, carrying her blaster rifle at the ready. She relaxed slightly as she saw both of them.

"Are you alright?" She asked pointedly, glancing between him and Rey.

"We're alright, Sertali," Rey assured her. "We really just needed a private moment to talk through some things."

The meal bell chimed in the distance, signaling first meal. Had a few hours already passed?

"Let's go get something to eat," Rey suggested, moving towards the base. "I haven't eaten anything decent for fifteen hours."

Sertali gave him a suspicious glance before lowering her rifle and gesturing for him to follow Rey. Ben did so with a sigh. Time to go back to reality; people were still afraid of him, but they sure as hell weren't afraid to show their anger and disgust with him.

Ben got in line with Rey to be served. Thankfully, there were few people in line; the majority of the base must still be waking up and taking care of their morning routines. The servers were different today, a humanoid male with antennae growing out of his head and a Selkath with an interesting skin pattern of gray, pink, and yellow speckles. The first meal of the day turned out to be two bread rolls and a bowl of granular sludge.

"It's not as bad as it looks," The Selkath assured him as she handed him a bowl of the mystery goop.

"I'll take your word for it," Ben said as he took the bowl and moved on to the rolls.

The Selkath ladled out another bowl and handed it to Sertali.

"Thanks, Ayanin. How was your shift yesterday?" Sertali asked innocently.

"You should know," Ayanin said, putting her hands on her waist. "I saw you sprinting away. How much did you lose to Captain Ivin?"

"Ten creds," Sertali shrugged, not at all affected by having been called out. "I really didn't think the chief would back down."

"She almost didn't," Ayanin laughed as she poured more goop into a bowl for the next person in line. "Baso was right, though. Her way was much better." She smiled with mirth in her eyes. "Let me know the next time you bet on a shouting match. I want to get in on that action."

"I will," Sertali grinned at her, putting her pointed teeth on full display. "Congrats on surviving the rite of passage. You're a resistance mechanic now."

"I look forward to the next time I irk the chief," Ayanin winked at the guard as she moved on.

Rey giggled lightly as they all sat down at an empty table.

"Still betting on your fellow mechanics, Sertali?" Rey asked as she dipped a roll into her bowl and took a big bite. "I thought you would have run out of money by now."

"I do win every now and then," Sertali defended herself in mock outrage. "But Ivin has the upper hand. I usually lose against him."

"Why do you do it then?" Ben asked as he dubiously eyed the liquidy food.

"It's all in good fun," Sertali shrugged as she chewed down a roll. "And what else is there to relieve tension?"

Ben shrugged and picked up a roll and bit into it. His teeth had a hard time sinking into the bread and he had an even harder time swallowing the dry morsel he managed to tear off.

"It's better if you dunk it in the porridge first," Rey recommended as she scooped white granules onto her half-eaten roll.

"Is that what this is?" Ben asked as he dipped a tiny section of his roll into the bowl.

He put it in his mouth before he could lose his nerve. The porridge was sweet and warm and didn't taste all that bad, once one got over the texture. The roll had softened up a bit too.

"See? Not bad, right?" Sertali said as she finished scarfing down her rolls and started sipping porridge from her bowl.

"I think we ran out of flour," Rey said as she started on her second roll. "These look like the ones we keep in the food cryo units."

"Well, that explains why they're drier than a desert," Ben said as he suffered his way through the first reconstituted roll.

"It could be worse," Rey shrugged. "We once had to resort to eating weed balls from the lake; Larma said it has the same nutritional benefits."

Sertali snarled at that and shuddered. "I'd rather face the First Order naked. I'd never tasted anything so repulsive."

"It was only that one time," Rey said comfortingly while hiding a smile behind her hand. "Poe promised to never let our situation grow that dire again."

"Spreading rumors about me?" Poe asked as he set his bowl of porridge on the table across from Ben with a clunk; some liquid splashed out of the bowl onto the table. He sat down, not looking at Ben.

"We were talking about the weed balls Larma found and made us eat," Rey brought him up to speed.

"Oh, don't remind me of that," Poe rolled his eyes and smiled. "The whole base went after me and I wasn't even in charge then."

"You _were_ responsible for food acquisition that week," Rey remembered fondly.

"How was your first day, Ben?" Poe asked out of the blue, his voice slightly tense.

"Why would you care?" Ben retorted, unwilling to exchange pleasantries he didn't mean.

"Fuck you," Poe snarled. "I'm trying to be polite here."

"Well, don't feel pressured to do it on my account," Ben retorted; his muscles coiled and his fists clenched in preparation to launch himself across the table.

"Good morning, everyone," Ivin greeted them as he and Aarzio quickly stepped up to the table. "Isn't it a lovely morning?"

The tense atmosphere immediately deflated. Ben couldn't hold on to his simmering rage and his muscles automatically relaxed.

"Lovely," Poe muttered in agreement, glaring at Ben.

"Why are you here?" Ben asked him as the two guards joined them at the table.

"I want damaging information on the First Order," Poe said as he tore a roll apart into quarters. "We need to know what you know. I want to destroy them before they can regain their full might."

"What exactly do you want to know?" Ben resumed eating with a grim expression. He _had_ promised to help the resistance and now it was time to keep that promise.

"Start listing things and I'll tell you if it's useful," Poe ordered him as he placed a reader on the table and prepped to take notes.

"There's an important mining station in the Unknown Regions called Station Theta Black," Ben supplied. "It mines dedlanite for a majority of the First Order's blaster weapons."

"We already know about that," Poe interjected. "We infiltrated the station about a year ago, but Phasma blew it up. Shouldn't you know about that?"

"I didn't exactly read summary reports unless they directly pertained to me," Ben griped out. His focus during that time had mostly been on Rey; anything that didn’t concern her, he’d ignored. "The First Order also mines for dedlanite in asteroid fields near Maltha Obex, Hollastin, and Shola. Those are the other major locations I know about."

"Hollastin? That’s ballsy of the First Order," Poe raised his eyebrow. "That's in Hutt Space. The Hutts may not hold as much power as they did 30 years ago, but they're still formidable."

"The Hutts knew not to mess with us... them," Ben finished lamely.

"Ok, we didn't know about Hollastin, so that's potentially useful," Poe typed it down. "We'll verify if it's valid and send a team there to take care of it."

"It's valid," Ben muttered; how dare Poe accuse him of lying!

If he wanted to destroy the resistance, then he wouldn't be relaying misleading information. He'd lead an assault on their base and crush them.

"Ok, what else?" Poe asked, staring Ben directly in the eye and daring him to say something about his not trusting his word.

"I can give you a list of the officer hierarchy in the First Order," Ben snatched his reader and starting making a list of officers from generals to lieutenants. "You can cross out the ones you've verified were killed at Exogol."

After a minute, Ben tossed the reader back. Poe fumbled as he tried to catch it and barely kept it from smashing into the ground. Grumbling under his breath, he perused the list.

"Hux was killed at Exogol," Poe crossed out his name. "In fact, everyone on board the Steadfast was wiped out when it crashed. It was in one of the transmissions we intercepted."

"Well, that reduces the list a considerable amount," Ben said as he took back the reader and crossed out almost two-thirds of the names. He stared at Hux's name when he finished. "Hux is dead? How did that happen?"

"We don't know, but he saved us from being executed and said he was an informant for the resistance," Poe shrugged, taking the device back. "He let us go and stayed behind to keep his cover. We haven’t heard any word of his movements since."

"He was a spy?" Ben asked dubiously. Hux was the most racist, bigoted asshole in the organization; he’d only cared about bringing the galaxy under the First Order's rule. There's no way he'd been a double agent.

"Hux made it clear he was the one sending us information recently," Poe smirked. "Apparently, you made his life miserable ever since you became the Supreme Leader. He didn't care who won the war; he just wanted to make sure _you_ lost."

"That bastard," Ben growled as he thought about his former nemesis.

Hux was a talented individual, but extremely hard to work with. They'd clashed over almost everything. It was as if Hux had made it his purpose in life to derail him from his chosen path. Well, according to Poe, that's exactly what he'd done, going against everything he’d believed in to come out on top in their feud.

"Is this it?" Poe asked as he scanned his reader, unimpressed by the information listed there.

"I'm sure I can think of something else," Ben hissed.

He searched his memories for something the resistance wouldn't know about... no, something Poe wouldn't know about. His thoughts alighted on some starships the First Order had been holding in reserve.

"The First Order has several star destroyers in a backup fleet they keep in the Outer Rim," Ben supplied, smug in the knowledge that he'd finally found something to impress Poe with. "They likely weren't deployed to Exogol since they were stationed on the other side of the galaxy."

"We know," Poe said with a sigh. "A few of them have been terrorizing the galaxy. We've been hard spent trying to contain the damage."

"Do you also know about the two dreadnoughts that were recently manufactured?" Ben asked, slightly deflated his biggest piece of information was a dud.

"Yes, we know about those too. One Bellator-class and one Eclipse-class," Poe confirmed darkly. "We're building bombers as fast as we can. Hopefully, the First Order won't send those into battle anytime soon."

"How the hell did you know about those?!" Ben slammed his hands on the table.

Everyone except Rey jumped and reached for their weapons, as did people at the surrounding tables. He didn't care; he had more pressing concerns.

"That's confidential information," Ben seethed. "No one knew about the reserve fleet and those dreadnoughts being constructed except those in the higher ranks..." He stopped as what he said clicked in his mind. That meant... "You have a spy who's a superior officer. Who is it?"

"We don't know," Poe shook his head.

"Tell me," Ben ground out, getting pissed off. One of his own officers, someone he'd known, had been supplying information to the resistance right under his nose.

"We really don't know," Rey assured him, putting a hand on his bicep. "The person is one of Maz Kanata's contacts. You remember her?"

"Yes, I remember," Ben nodded with a slight smile. Maz was an old friend of the family. She had a palace on Takodana; how could he forget the place where he and Rey had first met?

"Maz gets the intel and passes it along to us," Poe explained. "I ask her who’s supplying it every time, but she refuses to give me a name. She says it for their safety."

"Probably a good call," Ben said vindictively. "If they'd been caught, I would have been the first one to tear their head off."

"Could it have been Hux?" Rey asked curiously.

"I thought so too for a moment," Poe nodded seriously. "But it doesn't add up. He only started giving us information within the past few months, and we've been getting intel from Maz's contact for almost a decade. Whoever it was probably died at Exogol; we haven't gotten any more data packages since."

Poe looked over the list of information Ben had given him and snorted.

"This is pathetic. I only let you stay because the resistance leadership really thinks you can give us substantial information that will let us blast the First Order into oblivion," Poe said as he stood up. Ben tried his best to not cast the table aside and throttle the man. "You better think of some intel that can actually be of use to us, and soon."

The 'or else' was left unsaid, but Ben got the message. Pony up some good intel or get the fuck out of here.

"Don't listen to him," Rey said as Poe walked away. "He just wants to make you nervous. He didn't mean to threaten you."

"Yes, he did," Ben said as he stared at Poe's retreating back. He was vaguely amused he'd tried to hand him an ultimatum. He didn't care what Poe decided. He was staying here until he decided to leave. "I would have done the same in his position."

"Well, that doesn't exactly speak well of either of you," Rey sighed and scooped up some crumbs and tossed them into her empty bowl. "He's probably just cranky from getting no sleep. I need to catch up on that too, so I'll see you at mid-day meal, okay?"

"Okay," Ben turned to fully face her and his heart sank at stressful expression she wore.

There were crinkles in her brow and her spirit was visibly dampened; she looked twice her age. Were his combative interactions with Poe causing this?

"Hey, are you alright?" He asked softly, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"I'm fine," Rey smiled at him, but it lacked its usual brightness. "Just tired."

She stood and dumped her bowl in the rubbish bin to be cleaned, before walking into the maze of tents. Ben stared after her, feeling decidedly odd.

"Tell me the truth," Ben directed at the three guards minding their own business. "Was that my fault?"

"What?" Aarzio asked, his head snapping up.

"That look on her face," Ben said solemnly.

The guards looked at each other, silently conversing; Ivin nodded and addressed him.

"We've noticed that Rey has been more withdrawn of late," The captain said, nodding in the direction she'd gone. "I can feel her sadness whenever you interact with her friends and it goes badly."

"Like just now?"

"Like just now," Ivin confirmed. "She wants you to assimilate into the resistance, but she's having a hard time coming to terms with the reality that won't happen immediately."

"What can I do?" Ben asked desperately. He hated Poe for being a cocky asshole and for taking away his Force abilities, but he couldn't let that ruin his relationship, or whatever he had, with Rey.

"Be less aggressive," Aarzio spoke around a mouthful of bread roll and porridge. "I know it's an ingrained response now, but it's not helpful."

"It's a defense mechanism," Ivin corrected him helpfully. "He's only doing it when he feels threatened."

"Say it louder, why don't you," Ben growled, his hackles rising as he noticed people eavesdropping on them.

"What these two knuckleheads are trying to say, rather unsuccessfully," Sertali threw a roll nugget at Ivin's head. "Is that you should think about your response before you react."

"That's really the best advice you have?" Ben rolled his eyes; this was never going to work.

"Yes," Ivin nodded firmly; he brushed the piece of bread into his bowl. "I can't see the future, but I predict if you at least try, you'll see a marked improvement in your interaction with people."

Ben grumbled to himself, but Rey's distraught face came to mind and he sighed.

"Fine, I'll try it," He ground out.

"Excellent," Ivin smiled and stood up. "Why don't we get going. We have a busy day ahead of us."

Ben followed suit and they walked together through the tables, which were filling up with resistance fighters. He tried to ignore the people's heavy glares, but they were quite impossible to ignore.

"There goes the traitor." One person said loudly.

"I can't believe they didn't lock him up." Another muttered quietly. "He's a danger to us and the children."

"Father-killer," Someone else said as they tried to trip him.

He understood; they were angry with him, but that didn't make the words hurt any less. Ben avoided the attempts to sabotage him and tried to tune them out, but he still felt like an outsider anyway. He was like a Burra fish trying to live on dry land, surrounded by hungry predators. If he didn’t adapt and find a way to gain their trust, they'd eat him alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Ben's first actual day in the resistance. :) What do you all think?  
> \--  
> Thanks for reading! Stay safe out there.


	5. What a Shitshow

The next few days passed similarly to the first. Ben spent his time doing work around the base, mostly cleaning various items. One day, he scrubbed and fixed comm system parts; the equipment had been taken out of the fleet's ships that had been damaged in previous battles. The parts had been covered in rust and ash, and in some cases, corrosive engine fluid that he had to use special gloves to handle. For the entire shift, he'd had to endure Commander Trodun's intense black-eyed gaze, which made him feel like he was perpetually doing something wrong. Then he'd spent the rest of the day working his fingers raw red cleaning another batch of engine parts for Baso. The day after that had been a little better; the medical supply shipments had come in and he'd expended a lot of time adding it to the current stock. For the evening shift in the shipyard, he and Sertali had been assigned to assemble some injector relays; the atmosphere had been tense as the mechanics scrambled to meet the demand for working battleships before the fight at the Venjagga system.

His three shadows remained a constant presence, even though he was only supposed to have one guard on him at a time. The other two always showed up on the same shift as him, with various excuses; most were reasonable and other explanations made his eyes roll. He learned just to go with it by the third day; it was easier than debating the issue with the obstinate captain. 

The resistance fighters still treated him like an explosive device that might go off if tampered with, yet also as something to poke and jab at to figure out what made it tick. Captain Ivin had to exert his influence on Ben several times a day to keep his temper under control. More than once, they’d made a trip to the lightning tree and take out his runaway emotions on it.

The only thing truly keeping him sane was Rey and their morning runs through the jungle. It was a time where he wasn't surrounded by belligerent resistance fighters or tortured by the memories of old friends who were now suspicious and fearful of him. He could just be himself and test his agility and endurance... and he could also have some quality time with Rey.

Everything was going relatively smoothly until the fourth day in, when his temper got the better of him.

“What do you mean you want me to fix the latrines?” Ben asked incredulously, his breakfast roll halfway to his mouth.

Poe stood over him, arms crossed and his lips lifted in a half-smirk. Around them, resistance fighters were eating their meals and casting sly glances at their table, obviously eavesdropping.

“The latrine facilities malfunctioned and it was just reported fifteen minutes ago,” Poe said. “The duty rosters have already been made for the day and half the base is departing for the Venjagga system in a few hours. There’s no one else to take care of it… and no one else has volunteered their services.” 

“Of course not,” Aarzio muttered under his breath as he hurriedly walked up, catching the tail end of the conversation. He slid into a seat next to Sertali, giving his sleep-mussed hair a quick brush with his fingers. “Anyone in their right mind would run away as fast as they could.”

“So I’ve volunteered you and your guards to take care of the mess,” Poe continued, giving Aarzio a questioning glance at his disheveled appearance. “Report there before the situation gets worse.”

“Get someone else to do it,” Ben retorted. “You have at least thirty droids roaming about the base. Aren’t they equipped to deal with broken systems like this?”

“They’re busy too,” Poe said, waving away his objections. “And this wasn’t a request, it was an order. Fix the latrine facilities or I’ll revoke your asylum with us.”

“You asshole,” Ben seethed, crushing the bread roll in his hand. It crumbled under the pressure and the pieces fell to the grassy ground.

“We’ll take of it immediately, general,” Ivin cut in before Ben could challenge the order some more.

“Mixa!” Aarzio hissed. “What are you doing?”

“Glad to hear it, captain. I want a report before I leave with our fighters,” Poe nodded at the captain and left to confer with one of the fighter pilots waving at him.

“We received a direct order from the general,” Ivin argued with his subordinate. “We’ll carry it out, whether we like it or not.”

“You cannot be serious,” Ben glared at the Zeltron. “We are not doing it.”

Any other time, his words would have carried the full weight of the Force. He would have been able to change the captain’s mind and escape doing the repairs. But hampered by the cuffs, his words rang hollow.

“I’m not any happier about it than you are,” Sertali chucked what was left of her breakfast in her bowl and rose to her feet. “Let’s just get it over with as quickly as possible.”

Ben gnashed his teeth, but couldn’t come up with an excuse to avoid the task. His continued presence at the base depended on Poe’s goodwill. He disposed of his food scraps and trudged after Ivin towards the latrines. Aarzio yawned as he hurried to keep pace with them.

“You should have just slept in, Aarzio,” Sertali grinned at the young man. “Then you would have missed the fun.”

Aarzio sighed and rubbed his eyes. “I wish I had.”

“You were late today, Tam,” Captain Ivin said curtly, not slowing his pace. “The general noticed. I’d like an explanation now.”

“I had a late night, Mixa,” Aarzio explained as they rounded the medical tent. “Baso and Chewie had all the pilots doing final checks on the starships. Even though I’m staying behind, they wanted all of us there.”

“That doesn’t explain your tardiness today,” Ivin said unbendingly.

“I’m sorry, Mixa,” Aarzio said earnestly, falling into step next to the captain. “I really am.”

Ivin glanced at Aarzio’s repentant face and sighed after a few moments. “Just don’t let it happen again, okay?”

“You got it, cap,” Aarzio beamed radiantly at him, causing a faint blush to rise on the Zeltron’s cheeks.

They passed rows of tents that were the personal quarters of the resistance fighters and approached the latrine facilities. They could smell it before they saw it. Ben was aghast at the state of the place. Pools of liquid and solid waste had formed and were spreading over the bright green grass. Ben cursed Poe out in his thoughts for making him do this. He was definitely going to vomit.

“Here, put these on,” Sertali handed Ben a pair of clear, knee-high waders to put on over his feet.

Ben slid them on and accepted a couple of nose-plugs and gloves from Aarzio and passed a pair to Sertali. Evidently, this had happened more than once in the past since the base had a system in place for dealing with it. Once they were equipped with safety gear and repair kits, they stood at the edge of the growing pool, each unwilling to take the first step.

“Come on,” Ivin said, his voice a little nasal. He squelched his way toward the facility.

Ben followed him, shuddering in distaste as he waded through the waste. He couldn’t let himself think about what he was stepping in or he’d lose control of his stomach. He forced himself to think about more pleasant thoughts, like the morning’s run with Rey. They’d tried a new path, leaping on stones to cross the river and had explored a gorge filled with spiky blue plants. She’d looked radiant in the morning sun, bounding about with quick-footed steps.

“It looks like the leaks are forming near the backup power units,” Ivin effectively cut off Ben’s attempt to distract himself. He pulled a lever on an outer control panel. “I’ve cut off the water disposal flow. We need to go inside and figure out where the pipes burst.”

They gamely trudged through the sewage in the facilities though they grumbled all the while. Aarzio kept up a steady stream of complaints under his breath. Sertali was wearing a perpetual look of disgust and covering her sensitive nose when she could; she held her tail stiffly upward and flinched every time droplets hit it. Captain Ivin tried to keep their morale up as they suctioned waste through a small vacuum into a container, but his mood was clearly declining too. After the floor was relatively clean, they each took a section of the facility to search, lifting the streaky floor panels to get at the pipes below.

“I found a break,” Sertali said shortly after a few minutes.

She used a small device to spray a liquid metal substance over the damaged pipe, sealing the breach.

“I have several microfractures here,” Ivin said, using his own device to repair the pipes.

An hour passed as they lifted panel after panel, working their way towards the main control panel. Most of the pipes had minor damage in the form of microfractures caused by blockages. Ben lifted yet another section of paneling and saw something odd. He hadn’t encountered this before. One of the cylinders was heavily dented and the other two… had been slashed open. It was a clean cut and hadn’t been due to a freak nature accident with the plumbing.

“Sertali, can you check the pressure in line B-2 for me?” Aarzio asked as he bolted down one of his repaired pipes.

“One second,” The Selonian muttered as she worked on a conduit that was slowly oozing brown liquid.

Sertali was next to the control panel, but she was busy so Ben got up to go look at the pressure readings. He unlatched the cover and looked for the B-2 line. There were a surprisingly large number of pressure monitors and controls for the facility.

“It’s at 27 psi,” Ben reported once he found the correct readout.

“It’s a little low,” Aarzio muttered. “Come here and help me fix it, Ben.”

Ben started to close the panel when he noticed a slowly blinking red light reflecting off the cover. He bent down and looked into the box behind the instruments, searching for the odd anomaly. It might be indicative of another problem with the plumbing. The source was a small black device with two cylindrical tubes attached to it. There was a display on the front, counting down.

_15… 14… 13…_

Ben’s heart went into overdrive as he recognized the device. A liquid propellant bomb was old-fashioned, but it would get the job done all the same.

“There’s a bomb!” Ben shouted, backing away. He dragged Sertali up, startling the Selonian into hissing at him.

Ivin stood still for a split second before springing into action.

“Get out of here! Go!” He shouted, pushing Aarzio ahead of him.

They were the first out the door, with Sertali and Ben on their heels. They’d barely made it a few feet from the facilities when the blast wave shoved them forward and sent them into the ground. A veritable fountain of sewage was blasted into the air and it rained down on them, covering them from head to toe. Ben tried to heave in some much-needed air, but that’s not what entered his mouth. His stomach revolted and he vomited up everything he’d eaten that morning.

When he finally gained control over himself, he wiped sludge from his face, hands, and hair; that didn’t help much. He was grateful to see that his guards had fared no better than he and were busy casting up their accounts. Well, they may be covered in shit and extremely nauseated, but they’d all made it out alive.

“What in Sith hells happened?” Poe demanded as he ran into the area.

He was followed by what seemed like the entire base. Some of them were already in flight suits, ready for the upcoming battle. They all stood at a safe distance, gawking at the sight before them. Ben looked at what was left of the latrines. If possible, it looked worse than before they’d started working on it.

“Someone sabotaged the facilities,” Ben reported as he stood up and tried to ignore the waste dripping down his jacket and pants and pooling in his boots. “There was a bomb in the control panel.”

“Did you see the bomb?” Poe asked Ivin, glaring at Ben suspiciously.

“No, but I’m not inclined to disbelieve him,” Ivin reported clinically, casting a glance back at the smoking wreckage. The Zeltron’s hair had turned an awfully dark shade of red, becoming almost black to reflect his inner mood. “If Ben hadn’t warned us, we all would have died.”

“The maintenance crews check that control panel every day to make sure the facilities are functioning correctly,” Larma mentioned; her nose twitched as the offensive smells reached her. “They would have noticed a bomb.”

“It must have been placed there recently,” Rose argued as she gallantly helped Sertali to her feet. “Someone knew Ben would be here this morning.”

“Who could have known?” Aarzio asked as he stomped free of the spreading mess. “ _We_ didn’t know about it until an hour ago.”

“This wasn’t an accident. The pipes were slashed open,” Ben told him as he walked clear of the pools. Anger rose in him; someone had deliberately tried to kill him! “They knew the protocols for fixing the latrines-”

“And they figured I would order _you_ to fix it,” Poe finished, shock splayed across his face. “The perfect opportunity to get rid of you.”

“Too bad it didn’t work!” Someone called out from the crowd.

Ben couldn’t see who said it. His fists clenched in anger and a growl rose in his throat. He could understand someone having an issue with him, but the bomb wouldn’t have killed just him. It would have harmed Ivin, Aarzio, and Sertali, and that didn’t sit well with him. He actually liked them. A deep rage thrummed through his body, the energy spilling outward. The pool of waste behind him rippled; the resistance backed away warily, growing alarmed at his display of power. They needn’t have worried though; Ben lost control over the power as quickly as he’d been able to harness it.

“This isn’t a trivial matter, people!” Poe was shouting into the crowd of people. “We are the Resistance! We cannot stoop to this petty behavior. Whoever did this almost killed three of their brothers and sisters! We cannot afford to lose more people. This is completely unacceptable and I want to know who is responsible for this!”

A young, blonde woman with luminous green eyes stepped forward; she was the one who usually served food, whereas the other resistance people took turns.

“I have a tent close by,” She pointed at a larger tent near the perimeter. “I was up early to prepare first meal for the base and I saw three figures enter the latrines. I thought it was odd since I’m usually the only one who is awake at that hour on this side of the base.”

“Did you see who they were, Tawna?” Rose’s face became pinched as she learned there may be more than one culprit.

“Two of them had their backs to me. I only saw one of their faces,” Tawna swallowed heavily. “It was Anzen Tirel.”

“Where’s Anzen?” Poe asked darkly, looking around.

Everyone muttered to each other as they looked around, but no one stepped forward. Ben noticed Winn Bris and the woman next to him fidgeting and trying to hide their anxiety. He narrowed his eyes, knowing somehow that they were the other two people Tawna had seen.

“I have him, Poe,” Rey called out as she pushed a man through the crowd of resistance fighters. They parted ways before the furious woman. “He was stealing aboard his starfighter.”

“I was getting ready for the mission!” Anzen defended himself, wrenching himself from Rey’s firm grasp. “What’s going on?”

“Tawna saw you and two others enter the latrines early this morning,” Poe said grimly. “We know you’re responsible for-“

“You fucking bitch!” Anzen roared and lunged at Tawna.

Ben shoved the defenseless female behind him and punched Anzen in the face. The man stumbled backward and was seized by Captain Gser.

“I’ll take that as confirmation of your involvement,” Poe gritted out. “Why, Anzen? You almost killed all four of them.”

“What?” Anzen’s jaw dropped as he noticed the destruction done to the latrine facilities.

“The bomb you planted would have killed them if Ben hadn’t discovered it in time.” Poe continued.

“You think…” Anzen struggled in Daria’s grasp. “No! We didn’t mean to kill anyone! We just wanted to make their lives miserable.”

“Well, mission fucking accomplished,” Aarzio spat on the ground.

“Who else was involved?” Poe asked; he looked slightly ill. He clearly didn’t want to take Ben’s side, but he couldn’t let this infraction stand.

“Bris and Aragen,” Anzen ratted his co-conspirators out.

People stepped back from Winn and the woman next to him to get out of the line of fire.

“Winn, Ryla?” Poe raised an eyebrow at the duo.

Winn swallowed hard and stepped forward.

“We slashed the pipes, but we didn’t plant a bomb,” Winn’s eyes flicked nervously between the resistance leaders, who were all wearing various expressions of shock and anger. “No matter how much I hate that traitor’s guts, I wouldn’t do anything to harm my brothers and sisters.”

“It’s remarkable how short your memory is,” Ivin accused him.

Winn blushed as he recalled how he’d almost busted Rose’s head in a few days ago.

“That was a mistake,” Winn muttered repentantly.

“He’s telling the truth, general,” said the black-haired woman. She stepped forward, holding her hands out entreatingly. “We didn’t mean any harm.”

“I don’t care about your reasoning, Ryla,” Poe retorted. He waved a hand at the latrine remnants and the disheveled state of Ben and his guards. “Does this look like a harmless prank?”

“No, sir,” Ryla dipped her head.

People in the crowd muttered amongst themselves. Ben could hear that the general consensus was that Poe was going too hard on them. The traitor deserved more than some discomfort. Who cares if someone had planted a bomb? They’d be better off without him.

“Stars above, people!” Poe shouted; there was a flash of despair in his eyes before steely resolve took over. “We need Ben in order to defeat the First Order! If I can put aside my grudge with him to focus on the bigger picture, then you can too!”

Everyone watching the proceedings looked away guiltily. When Poe phrased it that way, they couldn’t help feel childish for attacking Ben.

“We’re flying out in one hour! Everyone, get back to making the final checks,” Poe ordered. “The Venjagga system and our sister bases are counting on us. I will not allow this mission to be jeopardized because of this!”

The resistance fighters dispersed quickly except for those involved in the incident and the Resistance leadership. The pilots and mechanics fled to the shipyard and the others went to their duty posts for the day.

“Rey, who’s telling the truth?” Poe asked, sighing deeply.

“Why are you asking her?” Ryla asked angrily.

“Because she’s Force-sensitive and wasn’t involved in this whole… mess,” Poe said.

“They’re all telling the truth,” Rey said after a moment of examining them all. “Tawna saw three people enter the facility and Ben discovered slashed piping and the bomb, but Anzen, Winn, and Ryla didn’t place the bomb.”

“So who would want to murder Ben bad enough to risk killing three members of the resistance?” Poe was at a loss for answers.

“The question should be who _doesn’t_ want to kill me,” Ben grumbled, getting frustrated and finding it hard to retain some dignity. He was getting very uncomfortable in his filthy clothing and waste was still trickling down from his hair. He just wanted to clean up and take a run through the jungle, but he had a feeling the latter wouldn’t be happening anytime soon.

“We don’t have time to solve this now,” Poe said finally. He looked to Rey and lowered his voice. “We need to prep for our infiltration of the Vartier.”

Ben blinked. The Vartier was an Endurance-class star destroyer that typically was tasked to collect information and cargo. What were Poe and Rey doing, talking about sneaking aboard a First Order vessel that would be nowhere near Venjagga?

“Winn, Anzen, Ryla. I’m taking you off active duty,” Poe directed at the pilots, talking louder as they protested. Anger tinged his voice, showing how he really felt. “You’re not going on the mission. You’re going to spend however long it takes to suction up this mess and rebuild the latrines. Maybe that will make you think twice the next time you waste everyone’s time.”

“You’re taking _his_ side over ours?” Anzen asked incredulously as he jabbed a finger at Ben.

Winn and Ryla remained silent, not wanting to invite Poe’s wrath on them any more than they already had. Instead, they glared daggers at Ben.

“He didn’t sabotage the facilities,” Poe defended his decision. “You did.”

Anzen shouted wordlessly in frustration and clenched his fists in frustration. His gaze shifted between Poe and Ben several times. Ben stepped to shield Tawna better from the enraged pilot.

“We’ll discuss disciplinary action later. Get to work, you three,” Larma ordered, cutting through the tense silence. “Ben, Mixa, Aarzio, Sertali. Go get cleaned up.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Ivin nodded and motioned for Ben and the others to follow him.

Ben smirked, happy he no longer had to deal with the latrines. Things were looking up.

“Ben, watch out!” Rose warned in a high-pitch tone.

An angry shout of a deeper timber sounded behind him. Ben turned to see Anzen launching himself at him. Aarzio intercepted the enraged man and made to unholster his blaster, but Anzen reacted faster and decked him in the eye; Aarzio fell to the ground, half-conscious.

Ben shifted into a fighting stance, grounding himself as Anzen attacked. He wished Ivin would just give him a blaster; it would make dealing with the constant attacks so much easier. His fist flew forward to jab at Anzen’s head, but met empty air as Anzen was tackled by a creature covered in dark green scales and sporting a pair of bright white wings.

Ivin and Sertali reached Ben a few seconds later and pulled him back as Anzen and the creature landed with a huge splash in the pool of debris and lifeform refuse. The creature shrieked and viciously slashed at Anzen’s throat with its wickedly sharp talons. He barely managed to dodge, fear making his eyes bulge with terror.

“Help!” Anzen pleaded as he kicked out at the creature. He screamed as the long talons shredded up his legs and left deep gouges. “Get her off me!”

“Tawna, stop!” Poe shouted at the creature.

The avian humanoid ignored the order and snapped at Anzen’s exposed belly with a curved beak. She missed with all his thrashing and only managed to damage his jacket.

“That’s Tawna?” Ben asked faintly. He looked around for the shy, blonde woman, but she’d disappeared. Evidently, she’d morphed into the terrifying winged creature who was attacking Anzen Tirel.

“Yes,” Ivin nodded, clutching his blaster tightly.

“Tawna, over here!” Rose waved her arms, but Tawna’s bright green gaze was firmly locked on her prey.

She lunged in for the kill, but she was suddenly levitated into the air. Tawna snarled viciously and struggled against invisible bonds. Anzen scrambled to his feet and hobbled behind Rey, whose hands were raised and eyebrows were furrowed in concentration.

“You should lock up that Jixiti bitch and her devil daughter!” Anzen screamed in a high octave as he desperately clutched at his wounds. “She could have killed me!”

Tawna hissed viciously and flapped her wings vigorously, sending gusts of putrid air wafting over them. Her eyes promised his death when she got free.

“Captain Gser, cuff him!” Poe ordered after he stopped looking like he was going to hurl.

“What! What did I do?” Anzen struggled as Daria slapped some cuffs on his wrists and dragged him to his feet.

“Aarzio, are you alright?” Ivin helped a dazed Aarzio to his feet as Poe laid into Anzen about attacking a valuable asset of the resistance.

Aarzio’s eye was already starting to swell up. Ivin used a light touch to wipe away fecal matter from the area, trying to gauge the damage done.

“Ouch!” Aarzio hissed but remained still under the captain’s hand. “I’ll be fine, Mixa.”

“You need to see a healer,” Ben disagreed.

There was a cut near his eyebrow and it was dripping blood. With all that had happened today, there was a good chance it would become infected if it wasn’t seen to.

“I agree with Ben; you’re not doing anything else today before you get this healed,” Ivin said worriedly as he grabbed a first aid kit from his belt.

Luckily, it was wrapped in secure packaging to prevent contamination before usage. The Zeltron wiped Aarzio’s face with a clean cloth and gently dabbed bacta gel on the injury. He held Aarzio’s chin firmly as he spread the gel evenly, making sure not a spot was missed. He brought his face close to Aarzio to examine his work.

“The swelling is already going down and the cut is closing up,” Ivin nodded slightly in satisfaction. “How do you feel?”

“I feel good,” Aarzio said with a twinkle in his eye.

The Zeltron noticed their close proximity and blushed a deep purple.

“Um, yeah. That’s good,” Ivin stammered and moved backward. He coughed and tried to regain his professionalism. “You should still see Larma to get a full scan.”

“Poe?” Rey called out, her voice strained.

Ben was alarmed to see her turning red in the face and her arms trembling. Tawna was still thrashing in her invisible grip, making it necessary for her to use more energy to keep the Jixiti from breaking free. Poe was still chewing out Anzen and didn’t hear her. Ben rushed to her and placed his arms under hers to support her.

“You’re expending too much energy. You’ll hurt yourself and Tawna trying to keep her in the air,” Ben explained as he pressed his front to her back to steady her. “Breathe deeply and ground yourself in the earth.”

“Sort of hard to do that right now,” Rey protested through shallow breaths, but her muscles shifted and relaxed as she took his advice. Tawna eased her desperate struggle to break free, but her piercing screeches continued and her fierce gaze did not leave Anzen.

“Poe!” Ben hollered, cutting through the noise from Tawna, the general’s ranting, and Anzen’s cries of denial.

“What!” Poe growled as he turned to them.

“Can you finish up? I can’t hold Tawna back forever!” Rey shot back.

“Right. Daria, if you would be so good as to escort Mr. Tirel to the brig?” Poe asked through gritted teeth. “Larma can tend to his wounds there and I’ll deal with him when I return.”

“Yes, general,” Daria would have saluted, but she had her hands full with a resisting Anzen.

“I’ll accompany you, captain,” Aarzio grabbed one of Anzen’s arms. “I need a checkup from Larma to make sure I didn’t get a concussion from this asshole.”

Daria and Aarzio dragged Anzen away; the man shouted curses and alternated between limping and hopping as he was forced to keep up with them. Winn and Ryla had been watching the proceedings with wide-eyed interest, but when Poe turned his gaze on them, they ran towards the damaged latrines to start the repairs.

Rey lowered Tawna to the ground as Anzen and his escorts disappeared into the crowd of tents. The Jixiti growled as she crouched in a defensive position, ready to spring forward at a moment’s notice. The bright white wings were flared and she held a protective hand over her belly. Her glowing green eyes flicked between them all, lingering longer on Ben and the blaster held tightly in Ivin’s hand.

“Tawna,” Rose took a step forward. The Jixiti clicked her beak in warning. “Why don’t you change back and we’ll go see how Ava is doing?”

Tawna’s defensive position relaxed and she let out a questioning chirp.

“Sek’min is taking the children on a field trip to explore the plant life he’s been covering in class,” Rose said soothingly. “Ava is quite excited to go see the miri flowers, remember?”

Tawna lowered her wings and the appendages were sucked into her torso. The sharp talons shortened into small fingernails and the curved beak shrank and became a pair of pink lips. Her dark green scales sank inward and disappeared, though Ben could see green-tinted impressions of scales on her skin. A shock of white-blonde hair sprouted from her head and grew to her waist. Only her luminous green eyes remained the same.

Tawna gasped and swayed on her feet and her transformation was completed. Her clothes hung loose on her body, having been ripped as she morphed into her alternate state. Rose leaped forward to support her, uncaring of the sewage she had to wade through to do it.

“Did I kill him?” Tawna groaned as she clutched her head.

“No, but it was close,” Rose chuckled as she guided the young woman to more stable ground.

“I lost control again,” Tawna cried in dismay. “General Dameron, I’m so sorry!”

“It’s alright, Tawna. I understand why it happened,” Poe took her hands and looked her in the eye. “Anzen will be fine; you didn’t cause any permanent damage.”

“I’ll be more careful, I promise,” Tawna said earnestly as a tear rolled down her cheek. “You won’t regret letting me stay here.”

“I don’t have any regrets about that, Tawna,” Poe said sternly. “You are an invaluable member of the resistance and your daughter is a joy to have around. I won’t see you turned out.”

“Thank you, general!” Tawna beamed up at him. Then she blinked and turned to Rose as she tried to gather her thoughts. “Did you say something about Ava? Is she alright?”

“Ava is fine,” Rose assured her. “She and the other children are excited to go on a scavenger hunt in the jungle.”

“I promised Sek’min I would help,” Tawna looked in dismay at the sun overhead. “It’s almost mid-day. I’m going to be late!”

“Let’s get you cleaned up first,” Rose stopped Tawna from breaking into a run. “Poe, I’ll meet you in the command center in fifteen minutes.”

Poe nodded and the two women walked away. He turned to Rey.

“We need to go over the specs before we leave,” Poe said. “Finn will be wondering where we are, if he hasn’t heard about this whole fiasco already.”

He walked off in the direction of the command center and Rey followed. Ben fell into step next to her, not willing to go get clean until he got the information he wanted.

“Why are you infiltrating the Vartier?” Ben asked, easily keeping pace with her.

Poe scowled and marched on ahead, leaving Ben and Rey behind with Ivin and Sertali.

“Poe shouldn’t have let that slip,” Rey said evasively.

“That star destroyer isn’t a fighting vessel,” Ben pressed on, unwilling to let it go. “It won’t be at the battle today, so why was Poe talking about it?”

Rey sighed in exasperation. “Because we’re going to sneak aboard and steal information while the First Order is distracted by the fight in the Venjagga system.”

“I don’t like it,” Ben said immediately.

Logically, he knew Rey would be fine; he knew firsthand how good a fighter she was. But he also knew what a star destroyer was capable of, even one used for cargo. Thousands of stormtroopers would be aboard that vessel and it would only take one of them to raise the alarm and the whole ship would be after her.

“We’ve done it a few times before,” Rey shrugged off his concerns. “And we haven’t been caught.”

“I still don’t like it,” Ben reiterated, willing her to see reason. “You don’t need to be taking those risks.”

“We need information on the First Order’s movements,” Rey countered as they neared the edge of the encampment and stopped. “Without Maz’s source, we’re blind. This is the least risky way we’ve thought of to regain that information.” She cut him off as he opened his mouth to make a counterargument. “I know it’s dangerous, but this really is the only way to stay ahead of the First Order.”

Ben swallowed his words and a heavy lump settled in his chest. She had to take these risks because he hadn’t contributed any worthwhile information to the resistance yet. Damn it! He just couldn’t think of anything at the moment.

“Be safe,” Ben said instead.

“I’ll see you tonight,” Rey promised and hesitated for a moment before kissing his cheek.

She walked into the command tent without another word.

Ben gazed after her. Come back to me, he thought worriedly. He didn’t like these feelings inside him, the gnawing anxiety or the simmering anger that threatened to rage out of control within him. He shoved the emotions away. Rey would be fine. 

“Come on, Ben. She’ll be fine,” Ivin said.

Ben twitched. He swore the captain could read his mind, but he knew that wasn’t possible for an empath.

“Let’s get cleaned up,” Ivin walked towards the tree line. His arms were full of tin cans Ben hadn’t noticed him picking up.

“I second that,” Sertali said, her arms holding similar items.

She dumped half of them into Ben’s arms. All of the containers were marked the same: ‘Ugora’s Industrial Strength Soap! Apple-Scented’.

“I can’t believe she kissed you. She must really like you.” Sertali said as she marched ahead.

“Of course she does. He’s covered in shit from head to toe and she still kissed him,” Ivin remarked as he picked his way carefully down a dirt trail. The sound of rushing water came from up ahead. “Takes a special person, that does.”

“I think you mean a strong stomach,” Sertali grinned widely.

Their gentle ribbing did nothing to lighten Ben’s mood. His insides were still twisting as scenarios flashed through his mind of the various ways Rey could be harmed on her secret mission. And if she did get hurt or captured, he’d be powerless to help her.

The trees thinned and they walked onto the bank of a rushing river. There was a small grouping of rocks that created a natural bathing area where the water current was slow-moving.

“Last one in is a rotten fish!” Sertali exclaimed as she dumped the items in her arms on the ground and landed with a huge splash in the pool; the water around her turned murky as she shook away the waste clumped in her fur.

Ben smiled and followed suit, though in a more sedate manner. The water was cold and brisk as it swept by him. He used the soap in five of the containers to wipe away the offending mess on his body and clothes. Ivin was doing the same with quick, effective strokes. The soap suds and filth were swept away by the river currents. Instead of using soap, Sertali had elected to brush against the thick pads of moss covering the rocks. Her pelt turned sleek and clean as she happily rubbed away.

“I hope it’s not too late to join the party,” Aarzio commented as he jumped into the pool with them.

“How is your head?” Ivin peered at Aarzio’s wound.

“Larma gave me a clean bill of health and more bacta gel to put on the cut for a few days,” Aarzio reported as he accepted a fresh bar of soap. He smiled vindictively. “She says it will take Anzen longer to heal.”

“I’m glad you’ll be alright,” Ivin’s hand lingered on the guard’s shoulder a moment too long to be merely friendly.

A bell clanged and echoed throughout the trees.

“Aw, shit. We’re gonna miss mid-day meal.” Aarzio grumbled as he heard the strident tones.

“We have nutrient bars,” Ivin reassured them as he unpackaged another bar of soap and started on his hair.

They spent several minutes scrubbing away; the soap truly did wonders as it ate away the sewage and left their clothes and skin clean and smelling of apples. Ben took off his waterlogged boots and gave them a quick scrub too and put them on the shore to dry. He hopped out of the water and lay on the grass under the bright sun. He took in a breath of clean air and the turmoil inside him lessened; he was still tense but didn’t feel the need to bash in someone’s head anymore.

Aarzio splashed out of the river and made a racket with the containers before flopping down next to Ben.

“Here.”

Something prodded Ben in the shoulder and he opened one eye to glare balefully. Aarzio dropped a nutrient bar on his chest and then tossed another one to Ivin as the Zeltron waded out of the river. Sertali was still happily swimming in the river; she’d ventured out into the stronger currents, but they were no match for an aquatic creature. Ben sighed and opened the packaging and bit into the densely packed gray and brown bar. It tasted worse than a reconstituted bread roll.

The three of them sat on the bank, eating nutrient bars and waiting for the sun to dry their clothes. After a while, a huge commotion reverberated through the jungle with no warning. The sound of many engines firing up blasted through the trees. Starships filled the sky and rose quickly into the atmosphere. Ben recognized the Falcon among them. He watched as the Falcon shrank into a pinpoint in the sky and disappeared with a flash of light as it entered hyperspace. His appetite fled as he was reminded of his worry for Rey’s safety. He rewrapped the remaining half of the food bar and shoved it in a pocket of his drying leather jacket.

An annoying beeping noise sounded and Ivin took out his comm to decline the incoming message. They had a few moments of peace before his comm beeped again. Ivin sighed and activated the comm.

“IVIN!”

They all jumped and shot into a sitting position as Baso’s loud voice washed over them.

“What is it, chief?” Ivin asked, a hint of weariness in his voice.

“You’re late! Get your butts to the shipyard before I lose my patience!” The comm crackled as Baso’s volume rose and then cut out entirely.

“We are late,” Ivin confirmed as he looked at his timepiece. “By twenty-five minutes.”

“Our shift doesn’t start until 1500 hours!” Aarzio protested.

“No, it’s earlier today,” Ivin groaned as he stood up and stretched. “With the battle so soon, Baso had to prioritize refurbishing the spaceships. A lot of other work got pushed to the side and it’s piling up. I promised her we would start on it right after the ships left for the battle.”

“Well… fuck,” Aarzio muttered as he stood and wiped grass from his person.

He offered a hand to help Ben up, but he refused and stood on his own. Ben glared in the direction of the shipyard. It was time to return to his daily torment of being yelled at.

“Sertali!” Ivin called out to the Selonian in the middle of the river. “We need to report to Baso!”

Sertali immediately swam to the shore; her powerful tail let her easily cut through the strong channels. Her jaws were clamped down on a struggling bright pink fish; blood spurted as she chomped down on it and swallowed it. She licked the red droplets off her whiskers as she exited the water and shook the water from her fur.

They all gathered the empty soap containers and trudged back up the dirt path; Ben noticed darkly that Sertali was the only one who seemed re-energized by their dip in the river. They dumped the containers in a trash receptacle and walked towards the shipyard. It was odd walking through the base with a quarter of the people there. Some resistance fighters were milling around. Ben grumbled to himself as they were hard-pressed to hide their smiles and chuckles at Ben and his guard’s bedraggled appearances. Ben found himself in an extremely foul mood as he entered the shipyard.

"What sort of time do you call this!" Baso yelled at Ben and the guards as they entered the shipyard. "You're over a half-hour late for your shift. We're already behind and in case you forgot, we're prepping for a war against the First Order!"

"We were unavoidably delayed," Ivin tiredly said.

"Not only are you making excuses for your tardiness, you show up smelling of shit!" Baso shook her head as she berated them.

"We could smell worse," Ben retorted sharply. The soap had done a lot to dissipate the smell in addition to the mess. If she did smell something, it was wafting over from the latrines, not them.

"ARE YOU GIVING ME LIP, SKYWALKER?" Baso shouted, getting in his face. She made a disgusted noise and wrinkled her nose as she backed away to put a few feet of distance between them.

"No," Ben pressed down the urge to rise to the bait. He'd been trying to think before he acted the past few days, but it was so much harder when he was tired and already pissed off. If he were back on his star destroyer, he’d already be slicing into a lighting panel.

"WELL, YOU CAN SPEND THE NEXT FIVE HOURS FIXING MY ENGINES!" Baso blasted at him, pointing towards a veritable mountain of engine assemblies. Ivin hadn’t been kidding when he said the work had been piling up. "I DON'T WANT TO HEAR A PEEP FROM YOU UNTIL THEY ALL WORK FLAWLESSLY!"

Ben bit his lip and nodded.

"Ivin! Tam! I want you working on fuselage repairs," Baso directed.

"But we need to stay -" Ivin started to protest while gesturing at Ben.

"I'M NOT A MORON, IVIN!" Baso boomed. "YOU MAY BE UNDER ORDERS TO GUARD SKYWALKER, BUT YOU CAN VERY WELL DO THAT WHILE YOU WORK. YOU'LL ONLY BE TWENTY FEET AWAY FROM THE BOY!"

"Yes, chief," Ivin snapped to attention.

The captain gave Ben an assuring nod, but there was a flicker of worry in his eyes. He tugged Aarzio with him towards the battered groupings of fuselages; the parts were in dire need of repairs. Some had holes from blaster fire and others had wires springing out in every direction.

"HILS, I'M PUTTING YOU ON REASSEMBLY DUTY!" Baso barked at the Selonian. "I DON'T TRUST ANY OF THESE AMATEUR KNUCKLEHEADS TO DO IT WITHOUT SUPERVISION YET!"

"Aye-aye, chief," Sertali glanced between Baso and Ben, as if unsure why they were being split up. But she ultimately pattered off and joined a group of frazzled-looking mechanics working on a half-refurbished X-wing.

"DID I STUTTER, SKYWALKER?" Baso shouted at Ben while he stood still, trying to comprehend the sudden change in their duties. "GET TO WORK!"

Ben tamped down a bitter response and headed towards the engine pile. He stared at it all, at a loss for what to do. He noticed a holoreader placed next to the bucket of tools, labeled 'Engine Schematics'. He activated it and saw hundreds of directories for engines of all makes. He opened one and a 3D image of the selected engine popped up. There was a setting to show the part layer by layer, from the minutest piece parts up to the finished product; there were even instruction bubbles detailing dimension and torque requirements and how to assemble the parts. This should be easy enough. He could follow instructions.

Ben picked the least beat-up engine in the group and punched in its serial number into the holoreader. The engine's design came up and he wondered what to do next. Well, first things first, he had to figure out what was wrong with it. He grabbed the bucket of tools and examined what he'd been given to work with. Ah-ha! He snatched up a conical scanner and plugged the attachment into the holoreader; he'd seen his father use one of these before to determine what was wrong with the Falcon’s equipment. All one had to do was point and scan; the device would do the rest and tell him what was wrong, so long as the software was compatible.

He fired up the program and pointed it at the engine, but nothing happened. Ben furrowed his eyebrows as he looked over the setup. He'd plugged in everything correctly, so what went wrong? A tiny blinking red light on the side of the scanner caught his attention. Damn it. He'd forgotten to turn it on. He pressed the button and the light turned solid green. Thousands of red lines sprang out from the scanner attachment, ready to scan. He ran the device over the engine part, measuring every nook and cranny. A tiny beep sounded when the software deemed the model complete. The red lines disappeared and a rendering of the engine sprang into the air; the nonconforming areas were highlighted in a pulsing red. He zoomed in on one part in the front and read the analysis. Two of the blades were broken; he needed to remove them and insert new ones.

Ben dragged the tool kit to the front of the engine; he grabbed a socket wrench and went to loosen the bolts holding the broken blades in place. He grunted as he applied pressure to the bolts, but they didn't budge. He needed a longer wrench, but there wasn't one in the kit. His gaze landed on a metal pipe about the length of his arm. That would do. He slid the pipe over the wrench's handle and tried it again. It worked and the bolt loosened; the other bolts came off quickly. The first blade he took out was marginally damaged; the ends were slightly cut up and there were a few dents in the middle. The second blade was completely stuck; it was mangled and bent in different directions. Ben tried to jimmy it out, but it refused to budge. He got a tight grip on the thin piece and pulled with all his might, but the only thing that moved was him. The dirt underneath him gave way and his feet slipped out from beneath him; as he fell backward onto his butt, the edges of the blade sliced up his hands. Ben hissed in pain and shook his hands angrily as the other mechanics sniggered at him. His short fuse blew and he hopped up and turned to face the people who dared to laugh at him; his hands clenched into fists despite the pain it caused him.

The anger left as quickly as it had come. The mechanics were grouped together in their own little bubble, not even looking at him; they were chuckling at a joke or comment one of them had made. Feeling stupid, Ben turned back to his work. He looked at his hands and deemed the injury unimportant; the cuts were shallow and would stop bleeding on their own. Serves him right for not wearing gloves. He snatched up a pair from the toolbox and put them on before kneeling back in front of the engine. He looked at the damaged engine blade, wondering how he was supposed to take it out. 

He took a flashlight and pointed the beam into the part, hoping it would give him answers. The light glinted in a curious direction. Ben realized there were metal pieces jammed into the blade's slot; he'd have to pry those out before the blade would move. He grabbed a screwdriver-looking tool with a flat edge and thrust it into the area; it took a few minutes, but the metal pieces finally came out. The blade slid out, screeching as metal scraped against metal. He cleaned the slots, making sure they were free of shavings and then bolted the new shiny blades in place. Ben picked up the holoreader again and went on to the next damaged section. Over the next fifteen minutes, he repaired one of the valves and patched up part of the hull. He smiled proudly at his first fixed engine, but his victory was diminished as he looked at the rest of the engines he needed to fix. One down, thirty or so to go.

Ben moved on to the next damaged engine and scanned it. It had the same problems as the first, but one of the model cross-sections showed one of the fuel tanks had a puncture; he would need to take apart the engine to get to it. He used a wrench to remove about fifty rusted bolts from the hull and took off the top outer shell; he pushed bundles of multi-colored wires out of the way and used a hydrospanner to remove the tiny screws securing the damaged fuel tank. Ben muttered to himself in frustration as he tried to navigate his large hands in the enclosed space. He managed to get the screws out and only lost a few; the punctured tank came out easily and Ben lowered a new one in. He double-checked it was placed correctly and the surrounding wires wouldn't get snagged before he reattached the bolts and the hull, even scanning it again. The rest of the damage was easy to repair within a few minutes.

A few hours passed as Ben scanned and fixed the engines. He'd found some complex issues regarding the fuel-intake pipes and wires that would be harder to fix than the others. He flagged those for later and moved on to the damage he could repair, such as bent blades, rusted initiators, and broken switches. Soon, all that was left to fix were the engines he'd set aside. Ben read the instructions on the 3D model detailing how to replace the hundreds of wires and connectors, but it was just a jumble of words to him. Whoever had written the instructions had used shorthand Aurebesh instead of the standard format; the terminology meant nothing to him. Mechanics must rely on tribal knowledge for these repairs and his background was not in mechanics and engineering. Sith hells. What was he supposed to do now?

"Stuck?" Sertali asked as she passed by; the whiskers on her snout flexed as she smiled.

"No," Ben stubbornly replied and turned away from her.

He refused to admit he was having trouble. This was the first time he'd been given a solo project. He'd be damned if he asked for help and prove he couldn't complete a simple task.

"Then I suppose your expression of utter confusion is your way of showing you know what you're doing?" Sertali took a swig from the bottle in her hand and then handed it to him.

"Yes," Ben muttered as he accepted the bottle.

He unscrewed the lid and gulped down the refreshing, cold water.

"It looks like the line series Aurek-Cresh-5 and Leth-24 are damaged on this one," Sertali commented as she examined the model and compared the results with the engine. "You'll also have to strip out the navigation board; it's completely corroded."

"And how was I supposed to discern that?" Ben said hotly, swiping a hand through the hologram. "The instructions are gibberish."

"It's written in shorthand. Most mechanical terms are shortened or turned into acronyms for simplicity," Sertali explained as she went through the directory and pulled up a huge file. "Here's a library for common terms we mechanics use."

Ben huffed in frustration. The glossary would help with learning what parts the instructions were referring to, but that didn't mean he knew what to do with them.

"Tell you what, I'll stay a few minutes and give you some pointers," Sertali gave him a reassuring smile.

"I don't need-"

"Great, let's start with the wires," Sertali said as she excised the bundles with practiced moves. "It looks complicated, but it's really not. The wires are color-coded and marked with Aurebesh glyphs and numbers; they correspond to matching ports on the boards. It's important to know which glyphs correspond to fuel lines and which label the electrical cables. You don't want to mix those up and you certainly don’t want to connect them to the exhaust relays." She pointed at the ports marked with similar glyphs.

Ben grumbled to himself but didn't interrupt her. He set aside the water container and watched carefully so he could replicate her actions with the other engines. Now that she'd explained it, he could see how the lines were set in a certain arrangement. He took over and added in new wires, wrapping the sets together and installing them into a new fuel tank system under Sertali's watchful eye.

"See? You're doing great," Sertali praised him.

Ben grunted in response, though he was secretly pleased he'd caught on so fast.

"I got it from here," He said as he scanned the next engine.

"If you need help again, I'll be over by the Taurian-7," Sertali nodded to a dark green vessel thirty feet away, partially obscured by other starships. She flipped the water thermos in her clawed hands and handed it to him. "Keep hydrated. I don't want you passing out on us."

"Sure thing," Ben said as the Selonian ran off in a quick blur.

He took another chug from the bottle and got back to work. Now armed with new knowledge, he was able to make quick work of the damaged fuel lines in the next few engines. The last engine was not at all the same though. He had to strip the entire hull off in several rusted pieces with a crowbar and then spend several minutes prying out sections of wiring to even understand what they were. He carefully thumbed through each crusty bundle trying to search for the line he knew was damaged, but as he searched, it became clear several bundles were damaged beyond repair. Stars above, this bundle was entirely fused together! No wonder the engine didn't work. He sighed and checked another section of the engine and encountered the same issue. He growled in frustration as he realized the entire engine was faulty; it was going to take forever to fix, if it was even worth it anymore.

Ben girded himself and reasoned that he may as well try to fix it. Baso wasn't going to let him just walk away from it, and his pride also demanded he complete the task he was given.

Ben detached the fuel lines leading into the tank and grabbed the hydrospanner. First things first, he had to get the tank out. He tried to loosen the bolts, but they were sealed in place by rings of grime and what looked like hardened fuel. He applied more force, his muscles flexing hard, but the bolts refused to budge even a little. Futilely, he reached out to the Force, but as always of late, it slipped from his grasp. He took in a deep breath to calm himself before he started raging at the heavens and beating the shit out of the engine. He had a feeling that wouldn't go over well here.

He focused on the task at hand and tried again, pushing all thoughts of violence out of his mind and letting calm persistence take its place. Baso needed the engine fixed today; failure was not an option. Something shifted in him, but he had no time to process it. The bolt squealed as it grated against the fuel tank and caught fire.

"Fuck!" Ben shouted, leaping back as a small fireball sprang out of the small opening, almost singing his face. Thank goodness his hair had been cut short otherwise the long strands would have caught on fire. He looked around desperately for something to put the blaze out.

The build-up of dried fuel covering the tank had still been flammable; it should have been rendered inert upon contact with air, but something had gone wrong. He unscrewed his water bottle, intending to use the liquid to stymie the flames, but a mechanic shouted for him to stop as they ran up.

"Don't!" The man said, panting hard. "It could react with the fuel!"

He aimed a small device on his wrist at the blaze and pressed a button. A spray of white foam fanned out and covered the fuel tank; the fire sputtered and died out as quickly as it had started.

"Thanks," Ben muttered, brushing speckles of foam off his arm. He'd been standing a little close.

"It happens every now and then," The older man pursed his lips, his brown eyes guarded. "Be more careful." He recommended before walking away.

As he was given the cold shoulder yet again, Ben reasoned that least the man hadn't cursed him and his lineage. But then, he smirked to himself, his parents were revered here.

"IS THERE SOMETHING TO BE HAPPY ABOUT, SKYWALKER?"

Ben would deny it to his dying day, but he jumped when Baso's irate voice sounded next to him.

"SETTING FIRES IN MY SHIPYARD IS SOMETHING I DO NOT TOLERATE!" Baso put her hands on her sturdy hips and glared at him.

"It's not my fault," Ben returned. "The spilled fuel didn't go inert like it was -"

"DID I ASK FOR EXCUSES?" Baso gestured at the mess before her. "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?"

Ben grimaced. It did look bad. Rusted pieces of the engine hull were scattered about, bundled wires were hanging out in a haphazard fashion, and tiny wisps of smoke were emanating from the foam-covered tank section.

"I - " Ben started to explain.

"IT'S SHODDY WORKMANSHIP IS WHAT IT IS!" Baso exclaimed. "NOW I'LL HAVE TO GET SOMEONE ELSE TO CHECK ALL THE WORK YOU'VE DONE. WHO KNOWS IF YOU DID IT RIGHT!"

"Okay, hold it right there!" Ben demanded, getting angry. "I may have accidentally lit this engine on fire, but the other ones are just fine!"

Baso opened her mouth to yell at him some more, but he cut her off. A tiny spark of something flitted in her dark eyes.

"I've been working on these the whole shift and I know I fixed them correctly!" He roared, jabbing a finger at said engines. "It's just _this_ one that's the problem!"

"Then fix it!" Baso waved at it.

Ben glowered and snatched the hydrospanner from where he'd dropped it on the ground in his hurry to back away from the fire. He brushed the foam that hadn’t dissipated after dissolving the tar-like fuel and loosened the bolts in quick succession. He tried to lift the fuel tank out, but no matter which way he turned it, he couldn't take it out; the frame had deformed and wouldn't fit through the small opening.

"Problem?" Baso said over his shoulder.

"No," Ben grumbled as he wiggled the tank, barely keeping the bite from his voice. He heaved in a deep breath, wishing she would go away.

"Do you know what to do?" Baso asked.

"Can you stop hovering?" Ben said brusquely. "You're starting to stress me out!"

"Deal with it, Skywalker," She flippantly said.

"I don't work well under pressure!" Ben shouted and ripped the tank out in frustration; foam and metal chips flew into the air.

"You're going to have to work under stressful situations, so you may as well get used to it now!" Baso shot back and he turned to glare at her. "If you think you're under pressure now, you're wrong. This is nothing compared to working during a battle when lives are on the line."

Ben growled under his breath, his grip tightening on the tank in his grasp as she antagonized him. Baso's gaze flicked down to the tank before coming back up; she raised one eyebrow, waiting for his response. Ben forced himself to unclench his hand, letting the irreparable tank crash into the hard-packed dirt before he did something he'd regret.

"If you're quite done with your temper tantrum, would you please get on with fixing my engine?" Baso asked.

"You'd be better off with a new engine," Ben muttered under his breath as he turned back to the thing that wasn't worth calling an engine.

"Why do you say that?" Baso inquired, coming closer to look at the wires he was ripping out.

"Look at it!" Ben waved impatiently at everything. "Almost all of the wires are fused together and the hull isn't worth cleaning and reassembling." He blinked and huffed in disbelief as he noticed yet more damage. "And it looks like fuel spread through the entire assembly when the tank ruptured. Even if I wanted to fix this piece of junk, it would probably explode when it's ignited. You'd be better off lighting this pile of metal scraps on fire!"

Ben panted as he ended his rant. Several days of bottled anger had led up to this outpouring of emotion though granted, it probably would have happened much later if the shitty events of this morning hadn't happened. He stalked over to the bucket of tools and chucked the hydrospanner in it, the scanner, holoreader, and gloves following it. He wasn't touching that engine again. Baso could shout at him all she wanted; he wasn't going to budge.

"Hmmm, you're right," Baso said.

Ben whirled around, opening his mouth to shout that he _was_ right when he processed that the chief had just agreed with him.

"What?" Ben said instead, shock replacing his anger.

"I said you're right," Baso said as she expertly examined the innards of the engine. "It's scrap. We can't use any of this."

The chief smirked at his dumbfounded expression and picked up the engine without trouble. Ben blinked; it had to weigh almost a thousand pounds and she was handling it like it was nothing!

"Follow me," Baso directed him, walking off with the engine.

Ben shuffled after her, wondering why the sudden change of mood. And when had she stopped shouting at him? Now that the red haze of anger and frustration had dropped from his vision, he registered the whispering mechanics around them. They had stopped their work to stare at him and Baso, giving them incredulous glances. Ben narrowed his eyes as he saw credits change hands. Had they been betting on the outcome of their spat?

"Here we are," Baso said as she set the engine down inside a barren clearing set away from the main shipyard.

There were five metal spikes sticking a few inches out of the ground, forming a circle around the engine. She grabbed a large rectangular device from a nearby box and pressed a button; it started beeping and emitting a red glow. She handed the square to him and he looked at it questioningly.

"We're scrapping the engine," Baso explained. "Put that inside it, preferably before it blows up."

The beeping noise increased in tempo and Ben practically chucked the bomb into a battered opening. Baso tugged him away from the engine and flipped a switch on one of the metal spikes; a light humming noise filled the air. The muffled beeping increased to a steady drone and then a fireball exploded into being, contained by a forcefield. When the inferno died down, nothing was left of the engine. Baso calmly flipped the switch again and the humming noise faded away.

"Good work, Skywalker," Baso praised him with a rare half-smile. "Go help Ivin and Tam for the rest of the shift."

"Yes, chief," Ben acknowledged the order as she walked away, still trying to comprehend what was going on. He'd done something right and had been praised for it? The notion was a strange one. He walked in a daze over to Captain Ivin and Aarzio, who were busily cleaning up their work station; they were a little too engrossed in their work, Ben thought suspiciously.

"Who won the bet?" Ben asked, narrowing his eyes at their uncharacteristic behavior. He liked to think he knew them well enough by this point to discern they were hiding something from him.

"What do you mean?" Ivin asked while Aarzio tried unsuccessfully to smother his snickering.

"Are you telling me you didn't bet on my confrontation with Baso?" Ben folded his arms and mock-glared at him. "Everyone else appeared to."

"It was the most interesting confrontation we’ve seen in months. People usually back down when Baso challenges them. Of course these two bet on the outcome," Sertali laughed as she sauntered up to them. "Don't deny it, captain. I saw you and Aarzio trading credits a few seconds ago."

“I admit nothing,” Ivin shrugged innocently.

They got back to work and Ben helped Ivin with a simple repair on a dented ship fuselage. He went stiff when he felt the captain’s clenched fist press into his hand and deposit something there. Ben looked in amazement at the small pile of bronze credits. Ivin gave him a wink and grabbed a hydrospanner to continue the repairs. Ben slipped the credits into a pouch at his waist and let a half-smile rise to his lips. He was almost beginning to like it here.

-oOoOoOo-

“What was that?” Rey gasped and grabbed the Falcon’s landing strut as a large explosion rang through the shipyard.

“Sounds like the disposal ring activating,” Poe said as he dragged the body of a First Order navigation droid down the ramp with Finn’s help. “Let’s get this droid to the command center. I want to download the information immediately and get a jump on the First Order.”

“I’ll go get Ben,” Rey craned her head towards the commotion.

“I’ll send someone to get him,” Poe huffed as he readjusted his grip on the inanimate droid.

“I’ll be quick,” Rey assured him. “You both got the droid?”

“Yeah. Go check on your boyfriend,” Finn smirked at her.

“It’s not official,” Rey sang over her shoulder as she moved towards Ben’s life signature.

“Mhmm,” One of them said.

Rey weaved through the few ships in the shipyard, walking quickly yet not too concerned as she could feel Ben was unharmed. She was a bit worried about what she was feeling through their bond recently. His current state of mind reminded her of the early days of their acquaintance where he’d felt nothing but rage and hatred. He’d been having trouble adapting these past few days, but he’d seemed to hit his stride until the events of this morning. She couldn’t believe Anzen Tirel had been the mastermind of the latrine sabotage; she’d been sure Winn Bris had been behind it until she’d caught a guilty Anzen trying to escape via a Zarkan-Poli one-seater starship.

Rey entered the main clearing and immediately sought out Ben working in the fuselage repair area with Mixa and Aarzio. He seemed fine to the outside world; only she could tell he wasn’t one-hundred percent happy. Ben looked up as she approached and a slight smile graced his lips; a barrage of happiness crashed over her through the bond, tinged with relief over her return.

“Hello,” Ben greeted her.

“Hello,” Rey sent a wave of reassurance to him, telling him she was alright; the mission had been a success. “Do you have a moment? We need you in the command center.”

“Yes,” Ben dropped his tools in a box and jumped to his feet. For such a large man, he was very graceful and fluid in his movements.

“You should ask the chief first, commander,” Ivin recommended, giving her a wink. “You know how snippy she gets when someone finishes their shift early without her leave.”

“That I do, Ivin,” Baso said as she materialized around a stack of containers.

Rey almost smiled as she felt Ben groan in his head. She wondered what else he’d been up to while she’d been sneaking aboard the Vartier.

“Commander,” Baso nodded her head politely. “What word do you bring of the battle?”

“At the last transmission, we’ve managed to heavily damage one of the star destroyers and drive it off. We are steadily picking off their battlecruisers. Our pilots sustained few casualties,” Rey reported, her heart heavy with the loss of life. Would it ever stop hurting her? “As we speak, General Antilles and Commander Chewbacca are leading the main charge against the remaining star destroyer while General Calrissian attempts to disable it from the rear.”

“The fight is going in our favor then,” Baso nodded in satisfaction.

“Yes, and we’ve managed to give most of our allies in the system time to evacuate.” Rey bobbed her head. “Chief, I need Ben in the command center. Can you spare him for the rest of the shift?”

Baso narrowed her dark eyes at them for a long moment. She nodded. “Go on, then.”

“I’ll accompany you, commander,” Aarzio stood up and wiped his hands on his grease-stained pants.

“No need,” Rey waved him back down. “I’ll escort Ben to the cantina afterward. You three are relieved until then.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Aarzio reluctantly sat back down.

Rey led the way out of the shipyard. Ben kept up easily and took her hand, his large hand engulfing hers. Rey blushed but clasped their fingers together. It wasn’t often that Ben was willing to display affection in public.

“I’m glad you’re safe,” Ben said in a low tone.

“I told you I would be,” Rey smiled up at him as they walked. “A simple retrieval mission. We get in and we get out without being seen.”

“What were you after this time?” Ben inquired.

“A ZT-120 navigation droid that could give us some insight into the First Order’s movements,” Rey said as she swept back the command center’s tent flap and entered the room.

Poe and Finn looked up as they entered and paused in taking apart the ZT-120. Ben dropped her hand as if he’d been burned; Rey tried not to let him feel how that affected her.

“So why am I here?” Ben asked, his voice turning clinical and withdrawn.

“We need to know if the information is accurate,” Poe said as he continued to carefully extract the ZT-120’s plating to get into its circuitry. BB-8 was on the ground next to him, setting down the droid’s severed arm. “With Artoo at General Calrissian’s base, I need someone else to look at the intel.” He looked up at Ben. “And I only have you.”

“We have no intel on the First Order’s plans without Maz’s source,” Rey explained further. “We were hoping we’d be able to extrapolate what systems they’re planning to attack with this ZT-120. We need you to tell us if this droid is carrying current data.”

Finn hooked up the droid’s exposed circuitry to a holoreader and a 3D image of the galaxy’s star systems beamed into the air. Hundreds of crisscrossed flight paths overlaid it; Rey was unable to detangle the sheer amount of data in front of her.

“One sec,” Finn mumbled as punched in commands to the holoreader.

The view zoomed into one quadrant of the galaxy and the tangle of lines became clearer. Tiny names hovered over each planet and star, some marked in red.

“The First Order had plans to invade Telzen-3,” Ben pointed to one of the planets. “Its moons are rich in a Dedlanite substitute. The Varki asteroids are also host to a mining operation that is favorable to the First Order.”

“What do they mine there?” Finn asked.

“I don’t know,” Ben shrugged. “Do you have intel on who’s the new Supreme Leader?”

“Why?” Poe narrowed his eyes at him.

“I might be able to tell you which star systems are likely to be attacked next,” Ben said as he took the holoreader from Finn and moved the display around.

“We don’t know anything definitive yet,” Poe admitted bitterly. “They’re keeping that information under wraps. We think they were a high-ranking officer under your command.”

“That doesn’t narrow it down,” Ben muttered to himself as he ran through the star systems; the holograms swirled in a dizzying display as he ran through them.

“What can you tell us?” Rey cut in before Poe could release his explosive temper; she could feel him battling with the urge to respond to Ben. Again, she wondered how close they’d used to be. Poe was less hot-headed and impulsive these days as he shouldered more responsibilities, but Ben had a knack for pushing his buttons more than anyone else Rey knew.

“There are only a people who would have the support to take command of the First Order in such a short time,” Ben pressed his lips together. “Jadriel Trem, Ossym Zachsil, and… Rokrisa Kandia.”

“I recognize those first two,” Finn said grimly. “Zachsil was the admiral on one of the star destroyers I served on; he had a penchant for taking out his frustrations on the crew. Trem is his friend and what he didn’t have in the way of intelligence, he made up for with brute strength. He was responsible for the massacre of the Yarli people.”

“Who’s this Kandia?” Rey asked; she was unnerved at the nervousness emanating from Ben as he’d said the name.

“She was a colonel on the Steadfast,” Ben supplied, his fingers tapping on the edges of the holoreader. “She was ruthless in carrying out her assignments; that’s why we liked her. She was good at getting people to do her bidding.”

“The Steadfast was destroyed,” Poe said with certainty. “I watched it go down.”

“Did you make sure there were no survivors?” Ben asked sarcastically.

“There wasn’t time during the battle,” Finn shook his head. “He’s right, Poe. Some of the people could have escaped.”

“So why didn’t she make a play for power before now?” Rey asked. “Surely when Snoke died-“

“She wouldn’t have dared while I was still there,” Ben said, gripping the holoreader so hard his knuckles turned white. “Her mind was an open book; I could see her ambition and what she really thought of the High Command. But I tolerated her because she was useful and I knew I was more than a match for her.”

The implication that Ben wouldn’t be able to stop Kandia’s bid for power was unspoken but clearly hung over all of them. In truth, if any of the people Ben had mentioned ascended to the position of Supreme Leader, it wouldn’t bode well for the Resistance’s chances. Ben was bothered by who’d likely assumed power, and that sent a chill down Rey’s spine. She didn’t want to find out what these people were capable of; they needed to stop the First Order _now_.

“Assuming one of them is the Supreme Leader, where will they strike next?” Finn got back to the point.

“Luckily, all three are driven by similar goals. They all aim to impress their ideology for a perfect galaxy onto everyone and assimilate the galaxy into an empire again,” Ben pointed towards several star systems in a close cluster. “They’ll strike those who’ve supported the Resistance in the past to send a message.”

“You speak as if you differed from them,” Poe snarked as he jotted down the names of the systems.

“Okay, let’s get something straight. I wanted to destroy the Jedi and everything Luke Skywalker worked for,” Ben snapped back and tossed the holoreader onto the table next to the disabled droid. Rey slid herself between Ben and Poe and had to use the Force to hold them both back. “I’ll admit I admired my grandfather and aimed to emulate him, but I don’t give a fuck about the old empire’s flawed ideology or the First Order’s attempt to recreate it.”

Silence fell as that shocking statement sunk in. It definitely hadn’t occurred to Rey that Ben hadn’t been a true believer of the First Order’s bid to commit mass genocide and subjugate the galaxy. She gazed at Ben with new eyes, wondering why he’d stood by and let it happen. Ben’s gaze met hers and read the accusation in them before she could hide it; his dark eyes hardened and his emotions through the bond grew muted as he stepped back.

“You were still their Supreme Leader,” Poe pointed out quietly.

“It doesn’t matter now though, does it?” Ben gritted out, waving a hand at their surroundings.

“I’d say it does,” Poe said relentlessly.

The two men glared at each other, unwilling to be the first to back down.

“We have enough to start planning our next move,” Finn cut through the tension-filled air as a bell tolled outside the tent. “Let’s eat and look at these maps tomorrow with fresh eyes.”

“Fine by me,” Ben stormed out of the tent, slapping the fabric flaps aside. BB-8 squealed and rolled out of the way to avoid being trampled.

Poe glared at the still-moving tent flaps. “BB-8, follow him and make sure he goes to the cantina.”

The little round droid beeped in agreement and rolled out of the tent.

“Poe,” Rey sighed in exasperation.

“You can’t be serious, Rey,” Poe shot back, slamming his hands on the table and sending small droid parts flying. “He’s not innocent in this! He’s not an idiot; he knew exactly what they were doing. He stood back and let the First Order destroy entire sectors and thousands of people and did nothing! That makes him as guilty as the generals who gave the commands.”

“I know he’s not perfect,” Rey felt like she was backed into a corner. She wanted to defend Ben, the disillusioned Jedi who’d been let down by every adult in his life, but he wasn’t solely that person anymore. “We have to give him a chance to redeem himself! I know he’s capable of being good!”

“I know, Rey. But it wouldn’t take much for him to turn again,” Poe said darkly. “We all thought Ben would carry on Luke’s legacy and be the next great Jedi. One day he was, but the next he was Snoke’s bitch. Who’s to say the next dark influence which comes along won’t lure him away?”

“You’re wrong,” Rey shook her head. “He won’t go back to the dark side.”

“I hope you’re right, but I have a different perspective,” Poe clearly didn’t believe a word she said.

“It _will_ be different this time,” Rey shot back and stormed out of the tent.

She knew everyone had their doubts about Ben’s allegiance. His loyalties had been extremely fluid but somehow, this time was different; she could sense a change in him. He would stay in the light this time; she would make sure of it.

Rey walked to the cantina and got into the line. Ben was only a few people ahead of her, so she decided to stay where she was. BB-8 was right on Ben’s heels and annoying him if Ben’s constant glares at the round droid were any indication. The line moved quickly since most of the base was at the battle; only Tawna Gyba was serving the food. The young Jixiti made shy conversation with everyone in line as she doled out healthy servings of roasted meat and mashed root vegetable.

“Hello, Tawna,” Rey greeted her when it was her turn to be served. “I like the way you styled your hair today,” She complimented the intricate mess of braids woven into the young woman’s blonde hair.

“Thank you!” Tawna’s eyes sparkled as she placed food onto Rey’s plate. “Ava found a new braiding style and wanted to try it out. Her hair isn’t long enough yet, so I let her and some of her friends use my hair.”

“She has great taste,” Rey grinned. “Did you both have fun on the field trip into the jungle? That was today, right?” The children’s field trip had been planned for today to keep them out of the way during the base preparations for the battle.

“Yes! Sek’min and I took the children into the meadows east of the base to learn about the plants there,” Tawna nodded enthusiastically. “We did some flower-picking after and now my tent is practically overflowing with flowers, but Ava had a wonderful time.”

“That’s wonderful, Tawna,” Rey beamed. “I’m glad-“

“Skywalker!” Baso’s ringing voice cut in. “Stop standing there like a spare end! Join us.”

Rey looked over to see Ben standing awkwardly with BB-8 at his feet and Baso gesturing for him to sit at her partially-filled table. Ben stepped warily toward the table, his expression guarded and obviously expecting the invitation to be rescinded at any moment. Rey said a friendly goodbye to Tawna and moved to join Ben.

“Oh good, you’re here too, Commander Rey,” Baso nodded her head respectfully. “Join us, please.”

Rey and Ben took the remaining seats at the table. The other people at the table, mostly seasoned mechanics and few people from comms, looked at each other as if to ask if this was actually happening. A couple of people started grumbling under their breath, grabbed their trays, and stood up.

“Wyan, Neri, sit down,” Baso ordered them with a pointed glance. “Last meal isn’t over yet.”

“He’s not one of us,” Kettplai Neri said plainly. “I will not subject myself to his corrosive presence.”

“Chief, you can’t be serious. Do you really expect us to eat with _him_?” Jecob Wyan argued more ferociously and pointed a fork across the table at Ben, disgust etched in his handsome features.

“Yes, I do,” Baso said firmly. “Now sit down and let’s have a civilized meal.”

Wyan and Neri stood stiffly and Rey could feel their confusion when no one else raised similar concerns or tried to leave the table. She wondered what Baso was up to; the chief usually ignored Ben unless he was in the shipyard.

“What the hell is going on? This isn’t like you, chief,” Wyan muttered darkly; his eyes darted to everyone still seated before finally landing on Ben. He sucked in a sharp breath and tightened his grip on his food tray. “What did you do to them? Did you brainwash them to like you? Isn’t it enough that you stole Rey away?” He asked in rising tones of panic.

Rey sighed in exasperation. She knew her relationship with Ben didn’t make sense to her new family, but for them to keep thinking she was brainwashed was getting tiresome. However, she kept quiet; this wasn’t her fight.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Wyan!” Baso rolled her eyes. “He has the inhibitor cuffs on and can’t do a damn thing.”

“No, he did something!” Jecob insisted, growing agitated as no one leaped to defend him; the commotion was starting to garner attention from the other tables. “I know he did! Why else would you accept him?”

“Perhaps because he’s done good work and kept his complaints to a minimum,” Baso said drily as she dipped a strip of roasted bird into the mashed roots. “And his actions so far prove he has changed somewhat and is willing to make a life with the Resistance. Poe says we need him, and I’m finally ready to believe that and have faith.”

“Just like that? Because he won a shouting match with you?” Jecob narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “That doesn’t strike you as odd?”

“Are you worried he will steal your job, Jecob?” A Nothoiin sitting next to Baso snarkily cut in.

“Among other things!” Jecob said petulantly. “Aren’t you worried, Megyad?”

“Hardly,” Megyad flipped her long braid of black hair behind her back and fixed a steely red-eyed gaze on him. “By all accounts, he’s a great pilot and fighter, but he’d make a shit mechanic.”

“I’ve done just fine,” Ben finally spoke up, his eyes flashing balefully.

“You can do the basics, simple repairs and the like,” Baso corrected him. “I suspect you wouldn’t know how to reassemble a Troduk transistor or decouple a triple plasma manifold from a fuel injector.”

Beside him, Rey could hear Ben gnashing his teeth.

“I wouldn’t,” Ben finally admitted after a few tense, silent seconds.

“See, Jecob? You have nothing to worry about,” Megyad said through a mouthful of food. “Now sit down and eat before your food gets cold.”

“You too, Kettplai,” Baso directed.

Kettplai had been silent through Jecob’s loud outbursts, choosing instead to listen and stare at Ben. Rey could almost hear her thoughts as she pondered what to do. The veteran pilot didn’t hate Ben, per se, but she was cautious of him. She wavered between walking away and sitting down for long seconds. Rey hid a smile as Kettplai nodded and took a seat.

“I will stay since you asked it of me,” she said gracefully. 

Jecob huffed in disbelief and slammed his tray down. He muttered a few choice words under his breath and retook his seat across from Ben. He angrily shoved food into his mouth and chewed hurriedly, eager to get this over with. The table fell silent; only the clinking of utensils against plates broke the silence.

Rey shifted on the bench to press her leg against Ben. He was sitting stiffly and refusing to meet anyone’s gaze, his emotions a swirl of disgruntlement and boredom. At her touch, he cast a sideways glance and smiled at her. A faint ‘thank you’ came through their bond.

“Ben, where has Poe been assigning you besides my shipyard?” Baso asked point-blank.

Everyone at the table turned their eyes on Ben as they awaited his answer.

“The medical tent… and comms,” Ben supplied shortly, using his fork to push around his food.

“Stupid fucking decision if you ask me,” Jecob muttered to the person next to him.

“I heard we received a new batch of medical supplies today,” Baso spoke a little louder.

Rey nudged Ben when it looked like he wasn’t going to respond. Baso was trying to include him in the conversation. No matter how awkward it was, this was a chance for him to build a good relationship with the Resistance fighters.

“Yes,” Ben poked holes in the mounds of mashed root vegetables on his plate. “Larma is well-equipped to take care of the base’s medical needs.”

“Which we’ll probably need when you snap and try to kill us all,” Jecob quietly added.

“I’ll snap your neck right now if you like,” Ben growled and raised his eyes to glare at the young mechanic.

“Not at my table,” Baso cut them both off. “Save your aggression for the training fields.”

“I doubt Poe will let me go there,” Ben said.

“Really?” Megyad raised her head sharply to stare at him in confusion. “Aren’t you going to be training Rey? Why else would Poe let you stay with us?”

“He’s here to give us insider information on the First Order,” Rey told them. A questioning emotion came from Ben. “I haven’t raised the topic of my training with Poe yet.”

Rey nudged Ben, sending a tacit apology through their bond. Ben’s presence on this base would be two-fold, supplying crippling information on the First Order and training her in the Jedi arts. But it was going to be a long walk to convince Poe to let Ben handle any weapon, let alone a lightsaber. Her friend bristled every time she tried to raise the subject.

“I’m sure the general will see reason,” Baso chuckled to herself and turned to a comms person at the other end of the table. “Tattara, one of the TX-7 battlecruisers in my shipyard is equipped with a new communications systems I’ve never seen before. It’s incompatible with the command center’s systems.”

“Mosla showed it to me today,” Tattara nodded in acknowledgment. “All the new starship models are coming off the manufacturing line with those modifications. We’ll need to update our comms system or find a way to link the two variations together.”

Ben relaxed as the table’s attention shifted away from him onto the Vratix. He finally started eating, but kept quiet and chewed his food mechanically. Rey sighed to herself. She guessed she could count the conversation as a win since it hadn’t devolved into a total shitstorm.

When the topic turned to the First Order’s communication capabilities, Ben turned into a wooden board again. Every line of his body screamed he didn’t want to be sitting here. Rey clasped their hands together and gave a comforting smile when he raised his brown eyes to look at her. He’d faced down Snoke and Palpatine; he could survive a conversation with a few Resistance fighters.

“It used to be easy to hack into the First Order’s communication systems. The TIE-fighters were their weakest points,” Kettplai waved her fork emphatically. “It’s only been within the last year we’ve had a harder time getting the information we need. It must be the security improvements the industry has made with the new starship models. Even Mosla is at a loss for what to do.”

"It's not new tech, it's specialized old tech."

Even Rey was surprised by Ben's sudden input. Ben took another bite of his food, looking unaffected by their attention.

"What do you mean?" Kettplai broke the silence cautiously.

"The First Order implemented a more secure communications systems after we detected a possible mole. The comms system is routed through various hyperspace communication nodes throughout the sectors," Ben shrugged nonchalantly as if he wasn't relaying ground-breaking information. "The change was kept quiet and only select technicians and high-level officials know about it."

"Holy shit," Kettplai breathed in disbelief. "That's it. That's what we've been missing!"

"No wonder we couldn't detect their transmissions," Tattara's floppy antennae quivered with excitement. "They're routing them through a different source!"

"We have to tell Mosla," Kettplai shoved the remaining bits of food on her plate into her mouth.

She beckoned to Tattara to follow her as she sped to a few tables over where the Resistance comms commander was sitting with Poe, Finn, and Rose. Rey noticed that BB-8 had rolled away sometime during the last half-hour to join Poe. The droid was on the bench next to him and engaging in the conversation.

"Excuse me," Tattara gathered her tray items and rushed after the Nothoiin.

"This could really help us," Rey beamed at Ben. "Thank you."

"I'd forgotten about those changes until now," Ben ran a hand through his short hair. "We... they did it almost a year ago."

"How do we know he's telling the truth?" Jecob huffed in disbelief. "He could be leading us on a wild anooba chase."

"I don't have a reason to lie," Ben shot back. "The First Order won't take me back. They'd rather kill me."

"How do you know?" Rey asked in alarm. Surely even an evil organization had standards?

Ben smirked. "I didn't make any friends as Snoke's apprentice and I didn't fare any better as Supreme Leader. Even if I wanted to go back, I couldn't. Those bridges are truly burned."

Before Rey could pursue the topic further, there was a commotion from beyond the cantina. Every fighter in the cantina unholstered their weapons and parents shielded their children. Screams and shouts filled the air. Poe was assembling a team to go investigate when Captain Gser stumbled into the grassy area; her arms and hands were covered in dark red blood. Larma let out a petrified scream and rushed to her lover.

"Daria! Where are you hurt!" She ran her hands over the captain, uncaring of getting blood on herself.

"I'm fine, love," Daria said firmly though she clutched at Larma tightly. "It's not mine."

The captain walked to Poe and stood at attention.

"General, I… I regret to report that Anzen Tirel is dead."

Rey gasped. Anzen was dead?

"How?" Poe asked darkly.

"He took his own life with a knife when I brought him food. No one knows how he obtained it. I searched him myself when I escorted him to the brig this morning," Daria took in a shaky breath. "Mixa and I tried to revive him, but..." She held out her blood-covered hands. "There's nothing we could have done."

"I want to speak with the guards who were on duty today," Poe demanded. "I want to know how this happened."

"We don't need an investigation! We already know what happened!" Jecob pointed an accusatory finger at Ben. There were some cheers of encouragement from a couple of resistance fighters in the cantina. "Anzen tried to avenge our fallen comrades but failed, so Kylo Ren made him kill himself!"

"Krayt shit! How could I have done it?" Ben shoved the table as he stood up. It moved several inches directly into Jecob's gut and sent the other man into sputtering gasps of pain. "I'm surrounded by guards every second of every day! I can't even piss without one of them breathing down my neck!"

"He couldn't have done it, Jecob," Rey said soothingly, trying to diffuse the situation. "We need to focus on finding out how Anzen obtained the knife." 

"He's the only one here whose loyalty is in question!" Jecob wheezed as he tried to get his breath back. "No one saw how Anzen got the knife. You Jedi can use your powers to control people's minds. He obviously slipped Anzen a knife and ordered him to use it after he left."

"Ben has inhibitor cuffs on," Baso calmly pointed out the flaw in his logic. "He can't use his abilities."

"Then they're not as fool-proof as we thought," Jecob charged on. He looked at the assembly of fighters and was bolstered by the sight of half of them nodding along with his argument. "I've been watching him since he got here and there have been many red flags. He was able to outrun Sertali, he made that pool of shit ripple this morning, and he's always silently communicating with Rey through their bond! If his abilities were truly locked away, he wouldn't have been able to do any of that!"

"If Rey says he didn't do it, I trust her judgment," Rose spoke up firmly.

"Well, I don't trust Rey!" Jecob snarled viciously. "She shows up out of the blue with Jedi abilities and a so-called defected stormtrooper in tow and we were supposed to accept she's on our side without question? And she just so happens to reform Kylo Ren, the Resistance's greatest enemy?"

Rey's jaw dropped at the sudden jibe at her. She hadn't done anything to warrant this level of mistrust. She'd thought she and Jecob were at least friendly acquaintances.

"Leave her out of this," Ben said slowly, his voice dropping an octave.

"Watch yourself, Jecob Wyan," Poe reached out to Finn reassuringly. "Rey and Finn are invaluable members of the Resistance and have proven their loyalties a thousand times over."

"But how do you explain her falling in love with Kylo Ren of all people? It doesn't make sense!" Jecob refused to back down. "He probably used some mind control voodoo on her when he captured her last year; she's been under his influence ever since!"

"Enough, Jecob!" Rey shouted. Energy tingled under her skin, begging to be used. She resisted the temptation to let loose; this wasn't the place to lose control. The last time she'd given in to the impulse, lightning had shot from her fingers. "My relationship with Ben is complicated and probably always will be, but I am in full control of myself! Get ahold of yourself and help us discover what happened to Anzen."

"You see?" Jecob looked to the nervous grouping of mechanics and comms people. "She defends him even after all he's done." He turned to face Ben fully. "Admit it! Admit you're controlling Rey and that you ordered Anzen to slit his own throat!"

A few of the younger Resistance fighters shouted in support of Jecob.

"I didn't do it," Ben said darkly. His brown eyes were turning black with anger as they targeted him.

Rey could feel a wealth of dark emotions swirling in him. A full blowout was imminent.

"Liar," Jecob spat. "I knew you would show your true colors eventually. With the blood of Darth Vader - one of the evilest Force users in history - running through your veins, it's no wonder your answer to every problem is murder. I'm just surprised it didn't happen sooner."

"My parents and uncle were as light as they come. My ancestry sure as hell doesn't define who I am," Ben stood tall and proud as he defended himself. Only Rey could feel his unstable mental state and see his discomfort in his stiff frame and clenched fists. "I'm not the only one here who has a contrary family line."

Rey’s heart skipped a beat as she realized where he was going with this line of thought. "Ben, wait.” she pleaded.

Ben plowed on with impulsive words. "Rey is Palpatine's granddaughter and she fought with the Resistance to destroy him! If you're not going to judge her for that, you damn well shouldn't be looking down your noses at me!"

A heavy pit settled in Rey's stomach as stunned silence filled the cantina. Everyone turned to look at her in a mixture of fear, surprise, and budding anger. Having so many sets of eyes trained on her in such a manner made her skin crawl. How could Ben reveal her secret to the base so callously! She'd been grappling with how to tell Finn and Poe, let alone everyone else. She hadn't wanted them to find out this way. Rey's stomach shifted and she almost hurled her dinner onto the grass.

"Rey?" Poe asked faintly. "Is it true?"

Rey sobbed at the look of betrayal and fear in his eyes.

"Yes," she choked out, her throat tight.

A veritable explosion of shouting filled the air as everyone started talking at once. Rey tried to breathe deeply, but her lungs felt compressed. Poe, Finn, and Ben were suddenly in front of her; they looked extremely worried and their mouths were moving, but their words were nonsensical. An indistinct mental query came through the bond; Ben was trying to ask her what was wrong.

The iron grip the fear and anxiety had on her mind and lungs suddenly evaporated and anger took its place. He had no right to ask her that after what he'd just done! Sound came flooding back and Rey shoved Ben away from her.

"Don't touch me!" Rey spat at him. "Don't ever talk to me again!"

She turned tail and fled. She had run past the med tents and the food supply store when she was jerked to a halt by someone's firm grip on her arm. She turned and glared up at her captor.

"Rey, what's wrong?" Ben's brow was furrowed in confusion. He honestly had no idea why she was upset.

"What's wrong?" Rey laughed, but there was no joy in it. "You just told the base I'm Palpatine's granddaughter."

"You are."

"I haven't told anyone yet, you asshole!" Rey screamed at him.

Understanding dawned on Ben's face and he grew pale. "Oh."

"Yes, and now I have to figure out what to do. So leave me alone."

"Rey!"

Poe and Finn raced to catch up with them. Ben's guards were following close behind. Captain Ivin's hands were still speckled with red droplets from helping Daria try to save Anzen.

"Are you alright?" Finn asked as he engulfed Rey in a warm embrace.

"No," Rey sobbed as she clutched tight at him.

She couldn't help herself from delving into his mind to catch his surface thoughts. She'd promised herself never to invade her friends' privacy this way, but she had to know what Finn thought of her now. She couldn't tell if he was shocked at the revelation, but his faith in her was unwavering as always. She sighed in relief; she couldn't bear to lose her first real friend because she happened to be related to a vengeful psychopath.

"Ben, what were you thinking, saying that to make a point?" Poe hissed.

"I didn't think-"

"No, you didn't think! You never do!" Poe let out a frustrated noise. "That's the problem."

"Come on, Ben," Aarzio said stiffly as he tugged Ben toward the field of tent quarters. "Let's give them some privacy."

"But-"

"Let's go," Ivin said definitively, grabbing Ben's other arm.

Rey watched them drag Ben away, feeling guilty yet grateful for each step he took from her. Sertali gave her a respectful nod before bounding after the men.

"Come on, let's go to the command center," Poe patted her shoulder.

Finn released her from his bear hug and the three of them walked to the huge tent. The scattered pieces of the ZT-120 navigation droid were still on the table. Poe sat her down in one of the comfy chairs and Finn brought her a cup of Deychin tea. Its floral scent soothed her frayed nerves and brought back fond memories of sharing the beverage with Leia.

"I didn't want you guys to find out I'm Palpatine's granddaughter like this," Rey said as tears stung her eyes but didn't fall.

"When did you find out you were related to him?" Finn asked.

"Only a week ago. Ben told me," Rey tried to drink her tea, but her hands were shaking too badly.

Finn's hands steadied her grip on the hot mug and she smiled at him gratefully. She took a sip of the floral brew; the warm drink spread through her icy veins and she felt better.

"It's so out there, I almost can't believe it," Poe shook his head. "How are you holding up?"

"I haven't really had a chance to come to terms with it," Rey said. "I've been trying to find the right way to tell you two. That's why I didn't say anything sooner."

"You don't have to explain yourself to us," Poe assured her.

"I... I didn't want you to look at me differently," Rey reluctantly admitted.

"You're Rey to us," Finn said firmly. "And besides, we'd all be hypocritical if we judged each other based on our family and where we came from."

Rey gave a wet chuckle and wiped a tear away.

"You're our friend," Poe said simply, folding her hand in his. "We'll stand by you no matter what."

"I don't know if a standard friendship covers this," Rey smiled.

"No matter what," Finn reiterated firmly.

"You're both amazing," Rey beamed at them. "How can you be so calm?"

"I'm not going to lie," Poe said. "This is pretty shocking news, but we're going to get through this, together."

Finn glanced to the side for a moment, but Rey caught the movement.

"Finn?" Rey asked. She perceived a flash of guilt from him before it vanished.

"I... I kind of already knew," Finn admitted.

"What?" Poe asked, dumbfounded. Rey privately echoed his sentiment.

"Leia and I found out a few months ago during one of our joint meditation sessions," Finn said. "We shared a vision of you battling a dark force. We couldn't see its face, but she knew it was Palpatine; she recognized his life signature energy. It was then that we realized how familiar it felt to your own."

"Leia knew... and she still trained me?" A ray of hope burgeoned in her, but it was slightly dampened by a shadow of doubt. "But why didn't she tell me my grandfather was the emperor? Why didn’t you?"

"She cared about you and wanted to help fulfill your potential," Finn said. "In that vision, Leia and I foresaw you knew about your relation to Palpatine... and you lost the final battle at Exogol. She made me promise not to tell you, to give you the best chance to defeat him."

"But I found out before going to face Palpatine," Rey protested; she set down the mug of tea that was starting to burn her hands. "And I won the battle."

"The only conclusion I've been able to come to is you won because you didn't face him alone," Finn shrugged. "You had Ben to help you."

"I guess," Rey shrugged. She didn't want to talk about Ben. She was still so angry with him.

"Huh, today has been crazy, hasn't it?" Poe rubbed his eyes with a long-suffering sigh. "The latrine fiasco this morning, the battle, and now all of this. I don't know how Leia handled it."

"She didn't do it by herself," Finn bumped his shoulder playfully. "And you don't have to either. You have us."

"Thank fuck for that," Poe grinned.

"So how are we going to tell everyone about my lineage?" Rey asked. "We won't be able to bury it."

"No, we won't. People will talk," Poe nodded in agreement. "Once I receive word the battle is over, I'll contact the other generals and tell them. We'll be able to control the fallout and put rumors of your disloyalty to rest. Everyone in Resistance knows and respects you; they won't turn from you for this."

"Don't let Jecob's harsh words get you down," Finn tapped his fingers on the table. "He likes you; he’s just angry."

"I hope you're right," Rey said dejectedly.

Fear raced through her veins at the thought the three bases would cast her out for something she couldn't control. It was completely irrational, but she couldn't help it.

Finn and Poe each clutched one of her hands firmly.

"Everything will be fine, Rey," Finn locked eyes with her. "I promise."

"Thank you," Rey whispered.

She was so grateful for her friends’ support. She knew she would be falling apart right now without their unwavering friendship.

A mental probe reached through the dyad bond, tingling in the back of her mind. Ben was lingering and wondering if she was okay. Rey pushed him out, not ready to talk with him. She didn't think she could ever forgive him for this.


End file.
